Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a parent who is inundated with the behaviors and requests of their children? It’s like trying to locate the queen bee in a hive of crazy. Nobody is concerned about or can comprehend what’s being said, focus is going in a million directions, and the constant buzz is enough to drive everyone in and outside of the hive crazy.
This past weekend I witnessed my friend, Jamie, at the heart of her own wild hive. We were hanging out at a friend’s shop, and for some unknown-to-our-children reason trying to have a conversation.
While Jamie balanced her son on one leg, her daughter traipsed passed walking her baby doll by the hair. Without warning, the baby doll leapt onto Jamie’s vacant leg and began marching up her arm and then rested on her head. Shortly there after, Jamie’s husband asked her about something he couldn’t remember, and she replied calmly with whatever he needed to know. Barely skipping a beat, Jamie continued on with our conversation. After finishing her sentence to me, she politely asked her daughter to take the doll to play somewhere else. Her daughter’s response, “But I need you to be my jungle gym.”
Well, there you had it.
Jamie was needed.
She was a comfy place to sit for her son, reference library for her husband, an apparatus for her daughter’s baby doll activities, and a hub of conversation for me.
Fifth Grade homework can be tough. Last week my son’s computer teacher assigned an “About Me” Google Slides presentation. Each slide had a theme and criteria for creation. Of course, there were the “My Family” and “Favorite Hobby” slides, but the one slide that stuck out to me on the rubric was, “Favorite Scripture Verse.”
While this is my son’s sixth year attending a Catholic school, and we attend church every week, I wasn’t sure my son knew any particular Bible verse, much less which is his favorite.
While making dinner, switching laundry, and helping with other homework, I left him to work on the presentation, and waited for his cry for help.
As expected, his call for “Mom” rang out when he hit the scripture slide. His plea was followed by a demanding, “I need the Bible.” (Insert sarcastic Mom statement about needing more than just the Bible in his life, followed by son’s annoyed eye roll.)
After taking a deep breath and mentally preparing for a meltdown, I asked if he knew any Bible verses that he liked.
To my Biblical surprise, he responded with, “Duh, Mom, I know it’s in Exodus; I just don’t know the exact number.”
Exodus?!? That seemed like an unusual place to select a favorite verse, but who am I to question divine inspiration.
My 10-year-old proceeded to tell me that his favorite verse is when Moses parted the sea allowing the Israelites to flee Egypt unharmed. This is a very powerful scene, but I wasn’t sure what made it inspiring to him. At the risk of being slaughtered by yet another violent eye roll, I asked what it was about the parting of the sea that stood out.
Happy Monday, everyone! In this week’s Monday’s Message, I just want to express thanks for everyone who read, commented, and sent kind thoughts our way after publishing The Colors of Change. Your support and faith for good things to come is greatly appreciated.
I’m excited to say that this week’s Wise Words Wednesday was inspired by my son’s homework for computer class and his surprising knowledge of Bible verses. Please be sure to check it out and hopefully find some peace and inspiration for yourself.
Additional inspiration was provided by my friend Jamie and her daughter Kate this weekend. So be sure to check out my post Friday on “….and All the Other Things.” If you struggle with the demands of being called to fill too many rolls, this post is for you.
As we are fully immersed in the holiday season, be sure to give yourself the gifts of grace and time. Know that you are not perfect, and that’s okay. You deserve time to be healthy, happy, and dedicate room for planning and coping with all that comes your way this time of year.
If you want to check one gift off your list, be sure to give the gift of Intentergy and put some positive purpose and energy into someone’s day.
At family gatherings, does your family segregate meals dividing its members between the “kiddie” table and the “grown-ups table”?
If your family does, this is a post for you.
If your family doesn’t, this is still a post for you because we could all use some blessings sent with good intentions (even if they didn’t start that way).
Dating back farther than my memory serves, my mother’s family has hosted all of its meals with separate tables for children and adults. As our legs and attitudes grew, my cousins and I lamented the fact that we were forced to dine at the “kiddie” table. My grandmother used to always tell us to be grateful because at least we weren’t like “the Dooley’s down the road.” Grandma would continue on with the story that the sweet Dooley family had ten (10) children and not enough chairs, so at meals they had to sit on the floor.
My grandmother also maintained the practice of saying, “And all for baby Jesus,” at the end of every meal prayer.
As a teenager, I maintained the practice of being a pain in my grandmother’s rear.
At one holiday meal where I feeling particularly disgruntled at my “kiddie table” status, (I’m sad to say I don’t remember the holiday or year), I followed up my grandmother’s closing blessing, “And all for baby Jesus,” with, “And God bless the Dooley’s. May they all have chairs to sit on.”
Since my jump start back into blogging, I’ve heard from a couple of folks who are excited to see me writing again and a few who are eager to share ideas for content. One of my sweet neighbors asked why I quit doing my Monday videos. My response, “I guess life happened.” This Monday’s Message is for you, neighbor!
In my video I spoke about struggling with the feelings of overwhelm and how to make our life journey more enjoyable. There are lots of solutions and people to support us. We just have to find what works best for us as individuals.
At the start of every month, I make a menu planner for my family’s meals, update my phone and wall calendars, and have a heart filled with optimism for a productive 30 days.
At the end of every month, I wonder where the hell time went and am so grateful I planned all those meals. I am not always able to stick to the meal plan but usually have the ingredients that allow flexibility in feeding our masses without repeats of frozen pizza and cereal too often.
Meal planning is just one way I keep myself sane, but the there are lots of easy solutions out there. Today’s Monday Message is all about riding the struggle bus and attempts to keep it together in simple ways.
Making lists is my #1 method for maintaining the madness of life.
The one thing I’ve learned about my lists though is that I can’t put too much on them or I get lost in the listing and fail to follow through the with the doing. If you are getting started on your holiday planning, give yourself 4 or 5 tasks to kick things off, as soon as they are tackled, assign some more awesome jobs to get a jump on. (You can always use my friend Lori’s theory of “One Thing Done”; she starts every list with one thing she has already accomplished and marks it off. That way she always starts with success.)
Another simple solution for flexibility and fulfillment is to keep basic dinner or gift-giving supplies on hand. I always keep goods for making stroganoff, spaghetti, or a soup in my pantry. This makes for easy dinner prep and meals to scarf down when we have to scamper to afterschool or evening events.
As for the gift giving essentials, you can never go wrong with:
a gift card to Target, Walmart, or a local store/restaurant (many schools sell gift cards as fundraisers; you can support schools and keep one or two on hand at the same time)
blank greeting cards
a few craft paper gift bags and white tissue paper
a couple essential items to give as gifts (i.e. coffee cup, water bottle, hand towel, umbrella, drawstring gym bag, etc.)
Sometimes you need a gift of cheer and others you simply run out of time before a special occasion. People can always use practical things, so stock up on cool utilitarian stuff when you can.
As always, thanks for taking time to make Intentergy a part of your day. Hopefully, these posts continue to put energy with positive purpose into your day.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Let me know if you ever need help with your struggle bus.
P.P.S. Let me know if you have any post ideas! I’m making my list for upcoming stories.
November Bloggers BeLOnG – Monday, November 8th at Missouri River Regional Library 6:30-7:30 PM CST
If you are a blogger, or have considered blogging, sign up to join us for this free session!
As I listen to my children bicker and fight over a kickball game in our basement, I am frustrated by the unkind words they use and the mean way they pick apart one another’s attempts to kick, run, and throw. It hurts me to hear them use such forceful language when it’s supposed to be a fun game.
What I have to remind myself is that their play is a way to learn the basics of the game, how to handle conflict, and ways to work with others while being competitive. Those viscous kickball games are growing opportunities for turning thrown stones into bridges for better play and successful communication in the future. (That doesn’t make their taunting any easier to hear though.)
Unfortunately, my kiddos’ emotional “rock collecting” has not been limited to the jabs and insults of their siblings. My children (like all kids) have come home with hurt in their eyes and frustration in their hearts from things said and done at school and sports practices. Seeing my kids hurt by the words and actions of others is probably the hardest part of being a parent. These challenges have forced me to dig deep into my repertoire of comfort and advice, but also add to the School of Hard Knocks’ curriculum as my children earn their diplomas in adolescence.
“When people throw rocks, you can either build walls or bridges. Be a bridge builder” – Lynda Mullaly Hunt
All too often I’ve heard that if you pray for patience the Lord will test it. I take pride in the patience I feel towards children, animals, and tedious tasks. I’m not always so patient with laziness, meanness, and ignorance.
Lately, I have witnessed laziness and unkindness in amounts exceeding my limits. In spite, of my prayers for peace, grace, and patience, the will to tolerate such selfish behavior has had me thinking about an alternative intent for my prayers.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still asking the Lord to help the flawed human race find peace, generosity, and compassion, but every once in a while, I want to pray “The Pissy Prayer.”
Now this isn’t a prayer sanctioned by any church or liturgical governing body, but it is one that I think a lot of us could benefit from. (I made “The Pissy Prayer” up myself.)
“The Pissy Prayer“ By Melanie A. Peters
Dear Lord,
Grant me permission to be pissy about insignificant things that others blow way out of proportion.
Grant me fussiness when friends and family fail to recognize and appreciate all the blessings you have bestowed upon them.
In your most holy name, I ask that you help me through this hissy fit and guide me as I lose my good and capable mind over whatever has worked its way into my heart.
But most of all, Lord, grant forgiveness for my imperfections, because that’s what I need to feel and demonstrate in this most imperfect world.
If the smell of sunscreen is making you nauseous and your flip-flops have blown out beyond repair, don’t worry. You are not alone. I don’t know about you, but once August rolls around, I feel all summer sizzled out. In fact, I am probably a poster child for the Summer Fizzled Out Federation(Not sure that’s a thing, but it should be). It’s been weeks since I’ve posted. Proof positive that my summer craziness has led to a depletion in my ability to put thoughts into words and words into posts. (I just took me 7 tries to type that sentence.)
After three months of working cattle, baling hay, raising fair hogs, coaching baseball, squeezing in doctor appointments, making Bar-b-ques, planning playdates, watering plants, and applying sunscreen, I’m feeling about as withered as the last of my tomato plants. When I talk to other people about how their summer is going, they all seem to voice the same end-of-summer exhaustion.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say they are ready for their kids to go back to school. Those dollars would add up to enough money for an end-of-summer vacation for my family. If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said they don’t want to go back to school, I would have money for a vacation to Europe and a new car.
Why is it that once we’ve successfully navigated swimming lessons, baseball bleacher-butt, sun burns, mosquito bite madness, garden vegetables coming out of our ears, and lawn mowing lunacy that we have the desire to move away from summer and all its Go-Go-Go glory?
It’s because the fizzle of summer’s sizzle has begun, and that’s okay.
On a recent visit, my three-year-old nephew Henry asked, “What’s there on your face?”
It took me a minute, but I realized he was asking about the worry-lines between my eyebrows (wrinkles). I smiled and said, “Those are just my wrinkles. Look I have more when I smile” and pointed at the crow’s feet formed on the side of my eyes.
Henry and I snuggling and hoping to wake some of his freckles.
The next day Henry asked why I had those spots on my face and arms. I told him they were my freckles… spots where the sun kissed my skin. He looked innocently at his arms and said, “My freckles are still sleeping.”
While his noticing my wrinkles made me a little sad, his discovery of my freckles and statement about his sleeping spots was super sweet and made me think about the freckles, wrinkles, and other characteristics that appear with time.
I know we can all relate to our adolescent desires to be taller, fuller, thinner, or whatever-er, but once we are doing the adulthood thing, how often do we give ourselves credit for the features that are no longer “sleeping”? Or how do we celebrate the differences between people? Do we point out the idiosyncrasies of other’s appearance in positive or appreciative ways?
Without fail each flock we receive is full of attack turkeys. From day one, they come at you with fluffy wings spread and tiny beaks blaring battle chirps. The little guys in the video had been attacking my feet for a while before I finally thought to capture their assault on video. They might have been little but were definitely mighty.
Have you ever felt like you were up against something so huge it could never be toppled, but you went after it anyway?
It always helps to have someone with you no matter what you face. We may not always be surrounded by our flock of friends and family, but hopefully, we are continually reassured of the fact that we are not alone. Thanks to cards, phone calls, text messages, emails, and kind acts we can all show and know that there are others here for us in tough times.
Whatever we’re up against, it’s healthy to know that we can peck away at problems with the support and insights of our peers. As my family has faced some pretty scary health issues this past month, I cannot tell you how empowering it has been to witness the willingness of others to step up, do what they can, and provide support in all kinds of wonderful ways. From funny text messages, to food drop offs, and personal calls to health care providers, we have been flooded with folks willing to help conquer the beast that has consumed our focus and created much fear.
Cancer has proven to be a nasty illness that comes in more shapes and sizes than we can imagine, but if we continue to wage our war on its ravages, I have faith that we can find ways to wipe it out. We might feel like those tiny poults attacking the boots of a big bad monster, but if we work to do all the things that make us bigger, smarter, and stronger, I’m certain that we won’t be the underdogs forever.
The Intentergy challenge for today is to remember you are one of the mighty. The mighty ones who can bring hope and support to those feeling hopeless. You are one of the powerful people who provide joy, nourishment, and opportunity to those who need a boost. Your energy is what can lead the charge when something has gone very wrong or when others are feeling lost. If you happen to be lost, keep your head up, and don’t be afraid to call out to those who can rally around you.
It doesn’t matter what we’re up against, we have the ability to be bigger than our set backs and stronger than our fears.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. There were about 9,000 attack turkeys coming at me in that video. I am fearless.
Intentergy 