“The Pissy Prayer”

All too often I’ve heard that if you pray for patience the Lord will test it. I take pride in the patience I feel towards children, animals, and tedious tasks. I’m not always so patient with laziness, meanness, and ignorance.

Lately, I have witnessed laziness and unkindness in amounts exceeding my limits. In spite, of my prayers for peace, grace, and patience, the will to tolerate such selfish behavior has had me thinking about an alternative intent for my prayers.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still asking the Lord to help the flawed human race find peace, generosity, and compassion, but every once in a while, I want to pray “The Pissy Prayer.”

Now this isn’t a prayer sanctioned by any church or liturgical governing body, but it is one that I think a lot of us could benefit from. (I made “The Pissy Prayer” up myself.)

The Pissy Prayer
By Melanie A. Peters

Dear Lord,


Grant me permission to be pissy about insignificant things that others blow way out of proportion.

Grant me fussiness when friends and family fail to recognize and appreciate all the blessings you have bestowed upon them.

In your most holy name, I ask that you help me through this hissy fit and guide me as I lose my good and capable mind over whatever has worked its way into my heart.

But most of all, Lord, grant forgiveness for my imperfections, because that’s what I need to feel and demonstrate in this most imperfect world.

Amen.

I know what you are thinking.

This sounds a bit blasphemous.

Well, it might be just a touch on the cheeky side, but “The Pissy Prayer” speaks nothing but the truth about how many of us feel when we watch the news or interact with those around us. We all want the ability to be less than graceful and compassionate at times. And, I know for a fact, we all need to melt down every once in a blue moon. Forgiveness is something we need, not only for others, but for ourselves, because accepting our own imperfections is tough.

If it’s okay for us to ask God for grace and patience, doesn’t it only make sense for us to ask Him to help us as we lose our proverbial minds?

Asking for permission to work our way through anxiety, anger, and stress, in a totally human way, seems like a completely rational idea to me. So I suggest you consider “The Pissy Prayer” when you are in a situation that feels too out of your control. This is not a prayer to use willy-nilly, but one that is available for particularly stressful situations.

After you finish freaking out, tap back into your other favorite psalms, prayers, or petitions. Communicate with the greater being that brings you blessings and comfort in traditional ways and keep the connection going with the solid standby’s of the sacraments and Mother Church. Once you have worked your way past the pissiness, I promise you will find it easier to focus your energy and intents on things like patience, strength, and grace.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. Don’t forget “The Other Serenity Prayer” when you need an added variation of a tried-and-true intercession.

P.P.S. Don’t let “The Pissy Prayer” be your daily intent. That’s why we have Intentergy, and you don’t want pissiness to be your dominant daily blessing.

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