Sometimes the Answer is “No.”

Sometimes the Answer is No

Monday the electric company cut down our pear tree.

It was not just any pear tree.

My babies and my nieces and nephews all ate canned pears from that tree when they were too young to eat the fresh pears. It was our safe spot in case of fire or evacuation when we lived in the old farm house. Countless pears from that tree were given as gifts to friends and neighbors. For 6 six years, Peters’ Pears were delivered for Letter “P” Show-and-Share Day at Miss Kim’s daycare. That tree was the first place we let our kids go to “alone” after we built our new house. (It is just up the driveway, but far enough away to feel like freedom.) When my children came home after a stressful day at school, I would often let them take a break to pick pears and de-stress as they ate the fresh fruit and walked the distance to and from that fruit-filled tree. Watching deer eat the fallen pears was always a fun pastime.

The only downfall to that tree was it stood 13 feet from the power line and the required distance was 15 feet. Even though it has never grown (and probably would never grow) tall enough to touch the lines, those two feet cost us our tree. Continue reading “Sometimes the Answer is “No.””

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There are NO Crazy Contest Champions

Crazy Relaxation 1

Recently, in one of my classes, I made a joke about my crazy family. My students laughed and then began shouting out things about their families that were “crazy.” I laughed right along with them for a minute, but, after a few of the experiences shared were a bit too unfortunate, I used my teacher voice and shut down the conversation. “We are all crazy. It’s not a competition.”

Goodness knows my family and I suffer from some pretty cool idiosyncrasies but we are no different than the clan down the road. Yes, we might require dumplings (that are rolled so thin, they really should be called noodles) at EVERY family function. True, we might all suffer from a bit of OCD about things like who has to sit at the kids’ table. We have our share of skeletons in the closet, but the skeletons remain because some of us are too attached to our grudges. (Seriously, guys, let them go!) In all honesty, we are wonderfully loving and crazy in our own right.

The same goes for you and your family. Sometimes family isn’t made up of blood-relatives. Sometimes our families are those we surround ourselves with day in and day out. “Family” consists of those who make you feel loved, safe, and comfortable. They are the ones you know will love you even if you are crazy. Continue reading “There are NO Crazy Contest Champions”

“I am very allergic to poison” – Wise Words Wednesday

Aren’t we all allergic to poison?

In “The Secret of Life of Pets” Max tries to avoid a bite from a one-fanged python by letting the other animals know he is allergic to poison.

This scene makes me laugh (really hard) every time.

The crazy thing is…we are all allergic to poison, but it seems we are way too willing to allow poison into our lives.

Poison comes in many forms. Negativity, guilt, shame, fear, and grudges are toxic to our happiness. Some suffer toxic relationships. There are physical poisons too, such as drugs, alcohol, and unhealthy foods. The crazy thing is we knowingly ingest that bad stuff. I try really hard to avoid the physical poisons. Drugs are something I have never done. But boy, do I like wine, chocolate, and fried chicken. (Hopefully my consumption of these is not too bad for me.)

Mr. Yuck

Mr. Yuk

When I was a kid, my mom put Mr. Yuk stickers on any products that were poisonous. That ugly, green guy told us to stay away or at least make sure we didn’t eat whatever yucky stuff was in those packages. Why don’t we have Mr. Yuk stickers for the emotional poisons in our lives? Continue reading ““I am very allergic to poison” – Wise Words Wednesday”

Refuse Corruption – Wise Words Wednesday

Refuse Corruption – Wise Words Wednesday

Corruption's Refussal

“Seriously, everyone is doing it.” “No one cares of I do it.” “Really, what will it hurt?” “They are all bad. Do you really think we can change them?” “It’s just on the news. Does it really affect me?”

While these are all fine questions, they are also means for corruption to enter into our lives. Accepting corruption fertilizes its growth and feeds its power. “Refuse to let the world corrupt you.”

The morning news makes me angry. They infuriate me with their story choices.

Why is it so necessary to start our day hearing and seeing violence, destruction, and upheaval among the human race?

I guess it sells ads and gets ratings, but maybe it is corruption’s way of daring us to become complacent or uncaring.

Well, this is your Intentergy double dog dare to not become complacent and uncaring!!!

(This does not mean I let my kids watch the police brutality videos or the clips of the bombing victims in Syria.) 

Here is my challenge for you.

png 1 Do not allow the media to desensitize you.

png 1 Do not allow yourself to think you are above the law or regulations established for the protection of our communities.

png 1 Do not allow corruption to be an accepted part of your daily routine.

png 1 Refuse to turn away from those in need.

png 1 Refuse to let your light of kindness and decency be diminished.

png 1 Refuse to let what others think change who you are or what you believe to be right.

png 1 Be the change that this world needs. Do not let corruption take hold.

png 1 “Refuse to let the world corrupt you.”

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I believe we all have the power to overcome corruption. We just can’t overcome it all alone. Refuse to let the world corrupt you.

 

 

 

 

Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday

Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday via Daily Prompt: Instinct

The Right Instinct

I have learned a lot in my life from Lady O.

  1. Wear pretty underwear when you are feeling ugly. (A lesson learned on a sick day watching Oprah Winfrey Show when I was in high school)

    Oprah

    Photo credit: Google Images

  2. Multitasking is hard on our brains. We must condition our brains to identify priorities. (Another Oprah Winfrey Show tidbit)
  3. Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, is a master of literature. (Because of this lesson, I have taught Walker’s story “Everyday Use” for the last 10 years.)
  4. “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. That is the lesson, and that lesson alone will save you a lot of grief.”

 

Recently I read a post on stranger danger and how children’s discomfort around adults, even familiar adults, should be respected and acknowledged. There is something to this discontent that we should regard.

When someone unfamiliar calls you and their tone sets off alarm bells in the back of your brain, it is okay to put your responses on hold until they have established themselves as someone who is trustworthy.

Great deals or special values are not always so “special.” If you believe a “deal” to be too good to be true. Your honesty meter is going off and you should probably step away from the “deal” until you can find the real value in it.

Many of life’s opportunities require us to go with our gut. Letting our instincts inspire us is integral to making life changing choices.  Continue reading “Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday”

Recharge

via Daily Prompt: Recharge

Recharge

recharge.JPG.

While we all seem to be connected through technology, we are also connected to our own energy source. I have found that all too often I am more apt to charge my phone’s battery than my own.

I really want to be better at recharging.

Recently a friend of mine was diagnosed with Mononucleosis. It was a welcome diagnosis because she has been feeling very run down and her doctor told her there were some potentially scary causes for her condition. She was relieved but frustrated all at once. “How does a respectable, grown woman get mono?” She texted me. I reminded her that Kevin Siegrist, pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals, has battled mono this season too and he is in prime physical condition. It just happens.

I told her to rest and recharge and she would be better in no time.

At almost the exact same time, someone else that I love texted to tell me that she had cracked two ribs. (We knew they were probably cracked, but she was too stubborn to go to the doctor.) I offered to make dinner and help her around her house so that she could rest. Her response was that she was just going to keep working and they were only a little sore. How are we ever going to get the soreness to go away if she doesn’t rest and recharge???!!!??? Continue reading “Recharge”

The Adhesive Power of Guilt

The Adhesive Power of Guilt

Guilt Glue

Guilt is sticky. Guilt is a sin. It is a nagging, draining, power-sucking sin. We are not intended to feel guilt by nature, but our human condition allows us to attach guilt to our hearts and minds.

I am the worst when it comes to feeling guilty. I will let the slightest mishap or slip of the tongue weigh me down like a 2-ton anchor. I am not sure why I am so attractive to guilt, other than the fact that I am so desperate to always do the best job possible. The realization is starting to sink in that my definition of “best job possible” sometimes equates to a job that is “not really possible.” I need to get better at letting go. We are all a work-in-progress.

I’ve been working hard to wash away the residue left from past guilt and have found that it makes living a lot easier. My desire to avoid the attraction to guilt has made it easier to notice the way it clings to others. It hurts me to see when those I love let guilt hold them back in their relationships. Guilt stinks!

Guilt is a real drag. Like a ball and chain kind of drag. That is why I say guilt has adhesive powers. Once you feel guilt for one thing, all the other possibilities come rushing in and stick to you, like a piece of old toilet paper on the back of your shoe. Sometimes you don’t even know it’s there. The worst part is that guilt has an especially power grip on those who fall prey to its burden. Continue reading “The Adhesive Power of Guilt”

House Rules

House Rules

house rules for happiness (1).JPG

Every home has its rules.

I purchased this set of lovely limitations from the bargain bin at Target. Each day I find myself creating new rules for my rowdy household. Rules like: Don’t put your feet on that, don’t put that in your mouth, we don’t use those kinds of words, NO you may not use knives. The list could go on and on.

The more I find myself repeating the mantras of motherhood; the more I believe them to be true. I really do want my kids to buckle up, keep their rooms clean, eat their vegetables, and keep their feet off the table. I really, really do believe that “Because I said so” is a reason for completing a task.

Often my husband and I discuss our fears about parenthood. Are we strict enough? Are we too strict? How does so-and-so deal with their child’s behavior? Whose side gave our kids their crazy habits? 🙂 I think all parents have these concerns and I believe that all families have to work their way through the perils of parenthood.

The best thing we can do for our kids is to establish expectations. If we set standards for behavior and communication, our children will grow into adults who value hard work, respect, and healthy relationships. We may feel like the meanest moms and dads in the world but in reality we are making the world a less “mean” place when we guide our sons and daughters to act and interact with appropriate behavior. Manners, pleasantries, common courtesies are all elements of civilization that must be upheld. If we don’t expect our children to demonstrate these basic behaviors, how can we expect society to reflect kindness and compassion for all?

Take time to establish your house rules. Take even more time to uphold them. If your kids see you stick to your guns, they will know it is important to you and that will make those rules important to them.

Put your energy into raising families that consider dedication and courtesy to be the standard. Demonstrate clear intent when it comes to showing your kids how others should be treated and how work should be completed. Giving positive feedback for appropriate behavior will only encourage children’s understanding for the importance of respect and reliability.

By: Melanie A. Peters

 

 

Burst Your Own Bubble – July Positivity Challenge

Burst Your Own Bubble – July Positivity Challenge

 

Burst Your Own Bubble.png

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Intentergy’s July Positivity Challenge is to burst your own bubbles of insecurity or fear. Send those inhibitions flying. Burst the barriers that hold you back from being happy with yourself or your life.

Here are a few things to try:

png 1 Get your bubbles in a row

  • Make a list of the things that hold you back from participating in social or professional functions or that leave you frustrated with yourself
  • Identify what events or things cause the greatest anxiety for you
  • Create a picture or chart of the stressors that rule your thoughts or constantly hang in the back of your mind

png 1 Be a Bubble Brain

  • Have a willingness to change your mind. When you are ready to stop dedicating your brain power to those fears, your brain will become too slippery for those thoughts to hold on; they will wash themselves away.
  • Address the things you listed or drew when you were getting your bubbles in a row. Short of death, what can you do to get past those big, bad bubbles?
  • Devise a plan that will help you get past those insecurities. Start with the little worries or hang ups and work your way to dispelling the bigger hindrances harbored in your heart. For example, start with your fear of trying new foods before your fear of flying. Order something new from the menu of your favorite restaurant before you tackle your fear of air planes by sky diving.
  • Ask for help. There are many resources out there. Friends, family, counselors, good books, websites (like http://www.intentergy.com), and health care professionals are ready and waiting to blow away those bubbly barriers with you.

png 1 Let the wind carry it all away

  • Once you have turned away an inhibition, let it go. Forgive yourself for the fear or reservations. You are always a work in progress. You will never forget the growth you experienced getting past that problem, but you can forget to let it have power over you again.
  • When those bubbly burdens pop back up, breeze right on past them. Remember you popped that bubble. It can’t trap you anymore.

png 1 Be a Bubble-Busting Bad Ass

  • Keep that list of fears and inhibitions handy. After the first problem is popped, move on to the next. Only you can stop yourself. They are just bubbles after all.
  • Facing your fears makes you tougher. Once you have busted that first bubble, go for the second. The sky is the limit.
  • Yes, some bubbles are going to be harder to wreak havoc on than others, but you’ve got this. You are a Bubble-Busting Bad Ass.

After you have kissed any bubble of doubt good-bye, you can expect to feel or see:

png 1 A Victory Dance

  • After breaking past those bad feelings, bust a move! Give yourself time and energy to feel good about what you have accomplished. My favorite victory dance takes form in the eating a Hershey’s chocolate bar. 🙂

png 1 Bubbles can come back

  • The bubbles will be back. Remember, you busted past that bad boy. It isn’t your barrier anymore. You are a Bubble-Busting Bad Ass.

png 1 New bubbles may pop up

  • When a new fear or insecurity flies at you, take aim at what you need to do to get past it. You have conquered other fears and doubts, the new ones are no different. Do not let them hold you back or cage you in. Forgive yourself when you feel like your fears have won. You are always a work in progress. Just keep poppin’ away.

Put your energy into blowing away the insecurities that float your direction. When it comes to shooting down those shortcomings, put positivity into your intent and your nervousness and worries can’t help but to simply dissolve away.

By: Melanie A. Peters

 

Summit’s System for Success – Wise Words Wednesday

Summit’s System for Success – Wise Words Wednesday

Summits Success System

Pat Summit changed lives. Her headstrong, no non-sense way of facing life on and off the basketball court impacted more people than she could ever imagine.

Aside from being the winningest coach in NCAA Division I basketball history, Coach Summit brought attention to a sport that had long been overlooked and demonstrated what it was to be a strong female leader.

People respected Pat Summit and her methods. She brought about progress. That progress will continue beyond her time with us because of the lessons she taught. There was so much more to her than the competitiveness and dedication that she demonstrated. There was an understanding that anything worth doing is worth working for.

Take Pat’s advice today and make your goals something measurable. They can only become tangible, if we dedicate ourselves to the successes and failures we encounter. Work past simply writing them down. Make your words your actions. Make things happen.

Rest in peace, Coach Summit. Thank you for all you taught us.

By: Melanie A. Peters