Tag Listen for the Pain of Others

Sadly Easy to Forget

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My brave, talented friend Heather has decided to pursue a new career by going back to school to become a massage therapist and esthetician. Because I am such a good friend, I booked an appointment for a massage and facial to help Heather earn her service hours. (My booking had nothing to do with a selfish desire for a massage.)

During my massage, Heather and I talked about how important it is to take care of ourselves, but how often we fail to do so. When she massaged my shin, I said, “Oh my goodness! That hurts. I forgot it was so sore.”

In a very sympathetic voice, Heather said, “Sadly we hurt for so long sometimes that we forget about it and accept the pain as part of our day.”

Wow! That hit my heart.

We do allow ourselves to become dulled to physical and emotional pain in many situations and it is sad.

When my son was two, he suffered from frequent ear infections. When the doctor finally decided it was time for tubes in his ears, we were relieved. Hopefully, our boy would be freed from his ear pain.

Following the surgery, we started to notice him talking more and becoming increasingly verbal. It was not until we took him out to see our cows that we realized how much he was missing out on before the tubes.

Our boy LOVED the cows. He would moo loudly every time he saw a cow along the road or at the farm, but this time, when the cows started bawling, he covered his ears and cried because they were so loud. He had never heard them moo at true volume because his ears had been so congested. We never knew what he was missing out on and forgot the limitations that his blocked ears created.

Is there a pain in your life that you have accepted as something to ignore or forget?

There are many sources out there for helping heal from physical injury or past emotional abuse, but I thought it would be helpful to share a source on how to let go of the past. These lessons can be applied to physical and emotional pain in lots of ways.

According to “How to Let Go of the Past: 8 Ways to Move On,” there are eight basic ways to seek out relief from pain.

1. Question your comfort zone.
2. Let it out.
3. Take accountability.
4. Make space for the new.
5. Prioritize yourself.
6. Focus on the lessons.
7. Accept what you can’t change.
8. Seek help.

I won’t go into detail with each of these steps, but I can tell you there is relief ready to be found with releasing the aches that you let go on for too long. I love the idea of finding your comfort zone first because if you are too comfortable with accepting what hurts you, you will never make the changes necessary for it to go away. I also appreciate the step where we are challenged to prioritize ourselves. It goes back to when Heather and I discussed how easy it is to let our self-care go by the wayside. We need to relocate our priorities and find ways to identify why we hurt and make healing those pains a priority. Here is a link to the full article from psychcentral.com.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-and-hurt

I challenge you to think about a physical ache or a hurtful memory that has worn you down into forgetting the source of the pain. Put energy into healing that hurt, focus on what that pain has taught you, and seek the help you need to correct your problem or build the skills to be pain-free. Don’t let the ease of accepting a painful situation, because you just don’t want to think about it, be the frame of mind that you find yourself in each day. Put purpose in remembering what it is to feel good and forget about allowing yourself to feel bad.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. Be selfish get yourself a massage or facial. I know a great gal to call.

Works Cited

“How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On.” Psych Central, 29 Aug. 2022, psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-and-hurt.

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Recognizing There is a Hole

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Have you ever been down and gotten lucky enough for someone to recognize that you needed a lift?

Recently, Hubby discovered a calf that was stuck in a hole. He rescued the poor guy from a situation where the calf couldn’t see a way out.

The crazy thing about Hubby finding this calf was that if he hadn’t paid attention to the entire herd, he would not have noticed the mama cow off by herself. Hubby knew she had a calf and it was odd for her to be alone.

When he sought out the cow, he discovered the hole AND the problem.

Walking through the field the fallen calf could not be seen. It was not until Hubby investigated the lonely mama’s situation that he recognized the cause of her duress hidden by the tall grass around the hole.

(The orange arrow marks the calf’s location.)

Because he took the time to see what was wrong, Hubby was able to lift the calf from the hole and reunite the mama with her baby. He found a way to relieve their stress and help resolve their problem.

How are you at recognizing there is a hole in someone’s day?

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The Cost of Frugality

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When I was a kid, one of the most exciting parts of going back to school was new “school” shoes. In keeping that tradition alive, I always make a big deal about new shoes for my kiddos when shopping for school supplies. This year was no different, except for the fact that my 13-year-old refused to get new sneakers. His feet had outgrown every pair of shoes he owned, but it did not matter. He refused to even look at a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, my son is a sneaker-head. He LOVES shoes, particularly basketball and baseball footwear.

When I asked him why he didn’t want new shoes, he said, “I’m saving you and Dad money.”

I then asked, “If I don’t buy you new school shoes, do you believe I won’t make you go back to school?”

He gave me a sly grin and said, “Maybe.”

He is ridiculous. His ankles were hurting. Due to the holes in his shoes, his toes had experienced multiple traumas. He complained of his knees aching. Never did he realize that it might have had something to do with his tragic choice of footwear.

Continue reading “The Cost of Frugality” →

The Discipline to Want the Most – Wise Words Wednesday

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Discipline – the classic struggle between what we want right now and what we want most.

Abraham Lincoln was an expert on making tough choices based on what he wanted most. He built a career and defined a nation by working for what he knew was necessary to unite our peoples and continue to establish America as a world power. After all how could a nation divided be the most powerful country in the world?

Discipline is something that many feel is a violation of their rights. They believe that if they want to do something, go somewhere, buy something, or say anything, it’s not “fair” to have to work for it or take into consideration the impacts their impulses will have on the big picture for their lives and what they want beyond that moment in time. The demand for instant gratification and knee-jerk reactions to the work and words of others has cast an ugly shadow over what we really need and want as a society.

Continue reading “The Discipline to Want the Most – Wise Words Wednesday” →

Sometimes We Just Don’t Have the Words

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No Words

In tough situations we often find ourselves unable to come up with the right words to say. That inability makes handling the circumstances even tougher. Here’s the good news: sometimes nothing needs to be said.

Just showing up and offering to listen or hug those hurting in the situation can be the most perfect proclamation. A simple squeeze of the hand or a covered dish for supper can sound like the kindest statements. Handing someone a tissue or taking over childcare duties is a true testament to your support and understanding for the suffering they are enduring. Sometimes we just don’t have the words, but we do always have the ability to make things happen and ease pain of the circumstances.

When my grandfather died, I was unable to attend the funeral because I had just endured a major surgery. My aunt came and sat with me the day of his funeral and said nothing. She simply hugged me, made lunch, did the dishes, and took care of the laundry. She knew I didn’t could speak of my grief yet and understood that sometimes it isn’t the words that make us feel better.

Sometimes we just don’t have the words.

Last night I attended the visitation of a man I had never met. I attended because two of his daughters (Mary Kay and Tina) are friends of mine. As I approached the front of the line, I wondered (as most do): what can I say that will help? Continue reading “Sometimes We Just Don’t Have the Words” →

Who is bawling?

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Who is bawling?

via Daily Prompt: Panic

When Baby Calls.JPG

Even though humans have a hard time telling which calf belongs to what cow, those mama cows know their babies. Their cries are distinctive.

This mama had been grazing calmly and slowly, making her way across the pasture, when the first cry of a calf near the woods rang out. She stopped, lifted her head, and gazed in the direction of the cry.

After a few more pleading sounds were heard, she put her head back down and went back to foraging for the best grass. Off in the distance, you could hear the desperate call of another mama. That call was no different to me from any other cow, but I guarantee that crying calf knew who was making that racket.

A short time later both moos stopped, and I was assured that the lost calf had found its mother.

We, human parents, are no different. When our child laughs or cries on the playground, we know who it is that made those sounds. I can tell exactly which of my children is in the snack cabinet by the noises that come from the kitchen. I know which of my kiddos has just come into the house by the sound of their steps and how the door shuts (or slams in some cases). Our ears are trained to know when our loved ones are calling out for us. It is a very sensitive thing. Continue reading “Who is bawling?” →