Category Choices

Don’t Be a Parrot

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Last summer as my friend Jackie was recovering from a very serious health scare, I pleaded with her to tell me how I could help. She said, “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not a parrot and I can’t just say what you want to hear.” I told her I didn’t want her to be a parrot, I wanted her to be honest with me about what we needed to do to get her back on track. I asked her to give me two or three things I could do to assist in her recovery. And that’s where we began.

I think we’ve all been in situations where we didn’t know where to start or what to say. Sometimes finding a starting point seems harder than reaching the finish line. All too often, we play the role of the parrot telling others what we believe they want to hear because it’s easier than asking for what we really need.

When I had wrist and elbow surgery last December, I had friends and family ask how they could help. I didn’t want to be a burden, especially during such a busy holiday season, so I just told them to pray for me. (Prayer is always a GREAT idea.) However, once my arm was in that cast and I was feeling the pain of recovery, it was a whole lot easier to ask for what I needed. We shouldn’t have to feel pain in asking for help.

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The Cost of Frugality

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When I was a kid, one of the most exciting parts of going back to school was new “school” shoes. In keeping that tradition alive, I always make a big deal about new shoes for my kiddos when shopping for school supplies. This year was no different, except for the fact that my 13-year-old refused to get new sneakers. His feet had outgrown every pair of shoes he owned, but it did not matter. He refused to even look at a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, my son is a sneaker-head. He LOVES shoes, particularly basketball and baseball footwear.

When I asked him why he didn’t want new shoes, he said, “I’m saving you and Dad money.”

I then asked, “If I don’t buy you new school shoes, do you believe I won’t make you go back to school?”

He gave me a sly grin and said, “Maybe.”

He is ridiculous. His ankles were hurting. Due to the holes in his shoes, his toes had experienced multiple traumas. He complained of his knees aching. Never did he realize that it might have had something to do with his tragic choice of footwear.

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Is Twinning Really “Winning”?

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When I invited my friend Katie to join in on my restorative sabbatical at a nearby AirBnB cabin, I packed good food, comfortable clothes, wine, and books. Not surprisingly, Katie packed similar supplies for our excursion. The most pleasant surprise though was found in Katie’s bag of books and magazines. Without prior discussion, my gal pal and I packed the same book, The Noticer by Andy Andrews. We were book twinning!

With millions of book titles in the world, it was kookie kismat that Katie and I independently chose identical titles for our escape.

“So what?” you might say. “What does book twinning have to do with anything?”

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What Do Turkeys Dream About?

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While waiting for my son’s practice to end, I chatted with another gym mom and her little girl. I asked the little girl about her day, and she told me she played at school and came to practice with her sister. When she inquired about my day, I told her I spent the whole time trying to make turkeys’ dreams come true.

She gave me an incredulous look and asked why I would do that. I told her that I was a turkey farmer. Then she asked, “What do turkeys dream about?”

Well, that was a stumper!

I told her I wasn’t sure what they dream about because no turkey had ever told me his dreams.

She told me I was silly because turkeys don’t talk.

What I should have admitted to her was that I had never asked a turkey what his dreams were…

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Defining Sabbatical

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What the heck is a “sabbatical”? This was the question my kids asked as I planned a mini-vacation for myself. I explained to them that a “sabbatical” was my time to recharge after surviving the spring semester. According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, a sabbatical is a break or change from a normal routine (as of employment).

What does “sabbatical” mean to you?

After subbing the last 13 weeks of the school year for junior high language arts and fulfilling my duties for our farm, I needed a break from the “normal” routine. I needed a complete reset, so booking a cabin for a couple of nights made perfect sense. My packing consisted only of comfortable clothes, food, books, wine, and melatonin. I was bound and determined to relax on my “sabbatical.”

The hardest part about taking the sabbatical was my guilt. I felt terribly guilty about leaving hubby and the kiddos and neglecting my responsibilities at our home and farm. I felt guilty about missing baseball games and gymnastics practices. I felt guilty about leaving my dog. I felt guilty about the fact that I had no purpose other than to rest. I was crazy.

Taking those 72 hours to relax, recharge, and rediscover my motivation was the healthiest thing I could have done. I now believe that is what a sabbatical should do.

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The Circus Isn’t Going Anywhere – Wise Words Wednesday

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“You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town”

― Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

Recently, I stopped at a gift shop in hopes of finding a special present for my niece. It was a normal errand on a typical day, and I was pretty excited about the task. All of a sudden, a voice from my past called my name (literally). It was not a voice I expected or wanted to hear. The projector of the voice was someone who caused a lot of embarrassment and insecurity for me in the past.

I responded with a smile and answered all the questions thrown at me about my life now. Fortunately, I had to pick up my son from practice, so I said my goodbyes and got the heck out of there. The rest of my evening was filled with monkey mind memories swinging from one hurtful remembrance to another.

You know the type. The memory that pops up at 2:00 a.m. when you can’t shut your brain off or the voice across the room that causes your stomach to drop (not in a good way). Some memory monkeys are rabid and never stop attacking your thoughts, while others are sneaky and shimmy into your day without you realizing and then you, all of a sudden, are in full-on “can’t think about anything else mode.”

Here’s the good news. With time, forgiveness, and grace, we can pry those memory monkeys off our proverbial backs and send them packing.

Here’s the bad news. You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.

Anne Lammot wrote these wise words in her book, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith, when I read this I knew Anne was on to something.

When we do find the strength to move forward, it seems like that pesky memory monkey always finds a way to pop up in our day, whether it be in our thoughts or in the checkout line. The “circus” could be the result of living in a small town or the fact that your mind is its own three-ring extravaganza of emotions and you are the head clown.

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Avoiding the World’s Fastest Shower & Squirrels

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Frequently, I find myself announcing to my already-running-late family that I am going to take “The World’s Fastest Shower,” and then we will be out the door. 

I turn the faucet handle to start the water,  brush my teeth while the water warms, jump in the shower, and begin counting down from 100 like a crazed stopwatch challenging myself to get clean and get out in under 100 seconds.

This is insane.

I know.

The “World’s Fastest Shower” may freshen me up, but it fogs my focus and definitely puts a damper on my day.

Do you do this? Do you rush yourself through things that should make you healthier and happier for the sake of keeping up with your schedule? How fast do you eat your breakfast? Do you race through reading directions only to find you skipped a step because you thought it would save time? Do you attempt to take “The World’s Fastest Shower” thinking it’ll wash away the fact that you have too much to do but are too stinky to be around the other scurrying schedule-followers? 

I think we all do. We all give ourselves crazy countdowns for the sake of keeping up. Wouldn’t it be even crazier if we stopped?

For me, the answer to avoiding “The World’s Fastest Shower” comes from not wasting my time on the “squirrels” in the room. While we have actually had furry, four-legged squirrels in our rooms (A story for a later blog post), I’m talking about the proverbial “squirrels.” These are the “squirrels” that come in the form of an unopened email, a pile of laundry, a broken door handle, a dusty photo frame, or any other distraction that trips up our ability to stay on task. 

If I could just ignore the stuff that isn’t going anywhere (i.e. dust, laundry, broken door handle, etc.), I would not be on 10, 9, 8, 7…. as I frantically try to rinse the face wash out of my hair and scrape the hair conditioner off my face. Do you feel my pain?

Here’s the challenge to all of us: Avoid the need to hold the Guinness World Record for Shortest Shower Time by leaving the “squirrels” to nest on their pesky perches. Slow down for the sake of keeping soap out of our eyes and avoiding a wipeout as we try to stick the landing leaping from the shower to get dressed. 

If it helps, you can hang a “No Squirrels” sign on your mirror reminding yourself that you don’t need to alphabetize unpaid bills or sort the unmatched socks from the last six months before you leave. The more frequently we let the “squirrels” go and give ourselves time to get ready, the easier it will be to avoid the slip-ups and stress of disastrous dashes out the door. Intentergy is energy with a positive purpose, and I can’t think of a healthier way to get your purpose energized than starting off the day without letting the “squirrels” get in the way.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I looked on the Guinness World Records website and there were no entries for “Fastest Shower,” “Fastest Shower Taken,” or “Fastest Bath” listed.

Groundhog Day Again… In a Good Way

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“Groundhog Day,” the movie starring Bill Murray, is one that will go down in the annals of cinematic greatest for its hilarious cycle of February 2nd repetition. While the film featured Murray’s vast myriad of responses to being roused by the same rise-and-shine message brought us a lot of laughs, I can only image how frustrating it would be if we actually woke up to face the same scenario each and every day.

How crazy would it make you to know that nothing new was going to come your way Every.Single.Day.? Would you face the mornings in a multitude of crazy ways or would you accept your circumstances and go through the motions over and over again in the same mundane manner? Sometimes I think we all feel like we are trapped in a Groundhog Day pattern and that pattern can take the positive out of our perspective.

To avoid the lunacy of lacking variety and negative impacts of uneventful outlook, I want to challenge you to make each day Groundhog Day Again… In a Good Way.

I think the best way to establish a good Groundhog Day cycle is to find a practice that opens your possibilities to success, variety, or joy. Having that one exercise or routine that establishes your day as a “good one” will diminish the doldrums of any repetition.

If you can’t think of any ways to shake up your wake-up, consider some of these Groundhog Day Go-To Starters:

  • Journaling: Jot down 3 things you are grateful/hopeful/ready/working for…
  • Deep Breathing Exercises: Breathe in the newness of the day; Breathe out the fear, anxiety, or frustration of starting again
  • Enjoy a A Calendar that introduces something new each day (i.e. Word-of-the-Day, Joke-of-the-Day, Quote-of-the-Day)
  • Look in the mirror and tell yourself 5 things you love about your life.
  • Do 15 minutes of crunches, leg-lifts, squats, planks, jumping jacks, or jogging
  • Make a point to eat a good breakfast (Keep a few options for getting your day going on hand to help avoid breakfast boredom)
  • Wake up your partner or kiddos by telling them 3 things you love about them or are excited to do with them.

Hopefully, adding a routine to the start of morning will make any Groundhog Day situation feel like you are ready to be successful in a variety of ways. By adding something you know will freshen your attitude, you avoid the trap of a tedious start. Giving yourself something to look forward to, even though it’s a repeat practice, is a good way to celebrate any day, even Groundhog Day, again and again.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. If a giant rodent being pulled from a tree stump every day is part of your new routine, you might need to rethink your routine.

How Did the Holy Family Figure It Out?

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It’s crazy how often we find ourselves praying for one thing and then the words of someone we love or respect smack us right upside the head with the truth about what we need in place of what we thought we wanted. This past Sunday, I entered church in a very snippy mood. My children had aggravated me to the point I was not feeling very faithful. I kneeled in the pew and prayed for God to help me handle my little heathens.

It just so happened that this Sunday was the feast of the Holy Family and the readings were about what God asked of Mary and Joseph, how Mary held all the worries and wonders in her heart, and how Jesus grew smart, strong, and full of grace. Our priest Father Tony is one of the most relatable pastors we could ever ask for. He started his homily by speaking on how happy it made him to see the way our community always comes together and the work we do to raise our children well. He went on to say that he knew not all families were made the same. He mentioned the “nuclear” families, the blended families, the families made up of grandparents raising grandchildren, foster families, and any variety of “dysfunctional” families possible. He told us of his estranged brother and how it hurt him to think of his brother’s decision to remove himself from their lives.

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Refrigerator Fancy

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Do you consider yourself to be fancy?

Do you include your appliances in your fancifulness?

At dinner one night, my children and husband were making light of the fact that I was drinking a glass of red wine with my steak. They continued teasing me about my “fancy” wine glass and my love for planning, preparing, and documenting good meals. (I’m not really very fancy, but I guess they have to have something to tease me about.)

As the ribbing continued about my fanciful ways, my son said, “Just look at your refrigerator.”

We all stopped.

What did the fridge have to do with me being “fancy”?

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