The Adhesive Power of Guilt

The Adhesive Power of Guilt

Guilt Glue

Guilt is sticky. Guilt is a sin. It is a nagging, draining, power-sucking sin. We are not intended to feel guilt by nature, but our human condition allows us to attach guilt to our hearts and minds.

I am the worst when it comes to feeling guilty. I will let the slightest mishap or slip of the tongue weigh me down like a 2-ton anchor. I am not sure why I am so attractive to guilt, other than the fact that I am so desperate to always do the best job possible. The realization is starting to sink in that my definition of “best job possible” sometimes equates to a job that is “not really possible.” I need to get better at letting go. We are all a work-in-progress.

I’ve been working hard to wash away the residue left from past guilt and have found that it makes living a lot easier. My desire to avoid the attraction to guilt has made it easier to notice the way it clings to others. It hurts me to see when those I love let guilt hold them back in their relationships. Guilt stinks!

Guilt is a real drag. Like a ball and chain kind of drag. That is why I say guilt has adhesive powers. Once you feel guilt for one thing, all the other possibilities come rushing in and stick to you, like a piece of old toilet paper on the back of your shoe. Sometimes you don’t even know it’s there. The worst part is that guilt has an especially power grip on those who fall prey to its burden. Continue reading “The Adhesive Power of Guilt”

Mama Catches Happiness

Mama Catches Happiness

Mamas Catch.jpg

After I caught this crappie at Truman Lake, my husband told my kids, “Now Mama is happy.”

I made them take my picture. I was proud of my catch and I wanted my kids to see my pride.

Heavy storms with lots of thunder and lightening blew through two of the three nights we were at the lake. The storm fronts seemed to have scared off the fish because we only caught about 15 fish the entire trip. My contributions to the fishing came in the form of this and one other fish caught, keeping the boys from falling in the water, and having minnows ready to bait my daughter’s hook. I just happened to catch this guy during one of the quieter moments of our excursion. I fished with my youngest son on my lap so he could “catch” one too, but he couldn’t stand the wait so we never snagged one for him.

Fishing with my kids is stressful and scary for me. I am afraid of water.

Water has frightened me since I was a teenager. As a camp counselor, I had to rescue two girls after they tipped over their canoe in a deep and restricted part of the camp lake. A year later I had to provide first aid to a man who sustained a head injury at a local water slide when he flipped off the mat (on which he was supposed to remain seated). People who are not afraid of water get hurt. I am afraid of water.

On our fishing trip, safety precautions were my number one concern. Appropriately fitting life jackets, secured seats, swimming lesson reminders, and safety whistles were all in place.  The waters were calm and my always zen husband sat confidently as he drove the boat. I clutched my youngest son for dear life. Continue reading “Mama Catches Happiness”

Burst Your Own Bubble – July Positivity Challenge

Burst Your Own Bubble – July Positivity Challenge

 

Burst Your Own Bubble.png

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Intentergy’s July Positivity Challenge is to burst your own bubbles of insecurity or fear. Send those inhibitions flying. Burst the barriers that hold you back from being happy with yourself or your life.

Here are a few things to try:

png 1 Get your bubbles in a row

  • Make a list of the things that hold you back from participating in social or professional functions or that leave you frustrated with yourself
  • Identify what events or things cause the greatest anxiety for you
  • Create a picture or chart of the stressors that rule your thoughts or constantly hang in the back of your mind

png 1 Be a Bubble Brain

  • Have a willingness to change your mind. When you are ready to stop dedicating your brain power to those fears, your brain will become too slippery for those thoughts to hold on; they will wash themselves away.
  • Address the things you listed or drew when you were getting your bubbles in a row. Short of death, what can you do to get past those big, bad bubbles?
  • Devise a plan that will help you get past those insecurities. Start with the little worries or hang ups and work your way to dispelling the bigger hindrances harbored in your heart. For example, start with your fear of trying new foods before your fear of flying. Order something new from the menu of your favorite restaurant before you tackle your fear of air planes by sky diving.
  • Ask for help. There are many resources out there. Friends, family, counselors, good books, websites (like http://www.intentergy.com), and health care professionals are ready and waiting to blow away those bubbly barriers with you.

png 1 Let the wind carry it all away

  • Once you have turned away an inhibition, let it go. Forgive yourself for the fear or reservations. You are always a work in progress. You will never forget the growth you experienced getting past that problem, but you can forget to let it have power over you again.
  • When those bubbly burdens pop back up, breeze right on past them. Remember you popped that bubble. It can’t trap you anymore.

png 1 Be a Bubble-Busting Bad Ass

  • Keep that list of fears and inhibitions handy. After the first problem is popped, move on to the next. Only you can stop yourself. They are just bubbles after all.
  • Facing your fears makes you tougher. Once you have busted that first bubble, go for the second. The sky is the limit.
  • Yes, some bubbles are going to be harder to wreak havoc on than others, but you’ve got this. You are a Bubble-Busting Bad Ass.

After you have kissed any bubble of doubt good-bye, you can expect to feel or see:

png 1 A Victory Dance

  • After breaking past those bad feelings, bust a move! Give yourself time and energy to feel good about what you have accomplished. My favorite victory dance takes form in the eating a Hershey’s chocolate bar. 🙂

png 1 Bubbles can come back

  • The bubbles will be back. Remember, you busted past that bad boy. It isn’t your barrier anymore. You are a Bubble-Busting Bad Ass.

png 1 New bubbles may pop up

  • When a new fear or insecurity flies at you, take aim at what you need to do to get past it. You have conquered other fears and doubts, the new ones are no different. Do not let them hold you back or cage you in. Forgive yourself when you feel like your fears have won. You are always a work in progress. Just keep poppin’ away.

Put your energy into blowing away the insecurities that float your direction. When it comes to shooting down those shortcomings, put positivity into your intent and your nervousness and worries can’t help but to simply dissolve away.

By: Melanie A. Peters