Category Parenting

Whatever Blows Your Bubble

Intentergy 13 Comments

Whatever Blows Your Bubble

Whatever Blows Your Bubble

Walking through the home improvement store this morning, my son and I passed two ladies discussing what flowers one of them should plant in her flower bed. When the first lady had made her choice, the second lady commented, “Whatever Blows Your Bubble.”

My son laughed. I was inspired.

Frequently I have heard, “Whatever floats your boat,” or, “Whatever suits your fancy,” but I don’t remember ever hearing, “Whatever Blows Your Bubble.”

It was a gorgeous spring day. I had the privilege of having a “Mommy Day” with my six year old and I accomplished a great many things on my to-do list. My happiness bubble was feeling quite full.

When I was five, I remember learning how to blow a bubble and how the excitement grew as the bubbles got bigger. (I also remember peeling bubble gum out of my hair, but that is for another post.) Blowing bubbles was one of those things the “big kids” did, and, when I could finally blow a bubble, I felt like I was something special. Continue reading “Whatever Blows Your Bubble” →

Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday

Intentergy 3 Comments

Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday

Misunderstanding the Distance

Misunderstanding creates painful separation. The most painful part of that separation comes from the fact that it could have been prevented if communication had been clear.

Misunderstanding is bred from hastiness or failure to fully witness what is being shared.

Recently, a student submitted the wrong document for his assignment. I entered a zero in the grade book, wrote a comment for him to send the correct assignment to me (so that I could give points for his actual paper), and emailed him a message about the assignment. He did not come to our next class. He did not respond to my email. Two days later he replied to my comment in our online grading program, “What was the problem with my work? I turned it in. What do you want?”

Clearly, he was angry because he did not understand what the problem was. I replied by copying and pasting my original message and a smiley face.

He never replied. At our next class, he was present and said that I had not explained the assignment. I pulled out the sample document I gave the class, showed the page in the text with the sample we shared, and redirected him to the PowerPoint with the notes and assignment that was shown in class. His response, “Oh, I forgot.”

I was hurt that he accused me of not providing enough information to foster understanding. Never would I want to provide a lesson that created misunderstanding. That is the worst distance between student and teacher. Continue reading “Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday” →

Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday

Intentergy 2 Comments

Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday via Daily Prompt: Instinct

The Right Instinct

I have learned a lot in my life from Lady O.

  1. Wear pretty underwear when you are feeling ugly. (A lesson learned on a sick day watching Oprah Winfrey Show when I was in high school)

    Oprah

    Photo credit: Google Images

  2. Multitasking is hard on our brains. We must condition our brains to identify priorities. (Another Oprah Winfrey Show tidbit)
  3. Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, is a master of literature. (Because of this lesson, I have taught Walker’s story “Everyday Use” for the last 10 years.)
  4. “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. That is the lesson, and that lesson alone will save you a lot of grief.”

 

Recently I read a post on stranger danger and how children’s discomfort around adults, even familiar adults, should be respected and acknowledged. There is something to this discontent that we should regard.

When someone unfamiliar calls you and their tone sets off alarm bells in the back of your brain, it is okay to put your responses on hold until they have established themselves as someone who is trustworthy.

Great deals or special values are not always so “special.” If you believe a “deal” to be too good to be true. Your honesty meter is going off and you should probably step away from the “deal” until you can find the real value in it.

Many of life’s opportunities require us to go with our gut. Letting our instincts inspire us is integral to making life changing choices.  Continue reading “Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday” →

Choices for Broken Bones

Intentergy 8 Comments

Choices for Broken Bones

Broken Bone Choices

When my daughter broke her arm, it was definitely NOT fun, but we had to find ways that encouraged her to choose positive purpose as she healed. Choosing her cast color was only the beginning of the fun we have tried to provide.

 

Facing set backs (like a broken arm) is tough to do.

Broken bones offer us choices.

We can choose to let our child or ourselves hurt physically and be emotionally sad or we can break away from the gloom and provide positive, healing choices.

png 1 One of the first things I did when we learned her arm was broken was to call our family members. It was important for my little girl to know that she had her family there to support her.

If you are suffering from a broken bone, a broken heart, or a shattered dream, surround yourself with those who care for you. Reach out to your support system. That is what they are there for! Continue reading “Choices for Broken Bones” →

A Survey of Self – March Positivity Challenge

Intentergy 2 Comments

A Survey of Self

survey-says

Lent began on March 1st. Lent is the 40 days and 40 nights leading up to Easter. During Lent sacrifices are made or special intents are set to show our appreciation for the sacrifices Jesus made for us.

Lent is also a time of self-reflection and hope. Our efforts in this time are intended to bring us closer to God. For some it is a time to improve on their relationship with themselves, family, friends, or coworkers as well.

For the month on March, I challenge you to do a Survey of Self.

This survey requires you to look at three aspects of your life and dedicate energy and intent to improving or strengthening the areas that need rejuvenation.

png 1 Health

  • How do you feel when you get up in the morning?
  • How do you feel when you go to bed at night?
  • Do the foods you eat make you feel nourished or are they consumed for comfort?
  • Do you drink enough water?
  • Do you get enough sunshine?
  • Do you get enough fresh air?
  • Do you practice good hygiene? Wash hands regularly? Brush teeth often?

These are all simple questions that can have simple solutions. Carry a water bottle to ensure hydration. Setting a bed time and sticking to it will help with better quality rest. Walking to the mail box to get the mail, instead of reaching out the car window to retrieve your letters, will give you exercise, fresh air, and maybe even some sunshine. Pick up a new type of shampoo or soap; this will make bath time something you look forward to and will make you feel happy when you smell the scent of your new purchase. Eating a salad or fresh fruit instead of a prepackaged lunch or donut will keep away those late day sugar crashes.

png 1 Relationships

  • Do you walk away from someone in your life feeling exhausted?
  • Do you question why someone in your life even spends time with you or vice versa?
  • Do you have someone in your life who leaves you feeling uncomfortable or afraid?
  • Do you feel like you are constantly letting a particular person in your life down?
  • Do you question your dedication to a group or cause to whom you belong?
  • Do you wish there was more time to spend with certain people in your life?
  • Is there someone you know could use more of your time and attention?
  • Is there someone you wish you knew more about?
  • Do you feel alone often? Does your loneliness come after being with or without someone?

Ask yourself these questions. Once you have had time to reflect on the questions that bother you the most, you are ready to take steps to strengthen your relationship skills.

For loneliness or shyness, make goals to greet or meet people or adopt new, healthy hobbies or practices that will provide chances to meet others.

For fearful or anxiety producing relationships, the healthiest thing to do is to either address your concerns with the other person or (for safety reasons) move on. Life is too short and too precious to live in fear.

If you are not feeling a strong connection to something that has been a part of your life for a long time (such as church family, circle of friends, or your actual family), try to find a fresh approach or a new circle within that organization to associate yourself. Sometimes approaching it from a different angle opens up new doors and better relationships.

If a relationship feels tired, go for some a tough question talk, like “What came first the chicken or the egg?” or “Why do you think the sky is blue?”  or “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Crazy, I know! But maybe your line of age-old questions will open up a fresh conversation and give your relationship a much needed boost. Another great trick is to go on a trip down memory lane. Bringing up positive and pleasant memories encourages the making of new ones.

png 1 Faith

  • Do you believe in something beyond yourself?
  • Do you believe there is good in everyone?
  • Do you believe in the power of hope?
  • Do you believe in the power of love?
  • Do you believe in yourself?

Ask yourself what you believe. Ask others what they believe. Define what it is that makes you have those beliefs and discover what has led to the beliefs of those you care about. To create greater faith in yourself and those you love, you must have understanding. Do historical, psychological, or theological research. Find answers to your faith questions. Sometimes those answers lead to more questions, but that’s okay. The more we know; the more we grow.

Confidence in your faith and knowledge can lead to the best faith of all: faith in yourself.

Happy surveying,
Melanie A. Peters

P.S. On the note of learning and growing, I am working to improve Intentergy. It has been over a year since I began publishing my blog and I am so proud of how it has developed. Please take time to complete this 5 question survey about http://www.intentergy.com. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated and will provide a learning opportunity for me.
Thank you for being my teacher!

Improving Intentergy Survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/87HQQXC

How can I ask if I didn’t know?

Intentergy 3 Comments

How can I ask if I didn’t know?

how-can-i-ask

Recently, hubby and I had a heated “discussion” about my belief that I had to physically drive to the bank to pay the truck payment. My belief goes back almost 20 years.

In 1998 my mother co-signed a loan to purchase a new car for me. When we left the bank, the loan agent told me, “Each month just bring in your payment and the loan book. We will tear out a receipt for each payment.” After that I just always took my payment book to the bank.

As our “discussion” wound down, my husband said, “If you don’t know something, just ask.”

How was I supposed to ask, if I didn’t know that I didn’t know it???? Continue reading “How can I ask if I didn’t know?” →

Simple Solutions

Intentergy 2 Comments

Simple Solutions

simple-solutions

Everywhere in society, we have to provide our autographs for signature pads like the one in the photo. The difference between this signature pad and most other signature pads is that this one proudly displays the use of a simple solution.

Recently I wrote about my family’s obsession with adhesives, so the fact that this simple solution was generated by using transparent tape adds to my love of sticky stuff, but really fuels my excitement for simple solutions.

“What’s the big deal about that transparent tape with an X and a line?” you ask.

What’s the big deal?!?

That line shows you where to write your name when you don’t know where to sign.

“Okay,” you say, “So what’t the big deal?”

The big deal is we are forced to make thousands of decisions everyday.

Some of those decisions we can do without much thought, but when you are asked to sign because you are seeking medical attention for your child, and you are freaking out about what the doctor might say, you need an X  with a line next to it so you know where to sign your name. It’s a big deal!

Once we got past the awesome signature pad and the terrific pediatric ENT, I was able to take a deep breath, (probably would have known where to sign without the handy X and line), and reflect on the simplicity of the doctor’s advice and that miraculous signature pad.  Continue reading “Simple Solutions” →

I Can’t Even Put My Watch on Right

Intentergy 1 Comment

I Can’t Even Put My Watch on Right

on-my-own-time

At least twice a week, I will throw on my watch, only to find that it is upside down when I need it.

At least once a month, my watch will show the wrong date. I can’t seem to get the stupid, upside down time piece to catch up with me.

At least half a dozen times a week, I walk into a room and forget why I was there.

At least a dozen times a week, I call one  of my children by the wrong name.

At least a hundred times a week, I forget my kids are little and yell at them for not completing a task or because they made a silly choice.

At least a thousand times a week, I forget to forgive myself.

It’s okay if your watch is on upside down. It’s like a backwards math problem. You can solve it!

It’s okay if you don’t know the date sometimes. The days fly too quickly anyway.

It’s okay if you call your kids by the wrong name. At least you will get someone’s attention.

It’s okay if you forget why you went into a room. At least you are capable of getting there. Who knows, maybe you will remember why you forgot to go there yesterday.

It’s okay to expect greatness from our children. They are pretty great after all. We just need to remember to take a moment, be patient, and find ways to help them understand what needs to be done.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. You are human (and your watch is upside down, you are in the wrong room, and a kid you can’t name is begging for a snack.) Forgive yourself.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. This is for all those parents out there who are having a rough parenting week, and everyone whose watch is upside down or on the wrong date, and anyone who can’t remember people’s names, and anyone who needs to be reminded to forgive themselves.

 

Why are shadows so darn scary?

Intentergy 2 Comments

Why are shadows so darn scary?

afraid-of-a-shadow

The weather was BEAUTIFUL this past weekend so I took my kiddos to the local playground. As we were swinging, my youngest son said, “Look how big I am!” (He was admiring how large the afternoon sun made him appear.)

My daughter was sitting on the swing next to him and she asked, “Mama, why do shadows scare me sometimes?” I laughed and told her I knew what she meant. I explained the meaning of the expression “Afraid of their own shadow.” She told me that she wasn’t afraid of her own shadow, just afraid of shadows sometimes because she didn’t know what they were.

Again, I assured her she wasn’t alone.

Here is the heart of my message. There are a lot of things out there that frighten us. Most of them are the unknown. Some of them are cold and dark. Some of them make small things seem enormous. Here is what we need to do to shed light on those scary old shadows:

png 1 Stop! Take a look at what is casting its shadow your way with an open-mind. When you allow yourself time to develop a clear perspective, it is a lot easier to find solutions to the situation that frightens you.

png 1 Shine your own light on the shadow. If the thing that frightens you is hanging around because of something scary a loved one is facing, be a beacon of joy and hope for them. When you share joy, it multiplies. Shadows don’t stand a chance when hope glows in the hearts of the frightened.

png 1 Tell the shadow to go away. If there is a threatening person or situation that continually darkens your door, let it go. Tell it to move on. Stand firm and move with unwavering intent to leave that shadow behind you.

png 1 Laugh it away. When you are able to face your fears and laugh in their shady faces, you are no longer afraid. You have put power into your own hands and taken charge of the situation.

png 1 Acknowledge that there will always be shadows to cross your path. Not every day can be all sunshine and roses. Not every song can be love and laughter. Not every story has a happy ending, but you can start a new tale or rewrite your personal history as you over come your shadowy fears. They exist but they the can only scare us if we let them.

By: Melanie A. Peters

 

P.S. I am not ashamed to admit that I have been scared by my own shadow once or twice.

 

The Creative Power of the Unknown – Wise Words Wednesday

Intentergy 4 Comments

The Creative Power of the Unknown – Wise Words Wednesday

creative-power-of-the-unknown

The personal philosophies found in the This I Believe collection continue to amaze me. One that stood out to me in particular this week came from astrophysicist Alan Lightman.

In his personal philosophy he wrote, “I hope that there are always things we don’t know about the physical world as well as about ourselves. I believe in the creative power of the unknown. I believe in the boundary of standing between the known and the unknown. I believe in the unanswered questions of children” (Allison, 149).

Our brains are so overworked with the little details of everyday survival that we forget to hold onto the magic of wonder. We limit our boundaries for growth.

I love when my children ask me questions that stump me. Those questions demonstrate the tremendous potential my children have for understanding and intelligence. It also reminds me that it’s ok to not be a know-it-all. We always have something to learn about our world or ourselves.

As you embark on your schedule-driven journey this week, leave a little room to learn and explore things that are new or unknown to you. Provide creative energy to your conversations and introductions. Allow the unknown to extend into your personal motivation. Continue reading “The Creative Power of the Unknown – Wise Words Wednesday” →