The Cost of Frugality

When I was a kid, one of the most exciting parts of going back to school was new “school” shoes. In keeping that tradition alive, I always make a big deal about new shoes for my kiddos when shopping for school supplies. This year was no different, except for the fact that my 13-year-old refused to get new sneakers. His feet had outgrown every pair of shoes he owned, but it did not matter. He refused to even look at a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, my son is a sneaker-head. He LOVES shoes, particularly basketball and baseball footwear.

When I asked him why he didn’t want new shoes, he said, “I’m saving you and Dad money.”

I then asked, “If I don’t buy you new school shoes, do you believe I won’t make you go back to school?”

He gave me a sly grin and said, “Maybe.”

He is ridiculous. His ankles were hurting. Due to the holes in his shoes, his toes had experienced multiple traumas. He complained of his knees aching. Never did he realize that it might have had something to do with his tragic choice of footwear.

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What Do Turkeys Dream About?

While waiting for my son’s practice to end, I chatted with another gym mom and her little girl. I asked the little girl about her day, and she told me she played at school and came to practice with her sister. When she inquired about my day, I told her I spent the whole time trying to make turkeys’ dreams come true.

She gave me an incredulous look and asked why I would do that. I told her that I was a turkey farmer. Then she asked, “What do turkeys dream about?”

Well, that was a stumper!

I told her I wasn’t sure what they dream about because no turkey had ever told me his dreams.

She told me I was silly because turkeys don’t talk.

What I should have admitted to her was that I had never asked a turkey what his dreams were…

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Defining Sabbatical

After subbing the last 13 weeks of the school year for junior high language arts and fulfilling my duties for our farm, I needed a break from the “normal” routine. I needed a complete reset, so booking a cabin for a couple of nights made perfect sense. My packing consisted only of comfortable clothes, food, books, wine, and melatonin. I was bound and determined to relax on my “sabbatical.”

The hardest part about taking the sabbatical was my guilt. I felt terribly guilty about leaving hubby and the kiddos and neglecting my responsibilities at our home and farm. I felt guilty about missing baseball games and gymnastics practices. I felt guilty about leaving my dog. I felt guilty about the fact that I had no purpose other than to rest. I was crazy.

Taking those 72 hours to relax, recharge, and rediscover my motivation was the healthiest thing I could have done. I now believe that is what a sabbatical should do.

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I Am Not Okay – Stuck on Repeat

Listening to the radio is often frustrating because I feel like the same songs are played over and over. Like most people, my drive times are pretty consistent. Two days a week I drive my son to his 6:00 p.m. practice. When we get in the car, we jokingly place bets on what songs we will hear first because they are always the same.

In the past few weeks, there has been one song in particular that I haven’t minded being on repeat. It is “I Am Not Okay” by Jelly Roll.
(If you haven’t heard it, please give it a listen, but be sure to listen all the way through.)

While singing along with the gravel, grit, and pain in Jelly Roll’s voice, I started to feel something loosening in my heart last week. I looked at my 11-year-old and sang, “I am not okay. I’m barely getting by. I’m losing track of days and losing sleep at night… I know I can’t be the only one who’s holding on for dear life.” My sweet boy laughed at me and said, “Mom, you are okay.” As I sang the rest of the lyrics to him via my in-car concert, I felt like I couldn’t stop until the last verse. When I got to the last verse, I couldn’t go on. My heart hurt too much to sing.

As we pulled into practice, I told my son to go on in. I would be in shortly.

He went in. I broke down.

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How Did the Holy Family Figure It Out?

It’s crazy how often we find ourselves praying for one thing and then the words of someone we love or respect smack us right upside the head with the truth about what we need in place of what we thought we wanted. This past Sunday, I entered church in a very snippy mood. My children had aggravated me to the point I was not feeling very faithful. I kneeled in the pew and prayed for God to help me handle my little heathens.

It just so happened that this Sunday was the feast of the Holy Family and the readings were about what God asked of Mary and Joseph, how Mary held all the worries and wonders in her heart, and how Jesus grew smart, strong, and full of grace. Our priest Father Tony is one of the most relatable pastors we could ever ask for. He started his homily by speaking on how happy it made him to see the way our community always comes together and the work we do to raise our children well. He went on to say that he knew not all families were made the same. He mentioned the “nuclear” families, the blended families, the families made up of grandparents raising grandchildren, foster families, and any variety of “dysfunctional” families possible. He told us of his estranged brother and how it hurt him to think of his brother’s decision to remove himself from their lives.

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Monday’s Message – January 1, 2024

Starting the New Year on a Monday can be viewed as either a good thing or a bad thing. Mondays are rough for some folks, but because we have become conditioned to live by the edicts of our calendars, it feels sort of natural to start a new year on a Monday. I guess it’s all in the outlook that your Intentergy instigates on the first Monday of 2024.

In typical Intentergy fashion, I’m going to consider this Monday a positive milestone. My kids enjoyed a Monday that was school, homework, and doctor appointment-free. It was a cold winter day when I was able to enjoy my Christmas decorations and the novelty of the gifts received for the holiday. To ward off any bad luck, I refrained from doing any laundry today, and any day without doing laundry is a good day.

I hope you are off to a positive start and that your milestone Monday manifested energy, hope, and lots of Intentergy as you face this fresh beginning. Along with wishing you a new year full of opportunity, friendship, success, and joy, I wish you a very merry first Monday of 2024!

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I hope the first Tuesday of 2024 is even more terrific than today.

Pull a Swap-a-doodle

Swapping out negative energy or non-productive habits for ones that can propel us in a positive direction isn’t always easy. Most of the time our pessimistic mindset is the first hurdle we face. We start off by failing to believe in our ability to reach a goal. Today’s focus for Intentergy is to remind you of the power of the swap-a-doodle.

Positive energy can come from just about anywhere, but the swap-a-doodle stimulation for me came from Jen Hatmaker, one of my favorite authors. In her book, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You, she encourages readers to make the world a better place by pursuing their dreams. Hatmaker points out that when we make excuses for not having enough time or resources to chase our dreams, we simply need to switch out something that isn’t part of reaching the goal for a choice that can help create opportunities. Jen reminds us on pg. 118 that making the move towards attaining success rarely impacts others in the ways we fear and usually leads to finding support from friends and family. Along with a cheering squad, we often discover the shift “just replaces something that already held open time slot or energy required. You get to do a swap-a-doodle and plug right in.” That, my friends, is the beauty of a swap-a-doodle.

As 2023 is still a relatively new year, I encourage you to figure out which swap-a-doodles might make your year a swapping success. If it’s healthier habits, re-establishing relationships, or capturing a new career, I have absolute faith that you possess what it takes to shift with gusto the elements necessary to be triumphant in turning things around. With a little humor, determination, and flexibility, you have what it takes to swap-a-doodle with the best of them. So stop doodling and get swapping!

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. Swap-a-Doodles can also be referred to as switcher-roos, flippy-floppies, and/or out-with-the-oldies-in-with-the-newbies.

P.P.S. What swap-a-doodle are your seeking this year? I’m letting go of a little sleep for more writing time.

Sources:

Hatmaker, Jen. 2020. Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You. Nelson Books; Nashville. pg.118.

Turning Things Around?

When poults (baby turkeys) arrive on our farm, they are less than 24 hours old. They are cute, hungry, thirsty, and not very smart. In addition, they are top heavy thanks to their full yolk sacs and skinny legs. For about the first 7 days of their lives, it is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of time flipped onto their backs, kicking their spindly, little legs like crazy, and looking up instead of ahead.

Appropriately, we, in the turkey industry, call the flipped-over poults, “flippers.”

A flock with a lot of “flippers” takes more time to care for because we spend so much time walking through the range house setting the spinning birds right-side up. Often they flip back over or a stampede of other poults pushes them prone again, but we still work to set them all in the right direction.

I feel like many of us are “flippers” in our lives because we allow the weight of our overthinking and worry to upend our outlooks or the pressure of trying to go with the flock to capsize our cause. Just like the extra time it takes to care for a building full of “flippers,” we are too panicked about our problems and freaking out instead of finding ways to fix them. We spend too much time failing to find the solution to turning things around in our lives.

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Jane Jetson Aspirations

It is the year 2022, and I aspire to be Jane Jetson 40 years in advance. I say 40 years in advance because The Jetsons portrayed society in the year 2062. My aspirations to be Jane Jetson most likely stem from laziness or exhaustion (not sure which), but I can tell you that my robot vacuum lacks the personality of Rosie Jetson and my wardrobe has far fewer digital options than Jane’s.

I can only imagine what it would be like to press a button and a fully fresh face and hair style would materialize. Forget the frustration of not having anything to wear, I could just step into my holographic closet apparatus and create my perfect look by swiping through the digital designs. My dishes would wash themselves, food prepare itself, and the laundry would wash, dry, and fold all on its own. It would be magical.

Maybe it’s her cool triangle-shaped collar, or her ability to juggle all the galactic challenges of being a woman of the future, but I know that I would love to put myself in her spacetastic shoes. Clearly, Jane is a woman who knows how to handle her bumbling husband, reign in her teenage daughter, keep her brilliant son from getting too big for his britches, and maintain a social life and philanthropic endeavors through her work with the Skypad Apartments’ recycling company and Galaxy Women Historical Society. Who wouldn’t want to be like Jane Jetson?

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Links to Happiness

I’ve never worked in a paper clip factory. I never thought about what it would be like to make paper clips all day long. I had not considered what it must be like to have a career solely based on those cartons of curved, organizational magic… that is until I opened my most recent box of paper clips.

Upon lifting the lid to a brand new box, I discovered a very long chain of clips connected to one another. Surely, this is not a normal product of the paper clip making process. Someone somewhere took the time to construct this impressive chain of fasteners. Perhaps their intent was to frustrate the recipient of the chain, or maybe its creation served to pass the time during an unfortunate shut-down at the plant, or it could be that the chain’s maker was just trying to make a connection with someone else in a unique way. Whatever the reason, I was now the intrigued owner of a very long paper clip chain.

When I showed my daughter, she said, “That’s cool, but now you can’t use those paper clips.”

“Why can’t I use them?” was my reply.

“Because then you wouldn’t have the chain anymore,” she stated and walked away.

I guess she was right. I needed a paper clip, not a chain of them, but there were Intentergy moments in those links.

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