Teaching kids about death is one of the trickiest tasks parents face. I believe we can help kids through the tough lessons in life by allowing them to be an active part of the grieving process. This invites our children to voice their individual ideas for coping and moving on after a loss. Sometimes we can find inspiration, comfort, and joy in the contributions of our kiddos while experiencing times of sadness.

My friend Mandy shared one particular experience that occurred when her son and daughter were younger. Their family had a kitten that was born with severe defects in its spine. The kids named the kitten Joey. As Mandy retold the tale, Claire interjected that the kitten had a really big butt. As kittens with severe defects will do, Joey crossed over the rainbow bridge to pet heaven soon after he was born.

When it came time to bury Joey, Liam asked what they were supposed to do at a cat funeral. Mandy wracked her brain and said, “I think we share the good memories we had with Joey and sing songs or say things that remind us of the happier times with him.”

Liam told Joey he would always remember carrying him around and playing with him every morning. Liam would never forget sweet Joey. When it came time for Claire to speak, she chose the happiest song she could think of and in her tiny toddler voice busted out, “I like big butts and I cannot lie…”

Needless to say, Claire’s song brought joy to Mandy and Liam’s hearts. I am certain Joey and the angels were looking down on the ceremony with fond hilarity. Claire found the happiest way she knew to say goodbye to Joey and helped her mom and brother in a sorrowful situation. I think we could all benefit from a big-butt goodbye sometime.

If you find yourself in a situation where you have to let go of someone or something, I hope you can find your big butt goodbye. I hope you can bring the happiest memory, song, food, or experience to the forefront as you bid farewell. Let the best bye-bye be one that encourages healing through laughter. Just as Claire surprised her family with the Sir Mix-a-Lot sign-off, you might find relief in the revelation of how easy it is to recall the good times once you get started or in the ways children help us cope. (They are resilient little boogers.)

For today’s Intentergy challenge, put some sadness in your past by saying goodbye in the biggest big-butt way you can think of. Surprise yourself with the sweet recollections remembered and the peace that comes with perfect 36-24-36 only if it’s 5′ 3″ memory (or something like that).

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. Even white boys got to shout, this is a great way to say goodbye.