Have you ever loved someone enough to stand in front of a crowd of family, friends, and coworkers and bash that person? Have you shared stories of their failures, personal problems, and, most likely, their greatest insecurities?
Well, I have.
Did it feel good?
It absolutely did.
What is wrong with me?
Nothing.
What’s wrong with my little sister?
Apparently, a lot of things.
To celebrate my sister reaching a monumental age, my brother-in-law planned a Toast and Roast.
He invited guests to gift my sister with sarcasm, trash talk, and general degradation of her character.
It was phenomenal!
Who knew that slander and verbal abuse could bring people together in such a glorious light?!?
After the roasters had laid out their lines of laughable insult, the birthday girl was given a turn to bash them back.
As my sister took the stage, I was slightly fearful that the roasts had burned a little too deep. She walked up and said, “This was the weirdest birthday party I’ve ever had, so, uh, I guess, thanks?”
In order to maintain my status as “Meanest Mom Ever,” I assign chores to my children. One of the most frequent tasks assigned is that of unloading and reloading the dishwasher. In response to their frequent whining about the task, I, in true “seven miles up hill, both ways, in the snow” fashion, sadly lament that I didn’t have a dishwasher growing up.
If grumbling continues, I remind them of when our last dishwasher died and we went weeks without one. To emphasize the experience, I will start filling the sink with hot, soapy water and invite them to go ahead and wash the dirty dishes by hand. I encourage them to dry those dishes AND put them away, IF they can’t find the energy to take care of the fully functional dishwasher. (It’s child abuse at its finest.)
The other day, I found myself in need of one of these “Don’t forget you’ve got it” reminders as well. Everywhere I walked in my house, I noticed things begging for my attention. Too much laundry to fold, too many floors in need of sweeping, too much mail to sort, and more sticky notes with stuff to do than I could muster the strength to tackle. It was truly a first-world crisis.
To distract myself from the despair of too much to do, I did what any normal human would do. I chose to scroll through Facebook. One of the very first posts that popped up in my feed was from Ms. Sunshine. I love her posts because they are always short, sweet, and uplifting. That particular day, her message was a bullseye to my heart, reminding me that I had way too much to be grateful for.
Each and every day, we have blessings and burdens laid at our feet. Their significance is determined by how much power we give them through our actions and intentions. Do we remember to go heavy on the thanks, or do we overload our focus with our problems?
I felt like someone turned on the hot, soapy water in the sink for me and said, “Are you gonna clean your attitude up the hard way? Or are you going to take full advantage of your abilities to make a difference?”
After sharing Ms. Sunshine’s post, I put down my mind-zapping, cellular device and got back to getting things done. Later that night (after my attitude and house were cleaner), I revisited my Facebook feed and was pleasantly surprised to see how many of my friends “liked” and shared the Ms. Sunshine post.
Maybe they all needed a “Don’t forget you’ve got it” reminder, too, or maybe their purpose for the day was to broadcast that reminder to others. Any which way, gratitude got some attention, and attitudes got some adjusting.
Here’s your Intentergy positive purpose for today: Go heavy on the “Thank you, God, for everything” and remember that you have an abundance of tasks, chores, and opportunities available to dedicate some energy towards. You’ve got so much going for you that the possibilities may seem overwhelming. There are tons of people out there cheering for you. The world is full of resources, energy, education, and joy. The key is: Don’t forget you’ve got it all at your disposal.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. No children or dishes were harmed in the unloading or reloading of the dishwasher, and a little hand washing won’t hurt anyone.
P.P.S. At least we have running water and soap to clean the plates that had been covered in healthy, delicious food.
This past winter, Mother Nature kicked our butts and knocked down four of our barns. She was having some sort of meltdown and threw a bunch of ice and snow at us. Hopefully, that’s all out of her system, and this next winter will be calmer.
We struggled mightily with the load of losing buidlings, but were supported by our community and family. People came out of the frozen woodwork to help us rescue turkeys and cattle from the collapsed buildings and provide food for the crews. Countless others sent prayers and messages of support. It was a mess, but we were still blessed.
After the winter storms passed and the snow melted, the scene that remained was one of a war zone.
Spring brought crazy winds and unpredictable rainstorms. It was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but we continued to persevere by shifting our production schedule and praying for a break in the weather so clean up could begin.
While our buildings may not have all been standing, optimism could still be found
Most of the feed bins were still intact. The concrete foundations remained usable. Only one of the three turkey barns actually had birds in it, and only one calf was lost in the collapse of the barn that housed our feeder calves.
So what could posibily have stuck out as positive in this situation?
In the fold of mangled metal, our best ladder remained upright. It was hard to spot at first, but there it was just hanging out there waiting to give us a little lift.
How in the world did that ladder not get pulled down by the weight of the collapsing building?
Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are by Lysa TerKeurst screamed, “Read me!” from the shelves at the bookstore, library, and in my Amazon “Something you might like” recommendations. I added it to my WTR list and after a particularly disheartening week, I thought I’d give it a listen while Ubering the kids around. Yup, Amazon was right. I do like it.
I’m grateful I chose to listen to the audio version because hearing the words from Lysa TerKeurst’s actual voice made the message much more authentic and relatable, but it’s the words that have my heart aching for healthier ways to set boundaries for those I love and myself.
The crazy thing is that it took nearly to the end of the ninth chapter in a twelve-chapter book for my desperate self to realize my real problem. It’s not the expectations of others that fuel my need to establish boundaries. My issue is that I’m trying to build boundaries from the wrong end of the emotional gas gauge. I am full up on obligations while running on empty when it comes to inspiration, self-worth, and time.
Before listening to Lysa’s narrative, I believed that creating boundaries between myself and others could cause me to fail as a Christian. I thought refusing to give of myself as Christ did resulted in others not needing or appreciating me, and the best way to feel accepted and helpful was to run myself into the ground fulfilling the expectations of others. (If I’m killing myself to help, they will see my efforts and love me more, right?!?)
Between January 7th and February 18th, my family celebrates 14 birthdays. You read that right, 14 BIRTHDAYS. Within that window of time, two of my best friends revel in the anniversary of their births as well. This adds up to a lot of birthday cake and other first-world problems.
So while in a sugar coma, I pondered all the problems that come along with so much celebrating.
First, I had to clean my house because people might recognize that we live here between birthday parties.
Second, I was forced to shop for gifts to bestow upon the birthday boys and girls within days of another fairly large holiday (Darn Christmas!).
Third, the NOISE. Sleepovers, trampoline parks, an excited dog, and a basement full of party-goers produced a lot of noise.
Will someone please make their birthday wish for tranquility?
Despite my tragic first-world fiascos, I want to just say that I am grateful for a home to share with others and all the laundry, dishes, food, papers, books, toys, and electronic cords that pile up.
I am exceptionally thankful for the humans who drag all the laundry, dishes, food, papers, books, toys, and electronic cords through my home. They provide purpose and subjects to smother with love and attention.
The Winner of the “Which Jalapeño Recipe Should Melanie Make” Survey is…
BACON-WRAPPED JALAPENOS!
Thanks so much to everyone who read “More Than One Way to Slice a Jalapeño” and voted for the recipe they would like to see most! (Rachel, get your camera crew gear on, we are going to make a video!)
My family is very excited about the winner because it is one of their favorites, and they will benefit from all the jalapeño goodness that comes from cooking them.
The survey also asked what topics readers would like to have more of in 2025. Here are the results.
It looks like we are going to put our Intentergy into battling stress and anxiety as a priority and make some good, faith-filled food along the way. Thanks so much to everyone who gave their input!
Comments are always welcome, and some folks were kind enough to add a few to the survey.
As far as all of my writing being wonderful, I appreciate your bias, but I’m going to keep trying to get better. Friendship and its importance are definitely worthy topics for future posts. As for the jalapeño jelly recipe, we might be able to work something out while the bacon-wrapped alapeños are grilling.
Intentergy is energy with positive purpose. Writing for this blog has buoyed me through some not-so-positive times and having people who are willing to read and seek out the Intertergy in their own lives makes the world a better place. Thank you!
I’m excited to get the winning recipe out there for others to try and eager to publish more posts spreading Intentergy. Here’s to spicy, happy eating, and joyful, inspired reading!
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Always feel free to comment… even if your Jalapeño recipe choice didn’t win.
In September, my friend Rachel and I planned a girls’ trip around a few doctor appointments. We booked a hotel room and made exciting plans to attend the last home game for the St. Louis Cardinals and visit the Missouri Botanical Gardens.
The Cardinals’ game was a win and the weather was perfect. That night we enjoyed watching football and relaxing in our hotel room, but when we woke the next morning Mother Nature had experienced a mood change and it was pouring rain.
Who wants to walk around a botanical garden in the rain?
Well, I guess we did.
The guy who sold us our entry tickets said we probably wouldn’t get to see much of the gardens without getting wet. We thanked him, took our visitor’s map, and headed out hoping to walk between the drops.
We quickly found refuge in one of the coolest greenhouses ever. Inside its walls were some of the most fascinating plants with the coolest names.
(This is the greenhouse I’m going to ask Hubby to build for me.)
We discovered plants that are on the brink of extinction, including one called the “Fine Lady.” Rachel and I decided that they may have named this plant after us because we are definitely a rare breed.
How does a “Fine Lady” end up on the list of Endangered Plants?
She’s “fine” after all. Maybe there IS something wrong with being just “fine.”
There were some seriously exotic plants, like the Buddha’s Hand. It was kind of creepy, and I really kind of want one.
As we enjoyed checking out the foliage and fruits of the first greenhouse, the rain let up. We made our way through the rose garden and around the waterlily ponds without having to share the space with a single other soul.
We had the beautiful, but wet, botanical gardens all to ourselves.
Before the rain returned, we decided to find the Climatron. It was advertised as the highlight of the gardens and a completely enclosed rainforest environment.
The Climatron was amazing! The rainy weather had woken all of the plants and they put on a most brilliant display. The thought and effort put into creating The Climatron forest were inspiring and we witnessed countless moments of organic beauty as we wondered its paths. I guess we really were the kind of people who wanted to walk around a botanical garden in the rain.
While the weather changed our plans and the plants made us feel small, the experience made a big impact on how we were able to spend our time. Our stroll through the gardens was comfortable, unrushed, and without distraction from anyone else. If we had given up on our plans because of the rain, we would have missed out on such a unique experience.
We took a chance, despite the weather, and it paid off.
We didn’t settle for “It’s fine; we don’t have to go,” and our visit was a vibrant experience that not a lot of people got to see that day.
I encourage you to do the same. Take a chance. Make a plan. Stick to your plan. Enjoy all you witness and know that your unique escapade has enriched your life.
Put some energy into planning something beautiful and I’m certain your purpose will be rewarded, maybe soggy, but rewarded in some very cool ways.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Does anyone have blueprints for that greenhouse? Hubby is going to need them.
Fine ladies (Not Endangered) under a waterfall in the Botanical Garden.
What do you do when your buddy Timmy gives you four 5-gallon buckets of jalapeños? You get creative with jalapeño.
Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Hubby took Timmy up on the offer to pick some peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, and squash from his massive garden late this past summer. I was excited about the fresh produce and eager to give at least one new recipe a try. Little did I know I would soon be up to my eyeballs in stems, seeds, and researching ways to preserve the plentiful peppers.
Each day I spent 2 hours slicing and seeding peppers by hand for the first two or three days. These carefully crafted slices went into pickled jalapeños. Of course, I wore gloves to protect my skin from the spicy juices but my hands and wrists started to get a little worn out by Day 3. I pulled out my little Pampered Chef food processor and started blending away at the buckets of peppers, but didn’t make much headway because of the blender’s small capacity. Plus, I had moved on to trying a second new recipe. This time I was attempting to make jalapeño relish, and we weren’t too sure if we would like it or use it much. (*We did like it. ** We used it a lot.)
Hubby asked why I didn’t have a bigger blender. I told him because Santa hadn’t brought it yet. Well, Santa came in August with a fancyshmancy, BIG blender. It was going to be perfect for peppers, zucchini, slaw, all the things…. but it was really BIG. The jalapenos were plentiful but petite. This is when we really had to shake things up with how we sliced our peppers.
We all know about the proverbial plates in our lives. Plates that are always full of responsibilities, expectations, and commitments. With Thanksgiving tomorrow, I guess our proverbial and physical plates are about to be or have been overflowing with good stuff, stressful stuff, and stuff we really don’t need.
This morning was jam-packed with rushing to try to make all my plans fit into a time frame that probably wasn’t feasible. The harder I tried and the faster I rushed, the fuller I felt with frustration.
I heard a voice ask what I was “so darn upset about.”(It may have sounded like my husband.) I wasn’t sure why I had tears in my eyes and a burning at the back of my throat that only happens when I cry. I guess it felt like crying would take away some of what was weighing on me. But crying wasn’t going to help anything, and it sure wasn’t going to clear my proverbial plate from all my commitments.
When I was collecting ideas for my post on the Monster Hissy Fit, my friend Angela told me about a time when her daughter Brielle melted down and held up the queue for a zipline ride. The story of that zipline experience inspired its own post.
As many rides do, the Pumpkin Patch zipline required riders to be a certain height and weight and to wear a safety helmet. Brielle has wonderfully thick, dark hair. She always wears it in a high ponytail. The safety helmet for the zipline required her to lower the ponytail. Brielle was not agreeable to this stipulation and refused to let Angela redo her hair.
The line was growing longer, the ponytail was not fitting tightly in the helmet, and the operators of the ride were not willing to let her go without the helmet fitting snuggly. Angela did what any rational mother would do in this situation.
She shoved the helmet over the ponytail, pushed her daughter off the platform, and let the ride operators know she took responsibility for her daughter’s safety and the loose helmet.
After experiencing the exhilaration of the zipline, Brielle came running from the ride, face flushed back to Angela, and she cried in disbelief, “You pushed me!”
Her obstinate girl got what she wanted, but she did not appreciate Angela’s push.
Have you ever been pushed into something you weren’t ready for?
Intentergy 