Dependability. Consideration. Support. Trust.
We all strive to bring these characteristics to our relationships. No one wants to be known as the “canceller” or the “flake” in friendship. Even with the universal expectation for accountability, we all know life happens. Sometimes we are forced to detour from plans or take rain checks.
I hate asking for rain checks, and it absolutely kills me to be the one who lets someone else down.
(Seriously, I lie awake at night and stew about failures to follow through on plans, even when there was no way to prevent it.)
Despite my extreme aversion to being a “canceller,” there is one person I let down way too often.
It was not until I started reading Rachel Hollis’ book, Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be, that I recognized my frequent-flake status.
In Girl, Wash Your Face, the chapters are dedicated to the lies we tell ourselves. These lies prevent us from seeking out our most successful selves. Hollis shares in her writing how she debunked her personal lies and her methods for overcoming predicaments she faced with each lie. I hadn’t even gotten through Chapter 2, “The Lie: I’ll Start Tomorrow,” when my personal-lie-realization rammed me right in the heart.
To prove her point about how easy it is to put something off until later because of convenience or to avoid the judgment of others, Rachel wrote about a time when she stuck to her commitment to run.
After a night out with friends, she ran on her treadmill, as planned, and posted her progress on social media. When a friend suggested that she could have put it off until the next day, Rachel told her friend that she didn’t want to cancel on herself. The friend’s response, “I am the FIRST person I break a promise to” (pg 12).
Wow! To herself? That is who she breaks promises to first?!?
Guess what.
I felt that in my soul.
I am the first person I cancel on.
I am the first person I shortchange when a plan has been made, but something comes up for someone else. I will drop what I was craving or needing and pick up the pieces to make someone else’s plans possible.
We are called to serve one another; I know!
We are here to love one another; I know!
But why are we so quick to think that keeping our personal dreams or intentions in the forefront is THE failure?
I’m certain others have felt or are feeling this way right now.
Do you cancel on yourself?
How often do you set aside your goals or plans because it might be an inconvenience to someone else?
Here’s the Intentergy challenge for today: Stop cancelling on your plans, dreams, goals, and self. I double-dog dare you to stick to a goal. Even a small one.
Stick to it.
Then put another plan into action.
Keep keeping up with your dreams, and you will be living a dream life.
Yes, there may be times when a detour is necessary, but make sure it’s just that – A detour. You don’t have to leave everyone you care about in the dust of your awesomeness, but do let them see you radiate with success because cancelling on yourself was not an option. Don’t be the first person you cancel on.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. I highly recommend Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be. Lysa TerKeurst also wrote about the first time she kept a self-promise to write and the guilt that came with turning down a dinner date in The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. Her overcoming that remorse really helps me when I feel guilty about setting aside time for my goals. I highly recommend this book to fire up your goal-getting as well.
Intentergy 