Shallow Happiness

Shallow Happiness

That whole put-on-a-smile all day, every day thing is exhausting.

There are plenty of days when I feel like my smiles are used up before I even get out of bed.

Earlier this week, I channeled my inner Dolly Parton  when someone asked my how I can stay so positive when people can be such jerks sometimes.

All I could do was quote Dolly, “I’m not happy all the time, and I wouldn’t want to be because that would make me a shallow person. But I do try to find the good in everybody.”

I’m not gonna lie. This week was a doozy. We lost a good friend to an automobile accident, learned the illness of another friend had progressed for the worse, and that we will lose our sweet uncle very soon. Students gave pitiful excuses. My children couldn’t seem to get along at all. It was a doozy.

Before I had to channel Dolly’s words of wisdom, I really was in a funk. A coworker called me out on it and so I dropped the shallow happiness quote on them.

We can’t be happy all the time.

We don’t like everyone all the time.

It is darn near impossible to find the silver lining all the time, but it is always possible to turn things around by finding one good thing in ourselves or those surrounding us. Continue reading “Shallow Happiness”

Regret as Anger ?!?!

Regret as Anger

After a particularly difficult weekend of parenting, I confided in my friend Joy that I felt like my child’s irrational behavior seemed to be a reflection of a parenting fail on my part.

My child could not accept that they had to stick to their commitments. (Never mind the fact that they had cried, begged, swore on their grave that this was the ONE thing they were born to do and HAD to do it or their pitiful life was over.)

Now there was a new, “I’m gonna die if I don’t do this” thing and I was officially the “meanest, most unfair mom ever.” (Exact words of my child.)

The words didn’t bother me. The anger behind them did.

I wasn’t as worried about the fact that they thought I was being mean; it was the fact that my child was so quick to change passions in the blink of an eye.

Joy pointed out that maybe there was some regret there. My child now saw a new opportunity and regretted making the previous choice. My friend shared that her kids had demonstrated similar behavior and accused her of “forcing” them to do the very things she knew they loved. In her kind and wise way, Joy said, “I think sometimes they (the kids) have regrets and they use it as anger towards us, but it’s not okay for them to be angry with us for what they regret.”

WOW! Continue reading “Regret as Anger ?!?!”

The Heavy Approach

Heavy Approach

“You approached it like it was heavy, so it was.”

In the past I have written about my struggles with laundry. Laundry and I have a tumultuous relationship. The laundry tumults and I trip over it and fuss about having to fold it. My kids’ relationship with those baskets of socks, shorts, and shirts is way more tragic than mine.

Each day my children are given chores. Nothing too crazy. They are to do things like empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, and clean off the table, but this past weekend my boys were to fold the socks. As far as sock piles go, this one was definitely more of a mole hill than a mountain.

It took my 8 year-old and 6 year-old almost two hours to fold approximately 20 pairs of socks.

It was ugly.

Hubby had to threaten. I had to physically remove every electronic device, every pillow and blanket, and some small furniture from the living room so they could do their job.

When the 2nd hour loomed and I had better things to do than wait for socks to be folded, I set the kitchen timer for 5 minutes.

If the socks were not folded, sorted, and delivered to their respective rooms in those 5 minutes, there would be NO internet, TV, Legos, baseball, or fishing for a week. Continue reading “The Heavy Approach”

Stars Can’t Shine Without It – Wise Words Wednesday

Stars Can't Shine

Darkness gets a bum wrap.

Many are afraid of the dark.

All too often we describe the tough times in life as the dark times.

The Dark Ages is a term assigned to the days after the fall of the Roman Empire and the years of struggle within the church for guidance and acceptance because of the uncertainty and haphazard rule of warring leaders. People felt lost, scared, and hopeless.

Even Star Wars warned us to not got to the “dark side.”

If it weren’t for the dark, the stars would not shine.

When life hands us lemons, we say, “Make lemonade.”

So why not do the same with tough times?

If you are going through some dark times, it’s okay to recognize the darkness. It’s okay to say, “This stinks.” It’s really okay to feel sad or mad or frustrated. Once you’ve acknowledged the darkness, you can find the bright spots.

tunnel

My kiddos entering the tunnel to create their constellations.

Our local library offered a constellation creation station this summer. Kids were invited to sketch a dotted outline of any constellation they could imagine. My daughter designed a horse constellation and my son created at robot. As they poked their holes in the “sky” with thumb tacks, the flashlight beam prevented them from seeing the darkness and appreciating the brightness of their work.

Once the holes were punched and the flashlights extinguished, the darkness was welcomed.

It took our eyes a moment to adjust, but once we had time to accept the unlit canvas around us the sight was incredible. Continue reading “Stars Can’t Shine Without It – Wise Words Wednesday”

Keep on Flowing – Intentergy Boost

 

Waterfalls rarely get a break from flowing and you are no different.

Right now you may be avoiding work, resting after work, wishing you had work, or maybe just getting started at work. Whatever your situation, I hope you find that you have the energy to be positive in all you do and each task you complete.

While not all of the tasks we take on are downhill like those of a waterfall, we can expect more challenges and choices to continually come our way. We have to just keep things moving and going with the flow.

So if you are feel like you are barely above water, roughing the rapids, or floating with the breeze, I hope you will keep your positive energy up and let your successes keep on flowing.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I am avoiding doing housework as I float this post along.

I Can Explain… – Wise Words Wednesday

I can explain it

“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”

The hardest part of communication is when the sender expresses the message to best of his or her ability but the receiver cannot wrap their brain around what is being shared.

As a part of each week’s lessons, I include an article or example for my students to evaluate. They are then to respond to a prompt about the excerpt. In a recent journal assignment, I shared an article about research writing and the fact that your words should be the star of the paper and the sources are your supporting characters. I was very surprised to read the response of one student in particular.

Their response said that they had not understood their thoughts and words were to be the star. The student only thought they were supposed to use the words of others as they developed their paper.

Even though our first SIX weeks had been about what interested the students and what their potential thesis and counterarguments would be, that particular student failed to understand that it is the author’s words, thoughts, and opinions that make a paper relevant.

I started to reply to the journal entry with an apology for not being clear on the intent behind their research, but then I asked myself,

“Can I make them understand with an apology?”

Continue reading “I Can Explain… – Wise Words Wednesday”

A Good Laugh and a Long Sleep – Wise Words Wednesday

Good laugh and long sleep

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.” – Irish proverb

Exhaustion is not something that is new to most of us. Finding time to rest is tough too, but finding time to laugh with friends can be tougher.

Recently some friend and I did find time to be together. (It was our third attempt in four months for a girls’ night. Life is just too full.)

In the brief hours we were together, we enjoyed food, drink, and conversation. The best part was that with each drink, bite, and topic discussed we laughed.

That night I went to bed with a smile on my face and the evening’s antics running through my mind. The normal worry and weight of my day was not there and I slept.

I slept REALLY well.

The next day dawned brighter and I felt recharged. That laughter and rest were definitely what the doctor ordered. So here’s my prescription for you.

Make laughter happen. Find time to relax. For best possible results add laughter followed by rest. You’ll be glad you did.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I am not a real doctor, nor do I play one on television.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whack-a-mole Mentality

Whack a mole 2Have you ever felt like you are waiting to be whacked each time you get up in the morning? Is the day gonna be a pain free, pop out of bed kind of day OR is there a fluff-covered hammer coming at you?

I feel like a whacked mole frequently.

If it isn’t my kids hating every effort I make to give them a happy childhood, it is my husband who just doesn’t get why I need to worry about my endless list of concerns, or it is the cranky guy at the gas station who doesn’t think I know how to put air in my own car tires. (He really deflates me.)

Here’s the deal. Whack-a-mole is a game. It is a game of chance (just like life).

We are always going to be the mole blindsided by a whack or taking a risk to enjoy the time when that hammer doesn’t come down. Sometimes, we are the ones wielding the whacks on the other unsuspecting adventurers. Whatever the case may be, we all have the potential to be a mole in this wacky world.

The silver lining is that the Whack-a-mole game of life gives us some special rules and opportunities. Continue reading “Whack-a-mole Mentality”

Pouring From an Empty Cup…

two clear drinking glasses on table

Photo by Andreea Ch on Pexels.com

The last post that I fully drafted and shared on Intentegy was on February 28th. That was 110 days ago. So for almost a third of this year, I have not shared my Intentergy on this site. (YIKES!)

That’s okay because it’s never healthy to pour from an empty cup.

Each day life has a way of filling us up and draining all we have in one foul swoop. My days, while not all foul, definitely took a lot out of me.

This spring I witnessed, worked through, and experienced many powerful things and survived a number of challenges. Through all of the moments, minutes, hours, and weeks of existing, I continued to gather inspiration for writing, but failed to scrape together time to write.

For my absence I apologize. What I won’t apologize for is saying “No” to writing during this time. My cup was just too empty to eek out a weak post. As a reader, your time is too valuable for me to do that. Continue reading “Pouring From an Empty Cup…”

Your Strongest Excuse is Weak – Thoughtful Thursday

Strongest Excuse

“Be stronger than your strongest excuse.”

Some of my most amusing moments as an educator have occurred because of excuses my students have given for not doing their work. It’s funny how their minds work and what reasons they think will get them out of a pinch.

One industrious young lady gave the excuse that she had to “cut her dad’s hair” preventing her from doing her homework. This same student later used the excuse that she had to “rearrange her living room” and was just not able to do her assignment. Needless to say, her weak excuses reflected strongly in her poor final grade.

As I watch my own children try to wriggle their way out of chores and trouble, the excuses they give are amusing (most of the time). With each feeble argument, hubby and I try to use their sorry tales to teach them that excuses are not a way to build a strong stance.

As an adult, there are some people we just know will always have an excuse for not doing their job or fulfilling an obligation.

There is nothing worse that knowing you can’t count on someone. When someone always has an excuse for failing to pull their weight, they start to become dead weight pulling down the whole team.

Continue reading “Your Strongest Excuse is Weak – Thoughtful Thursday”