Month May 2024

A Big Butt Goodbye

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Teaching kids about death is one of the trickiest tasks parents face. I believe we can help kids through the tough lessons in life by allowing them to be an active part of the grieving process. This invites our children to voice their individual ideas for coping and moving on after a loss. Sometimes we can find inspiration, comfort, and joy in the contributions of our kiddos while experiencing times of sadness.

My friend Mandy shared one particular experience that occurred when her son and daughter were younger. Their family had a kitten that was born with severe defects in its spine. The kids named the kitten Joey. As Mandy retold the tale, Claire interjected that the kitten had a really big butt. As kittens with severe defects will do, Joey crossed over the rainbow bridge to pet heaven soon after he was born.

When it came time to bury Joey, Liam asked what they were supposed to do at a cat funeral. Mandy wracked her brain and said, “I think we share the good memories we had with Joey and sing songs or say things that remind us of the happier times with him.”

Liam told Joey he would always remember carrying him around and playing with him every morning. Liam would never forget sweet Joey. When it came time for Claire to speak, she chose the happiest song she could think of and in her tiny toddler voice busted out, “I like big butts and I cannot lie…”

Continue reading “A Big Butt Goodbye” →

Shredding Stress

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During my recent tenure as a substitute teacher, I had a student introduce me to the practice of stress shredding.

We will call that student Madddie.

Maddie was a young lady who seemed angry at the world most of the time. In one situation she jumped up excitedly as her classmates headed to the recycle bin to dispose of their graded grammar practices (a sad situation to be discussed in a future post.) It was her unusual speed and enthusiasm that caught me off guard. “Why are you taking your classmates’ papers?” I asked her. Another 8th grader piped up, “It’s okay, Mrs. P. She shreds to relieve stress.”

Interesting?!?!

Maddie had purchased a personal shredder for her bedroom and the practice of shredding paper brought her a sense of zen. I asked the entire class if it bothered them to have someone else see their grades, to which Maddie snapped, “I don’t care about their grades. I just care about shredding.” In a quieter voice, she followed up with, “It calms me down.”

The class didn’t seem fazed by the idea of someone else seeing their grammar practice grades, so I provided Maddie with a paperclip to hold the shredder fuel together. 

Identifying paper shredding as a stress reliever seemed like a perfect Intentergy practice.

Maddie found a way to break down her anxiety by mechanically mincing paper. It’s in the beauty of finding simple solutions for fixing our frustrations that life becomes easier to manage. I have known people who grounded themselves folding laundry or ironing clothes, and others who re-established their sanity by cleaning windows or mowing grass. They find peace in the order and product of their efforts.

I derive my zen from pulling weeds and cooking food. 

What can you intentionally do to tackle your stressors with simple repetition or
a few minutes of focus?

Put some Intentergy in your day by relaxing with positive purpose in your shredding, folding, washing, walking, or filing. Be like Maddie and allow the Intentergy of your practice to help you get your bearings and bring you peace.

What basic practice brings you comfort or calm?

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. If your zen comes in the form of folding clothes or washing windows, I have piles of peace waiting for you at my house.

Avoiding the World’s Fastest Shower & Squirrels

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Frequently, I find myself announcing to my already-running-late family that I am going to take “The World’s Fastest Shower,” and then we will be out the door. 

I turn the faucet handle to start the water,  brush my teeth while the water warms, jump in the shower, and begin counting down from 100 like a crazed stopwatch challenging myself to get clean and get out in under 100 seconds.

This is insane.

I know.

The “World’s Fastest Shower” may freshen me up, but it fogs my focus and definitely puts a damper on my day.

Do you do this? Do you rush yourself through things that should make you healthier and happier for the sake of keeping up with your schedule? How fast do you eat your breakfast? Do you race through reading directions only to find you skipped a step because you thought it would save time? Do you attempt to take “The World’s Fastest Shower” thinking it’ll wash away the fact that you have too much to do but are too stinky to be around the other scurrying schedule-followers? 

I think we all do. We all give ourselves crazy countdowns for the sake of keeping up. Wouldn’t it be even crazier if we stopped?

For me, the answer to avoiding “The World’s Fastest Shower” comes from not wasting my time on the “squirrels” in the room. While we have actually had furry, four-legged squirrels in our rooms (A story for a later blog post), I’m talking about the proverbial “squirrels.” These are the “squirrels” that come in the form of an unopened email, a pile of laundry, a broken door handle, a dusty photo frame, or any other distraction that trips up our ability to stay on task. 

If I could just ignore the stuff that isn’t going anywhere (i.e. dust, laundry, broken door handle, etc.), I would not be on 10, 9, 8, 7…. as I frantically try to rinse the face wash out of my hair and scrape the hair conditioner off my face. Do you feel my pain?

Here’s the challenge to all of us: Avoid the need to hold the Guinness World Record for Shortest Shower Time by leaving the “squirrels” to nest on their pesky perches. Slow down for the sake of keeping soap out of our eyes and avoiding a wipeout as we try to stick the landing leaping from the shower to get dressed. 

If it helps, you can hang a “No Squirrels” sign on your mirror reminding yourself that you don’t need to alphabetize unpaid bills or sort the unmatched socks from the last six months before you leave. The more frequently we let the “squirrels” go and give ourselves time to get ready, the easier it will be to avoid the slip-ups and stress of disastrous dashes out the door. Intentergy is energy with a positive purpose, and I can’t think of a healthier way to get your purpose energized than starting off the day without letting the “squirrels” get in the way.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I looked on the Guinness World Records website and there were no entries for “Fastest Shower,” “Fastest Shower Taken,” or “Fastest Bath” listed.