“You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town”

― Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

Recently, I stopped at a gift shop in hopes of finding a special present for my niece. It was a normal errand on a typical day, and I was pretty excited about the task. All of a sudden, a voice from my past called my name (literally). It was not a voice I expected or wanted to hear. The projector of the voice was someone who caused a lot of embarrassment and insecurity for me in the past.

I responded with a smile and answered all the questions thrown at me about my life now. Fortunately, I had to pick up my son from practice, so I said my goodbyes and got the heck out of there. The rest of my evening was filled with monkey mind memories swinging from one hurtful remembrance to another.

You know the type. The memory that pops up at 2:00 a.m. when you can’t shut your brain off or the voice across the room that causes your stomach to drop (not in a good way). Some memory monkeys are rabid and never stop attacking your thoughts, while others are sneaky and shimmy into your day without you realizing and then you, all of a sudden, are in full-on “can’t think about anything else mode.”

Here’s the good news. With time, forgiveness, and grace, we can pry those memory monkeys off our proverbial backs and send them packing.

Here’s the bad news. You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.

Anne Lammot wrote these wise words in her book, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith, when I read this I knew Anne was on to something.

When we do find the strength to move forward, it seems like that pesky memory monkey always finds a way to pop up in our day, whether it be in our thoughts or in the checkout line. The “circus” could be the result of living in a small town or the fact that your mind is its own three-ring extravaganza of emotions and you are the head clown.

Whatever primate of pain we find ourselves trying to escape, we have to let it go, or we will forever find ourselves with a front-row ticket to a trapeze of turmoil.

Here’s what I did to combat the crappy feelings that were crashing down on me. I ate a Hershey’s bar. (Chocolate makes everything better.) I hugged one of other the moms at practice (It’s cool. We’re friends), gave my son a huge smile, and high-fived every single kid as they filed out. I drove home and snuggled with hubby on the couch. I said a prayer of thanks for all that I have and how far I have come and asked the Lord to keep the memory monkey at bay. My method for kicking that monkey to the curb was to fill my mind with good thoughts so that there was no place for that primate to take hold.

The circus never leaves town, and there may be a barrel of memory monkeys around every corner, but we all have the ability to step away from the ring of regret. We don’t have to be shot out of the cannon of shame or a passenger in the clown car of chaos. We can choose to shut those memories down by simply finding the grace to get the hell out of there.

Today’s Intentergy challenge is to NOT focus on the memory monkeys that drag you back into the circus of insecurity or sadness. Pry those pesky thoughts off with positive memories or call someone who understands your personal circus, someone who fills you will love, laughter, and acceptance. Make plans to do something that will bring you joy and then follow those plans. Write a list of the amazing, wonderful, plentiful blessings in your life and tape it to your fridge or mirror. Establish your intention for the day to be positive and know that your purpose isn’t to be caught up in the past. Move forward. Dedicate your energy to thoughts and actions that make you the ringleader of your own successful circus and cage those monkeys in the past.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. If you need a way to start forgetting that pesky memory monkey, try counting all the circus metaphors in this post. How many did you find?