Have you ever loved someone enough to stand in front of a crowd of family, friends, and coworkers and bash that person? Have you shared stories of their failures, personal problems, and, most likely, their greatest insecurities?
Well, I have.
Did it feel good?
It absolutely did.
What is wrong with me?
Nothing.
What’s wrong with my little sister?
Apparently, a lot of things.
To celebrate my sister reaching a monumental age, my brother-in-law planned a Toast and Roast.
He invited guests to gift my sister with sarcasm, trash talk, and general degradation of her character.
It was phenomenal!
Who knew that slander and verbal abuse could bring people together in such a glorious light?!?
After the roasters had laid out their lines of laughable insult, the birthday girl was given a turn to bash them back.
As my sister took the stage, I was slightly fearful that the roasts had burned a little too deep. She walked up and said, “This was the weirdest birthday party I’ve ever had, so, uh, I guess, thanks?”
In this world, there are all kinds of people, but it recently occurred to me that there seem to be two types of wishers among the throngs of earthly inhabitants. Some wish for the unknown, while others wish for what they know to be comfortable. On the trip of a lifetime, Hubby and I had the opportunity to hike in Juneau, Alaska, with friends. It was AMAZING!
As we trekked 5 miles into the Alaskan forest, one of the natural occurrences that our guide pointed out was that many trees had fallen along the path, completely revealing their roots because the soil is so shallow.
The fragility of the trees’ stability was fascinating because the tree roots where we live rarely come out of their deeply embedded homes without the help of a tornado or bulldozer.
Despite their seemingly easy downfall, the Alaskan trees managed to keep their roots together.
I don’t think I would be able to hold all my facets from flailing in every direction if I toppled in such a massive fashion.
As we made our descent, my gal pal and I marveled at how lucky we were to witness the Alaskan beauty and how hard it was to wrap our brains around just how massive the wilderness is. Walking arm-in-arm, we were in rapture.
My sweet friend, being the magical wish-maker that she is, said, “The only thing that would make this hike more perfect is if Sasquatch walked across the trail in front of us.”
In September, my friend Rachel and I planned a girls’ trip around a few doctor appointments. We booked a hotel room and made exciting plans to attend the last home game for the St. Louis Cardinals and visit the Missouri Botanical Gardens.
The Cardinals’ game was a win and the weather was perfect. That night we enjoyed watching football and relaxing in our hotel room, but when we woke the next morning Mother Nature had experienced a mood change and it was pouring rain.
Who wants to walk around a botanical garden in the rain?
Well, I guess we did.
The guy who sold us our entry tickets said we probably wouldn’t get to see much of the gardens without getting wet. We thanked him, took our visitor’s map, and headed out hoping to walk between the drops.
We quickly found refuge in one of the coolest greenhouses ever. Inside its walls were some of the most fascinating plants with the coolest names.
(This is the greenhouse I’m going to ask Hubby to build for me.)
We discovered plants that are on the brink of extinction, including one called the “Fine Lady.” Rachel and I decided that they may have named this plant after us because we are definitely a rare breed.
How does a “Fine Lady” end up on the list of Endangered Plants?
She’s “fine” after all. Maybe there IS something wrong with being just “fine.”
There were some seriously exotic plants, like the Buddha’s Hand. It was kind of creepy, and I really kind of want one.
As we enjoyed checking out the foliage and fruits of the first greenhouse, the rain let up. We made our way through the rose garden and around the waterlily ponds without having to share the space with a single other soul.
We had the beautiful, but wet, botanical gardens all to ourselves.
Before the rain returned, we decided to find the Climatron. It was advertised as the highlight of the gardens and a completely enclosed rainforest environment.
The Climatron was amazing! The rainy weather had woken all of the plants and they put on a most brilliant display. The thought and effort put into creating The Climatron forest were inspiring and we witnessed countless moments of organic beauty as we wondered its paths. I guess we really were the kind of people who wanted to walk around a botanical garden in the rain.
While the weather changed our plans and the plants made us feel small, the experience made a big impact on how we were able to spend our time. Our stroll through the gardens was comfortable, unrushed, and without distraction from anyone else. If we had given up on our plans because of the rain, we would have missed out on such a unique experience.
We took a chance, despite the weather, and it paid off.
We didn’t settle for “It’s fine; we don’t have to go,” and our visit was a vibrant experience that not a lot of people got to see that day.
I encourage you to do the same. Take a chance. Make a plan. Stick to your plan. Enjoy all you witness and know that your unique escapade has enriched your life.
Put some energy into planning something beautiful and I’m certain your purpose will be rewarded, maybe soggy, but rewarded in some very cool ways.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Does anyone have blueprints for that greenhouse? Hubby is going to need them.
Fine ladies (Not Endangered) under a waterfall in the Botanical Garden.
Without a doubt, this calf was born super. He has all the markings of Spiderman or a WWE wrestler. There is no magic charm or superpower that could change his appearance. Unless he’s found a mirror somewhere in the pasture, he has no idea that his markings manifest the fact that he is bound for greatness.
I think we are all born naturally super. It’s hard to see our exceptionality sometimes when we look in the mirror.
I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to feeling unattractive, imperfect, or goofy-looking. I have yet to meet anyone who looks in the mirror every day and says, “Dang! I am perfect.”
If you do this and are sincere in your proclamation, please share your secret.
Until then, I will probably continue to lament my big ears, mommy belly, and the birthmark on my hip.
Despite my lamentations and the self-mortification felt by most, there is one thing that we can find solace in and that is the fact that we are naturally super in the eyes of those who love us. We were created in the image of God to make the world a more beautiful and diverse place.
On a recent visit, my three-year-old nephew Henry asked, “What’s there on your face?”
It took me a minute, but I realized he was asking about the worry-lines between my eyebrows (wrinkles). I smiled and said, “Those are just my wrinkles. Look I have more when I smile” and pointed at the crow’s feet formed on the side of my eyes.
Henry and I snuggling and hoping to wake some of his freckles.
The next day Henry asked why I had those spots on my face and arms. I told him they were my freckles… spots where the sun kissed my skin. He looked innocently at his arms and said, “My freckles are still sleeping.”
While his noticing my wrinkles made me a little sad, his discovery of my freckles and statement about his sleeping spots was super sweet and made me think about the freckles, wrinkles, and other characteristics that appear with time.
I know we can all relate to our adolescent desires to be taller, fuller, thinner, or whatever-er, but once we are doing the adulthood thing, how often do we give ourselves credit for the features that are no longer “sleeping”? Or how do we celebrate the differences between people? Do we point out the idiosyncrasies of other’s appearance in positive or appreciative ways?
As I made my way around the corner, light from our basement stairwell startled me. My children are notorious for leaving on the lights throughout the house, but this time I was the only one awake and certain that I had turned off all lights before going to bed the night before. The glare from the stairs was unexpected and demanded investigation.
I made my way down the steps, and as I reached the bottom landing, I had to smile. The radiant light was shining through the artwork completed a year ago on our basement windows. The sun had not shone in a few days and its rays were something I really needed and appreciated in that quiet moment.
The windows found in my home and those around the globe, may not have held a candle to the ones found in our parish churches, but they allowed a creative light to shine in our hearts and homes last spring. In the throws of pandemic quarantine, I sought ways to bring joy and creativity to my children’s activities. As Easter approached and the weather kept us indoors, I joined thousands of other parents giving kids permission to paint their windows. Using tempera paint we created “stained glass” windows.
March 2020 – My kiddos creating “stained glass” windows.
At the time, this was a fun and uplifting experience. Now, the fear and anxiety that came with the haunting pandemic are lessened and the pressures of what to do with ourselves in those uncertain times have diminished, but the artwork on our windows is still there brightening our days.
I could wash the windows and take down the reminder of what COVID 19 did to our lives last spring, but keeping the color on those panes has also been a positive prompt encouraging us to keep faith in spite of fear and that things will improve if we find ways to stay optimistic. It is in the light of last year that we can feel pride in our resourcefulness and gratitude for what we have accomplished and the continued blessings of our lives. So if you are feeling down or there is a darkness hanging over you, please know that there is light at the end of every tunnel and even the most stained of windows have the ability to let brightness shine in you.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Washing windows is a sad subject because washing windows makes me sad. Please don’t ask me to was these windows. 🙂
I’m no Robert Frost, but I am an admirer of hearing “the only sound’s the sweep, of easy wind and downy flake.” I’m not an enthusiast of freezing precipitation and the havoc it wreaks on roadways, but I am a fan of the peaceful nature of falling snow and an even bigger admirer of Fridays. Fridays are the highlight of the week, but a Friday in a world that looks like a snow globe is a special treat.
The peaceful nature of today’s snowfall felt like a call to drop all the worries and stressors that have been weighing me down. The dance of flakes in a symphony of spiraling, soft landings seemed to lower my stress level and reminded me to just let go of the silly stuff that I can’t control. (Hopefully I don’t sound too much like the Frozen soundtrack.)
If you are not in a place where you can see or hear the snow, I hope you will enjoy this clip from my front porch.
The sights and sounds as the snow began to fall harder this morning
The Intentergy message for today is to let the falling snow be your call to peace. Even if for only a minute or two, taking in the frosty scene can help you forget what’s wrong with the world and the blanket of white can be a clean slate allowing you to find calm.
See the world for the beautiful and chaotic snow globe that it is.
Let the simple pleasure of flakes falling be the counterweight to your worries and find some balance between stress and serenity. While we are like Robert Frost in that there are probably miles and miles to go before we sleep, we can be grateful for the opportunity to watch these woods fill up with snow and empty our emotional overloads as we enjoy the sights and sounds of this wintery season.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. If there’s enough snow, you can throw some snowballs to get frustrations out as well. A very peaceful practice!
P.P.S. My allusions to Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” do not have to stop here. I am so glad we are past “The darkest evening of the year,” and the day light is blissfully growing longer.
Each morning as I check turkeys, I am amazed at how much they have grown and how their looks change from one day to the next. The funny thing about turkeys is the older they get the prouder they are of their looks. As their plush, yellow fluff is replaced with fine, white feathers, the birds make it their business to hold their heads higher when they pass by. When their fully white plumage is in place, turkeys seem to spend all their time admiring and admonishing their tails and wings, and flaring their feathers as they strut around. Pride in their maturity seems to be the opposite of what we humans do. We lose confidence in our appearance as we age. This loss of self-esteem is tough emotionally and isn’t very attractive. So while turkeys are definitely not the most beautiful of creatures, I think we need to be more like them.
5 Days Old
21 Days Old
As we begin this new 365-day trip around the sun, many of us are focusing attention on our appearance. The most common New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight or exercise more. So while, many of us are counting our calories and watching our weight, I want to encourage you to fluff your good stuff. Don’t let love handles or belly rolls be what you purposefully draw attention to. Single out your best qualities and draw attention to what makes you feel good about yourself.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of a personal quality or physical trait. There is tremendous benefit to knowing what you are good at or what makes you beautiful and unique. So, if you’ve got it, fluff it!
When Atticus came to us in July he was a light rusty color, but as winter approaches, he has become a horse of a different color. Not only has his winter coat added a deeper hue, but his mane has really grown out from its previous roaching, and Atticus looks like an equine rock star with his mohawk mane.
It seems the darker shade of his hair has also brought out a slightly more somber attitude in my sweet boy. After accompanying Hubby on a hunting trip in Colorado, Atticus came back without the willingness to ride. Of course, I was greatly concerned. Hubby told me that twice Atticus stopped when they were riding up the mountain and simply would not go. Hubby had to get off and lead him. (This defeated the purpose of taking a horse to the mountains and did not bode will with the hunting party.) When I attempted to ride him on the farm, Atticus calmly allowed me to groom and saddle him but would NOT budge once I was in the saddle.
Atticus checking Winn-Dixie out.
No amount of kissing, clicking, or kicking could get him to go. We even tried baiting him by separating him from his girlfriend Winn-Dixie. Atticus couldn’t have cared less that my daughter rode Winn-Dixie out of the corral and out of sight. I hopped off, did some ground work with him, jumped back on, and still no steps would he take. I led him to the top of the pasture meeting up with my patiently waiting daughter and Winn-Dixie. Back in the saddle I went, but nowhere was Atticus willing to walk. Eventually, we ponied him back to the corral with Winn-Dixie.
We are all familiar with the “If you can’t say something nice…” adage, but how often to we put effort into leaving our lousy thoughts out of what we say?
Last week I was angry. Angry at someone I care a great deal about. Angry at the choices they had been making. Those choices felt unfairly selfish to me. When I voiced my anger to my friend Emily, she helped put things into perspective. Emily reminded me that the person I was mad at wasn’t necessarily being selfish; they were being human. Each decision they made was done so because they thought it was the appropriate choice for them.
Of course, Emily was right and I needed to quit being so judgmental.
This week, as I was taking a drive with my friend Chelsea, she was lamenting the overly critical nature of one of her family members. The nature of their hypercritical haptics was exhausting her. We came up with the brilliant idea that people should quarantine their fault finding fascination. The quarantine of unfair judgment and social criticism would be a great way to cure the world with kindness and understanding.
Intentergy 