Every day we are challenged to find optimism in life. Often the struggle to find opportunity is much more prevalent than the belief in limitless possibility. Thanks to a conversation I had about turkey dreams, my dear friend Amy helped me latch on to the challenge of finding inspiration in my dinner napkin. (Bet you never thought you’d read that sentence.)
So here’s the question: What color is this napkin?
A pragmatic person might say that this napkin has no color because the hue of white is defined as the absence of color.
I would say this napkin is the color of possibility.
Just think about it!
There are endless ways this napkin could take on a different shade.
Last summer as my friend Jackie was recovering from a very serious health scare, I pleaded with her to tell me how I could help. She said, “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not a parrot and I can’t just say what you want to hear.” I told her I didn’t want her to be a parrot, I wanted her to be honest with me about what we needed to do to get her back on track. I asked her to give me two or three things I could do to assist in her recovery. And that’s where we began.
I think we’ve all been in situations where we didn’t know where to start or what to say. Sometimes finding a starting point seems harder than reaching the finish line. All too often, we play the role of the parrot telling others what we believe they want to hear because it’s easier than asking for what we really need.
When I had wrist and elbow surgery last December, I had friends and family ask how they could help. I didn’t want to be a burden, especially during such a busy holiday season, so I just told them to pray for me. (Prayer is always a GREAT idea.) However, once my arm was in that cast and I was feeling the pain of recovery, it was a whole lot easier to ask for what I needed. We shouldn’t have to feel pain in asking for help.
When I was a kid, one of the most exciting parts of going back to school was new “school” shoes. In keeping that tradition alive, I always make a big deal about new shoes for my kiddos when shopping for school supplies. This year was no different, except for the fact that my 13-year-old refused to get new sneakers. His feet had outgrown every pair of shoes he owned, but it did not matter. He refused to even look at a pair of tennis shoes.
Normally, my son is a sneaker-head. He LOVES shoes, particularly basketball and baseball footwear.
When I asked him why he didn’t want new shoes, he said, “I’m saving you and Dad money.”
I then asked, “If I don’t buy you new school shoes, do you believe I won’t make you go back to school?”
He gave me a sly grin and said, “Maybe.”
He is ridiculous. His ankles were hurting. Due to the holes in his shoes, his toes had experienced multiple traumas. He complained of his knees aching. Never did he realize that it might have had something to do with his tragic choice of footwear.
When I invited my friend Katie to join in on my restorative sabbatical at a nearby AirBnB cabin, I packed good food, comfortable clothes, wine, and books. Not surprisingly, Katie packed similar supplies for our excursion. The most pleasant surprise though was found in Katie’s bag of books and magazines. Without prior discussion, my gal pal and I packed the same book, The Noticer by Andy Andrews. We were book twinning!
With millions of book titles in the world, it was kookie kismat that Katie and I independently chose identical titles for our escape.
“So what?” you might say. “What does book twinning have to do with anything?”
While waiting for my son’s practice to end, I chatted with another gym mom and her little girl. I asked the little girl about her day, and she told me she played at school and came to practice with her sister. When she inquired about my day, I told her I spent the whole time trying to make turkeys’ dreams come true.
She gave me an incredulous look and asked why I would do that. I told her that I was a turkey farmer. Then she asked, “What do turkeys dream about?”
Well, that was a stumper!
I told her I wasn’t sure what they dream about because no turkey had ever told me his dreams.
She told me I was silly because turkeys don’t talk.
What I should have admitted to her was that I had never asked a turkey what his dreams were…
Daily I complete what feels like a zillion, small tasks in hopes of making a significant difference in the lives of those around me. I put a whole lot of faith in the belief that I am doing the right things as a parent and wife and accomplishing all the roles God calls me to fill. Most of the time, I do not experience the euphoria of success, in particular when it comes to being a parent.
My kids torture one another. My little darlings fight over the MOST RIDICULOUS things. They forget stuff I consider important, like homework or chores. They treat our home as if is their personal dumpster to discard shoes, socks, food wrappers, soda bottles, and empty cups wherever they please. It is enough to make this mama’s heart hurt and ask, “Lord, am I doing anything right?”
In Matthew 17:20, when the disciples weren’t sure if their faith was enough, Jesus reassured them by saying, “…Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (New American Bible).
All too often, I feel like saying, “Lord, I’ve got all kinds of seeds planted. When am I gonna move those mountains?”
I guess we have to consider what a “mountain” looks like because sometimes they aren’t as big as we expected in the beginning.
What the heck is a “sabbatical”? This was the question my kids asked as I planned a mini-vacation for myself. I explained to them that a “sabbatical” was my time to recharge after surviving the spring semester. According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, a sabbatical is a break or change from a normal routine (as of employment).
What does “sabbatical” mean to you?
After subbing the last 13 weeks of the school year for junior high language arts and fulfilling my duties for our farm, I needed a break from the “normal” routine. I needed a complete reset, so booking a cabin for a couple of nights made perfect sense. My packing consisted only of comfortable clothes, food, books, wine, and melatonin. I was bound and determined to relax on my “sabbatical.”
The hardest part about taking the sabbatical was my guilt. I felt terribly guilty about leaving hubby and the kiddos and neglecting my responsibilities at our home and farm. I felt guilty about missing baseball games and gymnastics practices. I felt guilty about leaving my dog. I felt guilty about the fact that I had no purpose other than to rest. I was crazy.
Taking those 72 hours to relax, recharge, and rediscover my motivation was the healthiest thing I could have done. I now believe that is what a sabbatical should do.
Recently, I stopped at a gift shop in hopes of finding a special present for my niece. It was a normal errand on a typical day, and I was pretty excited about the task. All of a sudden, a voice from my past called my name (literally). It was not a voice I expected or wanted to hear. The projector of the voice was someone who caused a lot of embarrassment and insecurity for me in the past.
I responded with a smile and answered all the questions thrown at me about my life now. Fortunately, I had to pick up my son from practice, so I said my goodbyes and got the heck out of there. The rest of my evening was filled with monkey mind memories swinging from one hurtful remembrance to another.
You know the type. The memory that pops up at 2:00 a.m. when you can’t shut your brain off or the voice across the room that causes your stomach to drop (not in a good way). Some memory monkeys are rabid and never stop attacking your thoughts, while others are sneaky and shimmy into your day without you realizing and then you, all of a sudden, are in full-on “can’t think about anything else mode.”
Here’s the good news. With time, forgiveness, and grace, we can pry those memory monkeys off our proverbial backs and send them packing.
Here’s the bad news. You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.
When we do find the strength to move forward, it seems like that pesky memory monkey always finds a way to pop up in our day, whether it be in our thoughts or in the checkout line. The “circus” could be the result of living in a small town or the fact that your mind is its own three-ring extravaganza of emotions and you are the head clown.
In my recent post about the fact that I don’t always feel okay, I think I scared some folks. Sorry about that!
I really am alright. I had been feeling down and thought there might be others experiencing the same emotions, so I shared. Thank you to everyone who read and reached out! It’s really gonna be alright, and we are DEFINITELY not alone in our ups and downs.
Now, I want to discuss why this sheep wouldn’t stop smiling at me.
This gal right here would not stop grinning at me as we admired the sheep pen at the State Fair. I finally asked her, “Hey! What are you smiling at?”
She just kept smiling.
When I finally petted her, she pressed her face harder to the gate and smiled even bigger. I realized this sheep was brilliant. She sought to manifest her happiness and it worked. She desired to be fulfilled by gaining attention. She was successful.
She smiled. She was petted. Brilliant!
What are you smiling at?
Today I encourage you to smile about something you are going to make happen. Whether it’s something as simple as trying a new recipe, taking a nap, or having a great hair day,put a big ol’ “I’m gonna make it happen” grin on your face.
If it’s something huge, like booking an Alaskan cruise or starting a new career, I want you to cheese it up about the certainty that you WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN.
IF you want substantially more to simper about, jot down a list of target tasks and laugh like a mastermind villain as you put your PLANS into action. With each successful achievement, another grin is going to make its way to your countenance and greater self-pride will prosper.
If you aren’t sure you have the energy to muster a smile, here is one from my dog Beast to get you going.
See! Even Beast knows you’ve got the potential to make your goals happen. She’s smiling because terrific things are going to transpire for YOU!
The Intentergy message for today: 1. Smile about what you are going to do. 2. Do that thing you are smiling about! 3. Smile some more. 4. Share your awesomeness in a comment on this post and so others get to grin about your greatness.
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Sorry for all the bold, CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!! It was the only way I could infuse the appropriate enthusiasm into this message. I promise I’m not yelling at you to smile because that would not make you smile.
Is this what you look like?
If it is, please know that I was not yelling. I was interjecting joy. If you look like this, please scroll back up to the previous photo, put the grin back on your face, and go do that thing that is going to make you happy.
P.P.S. Please do share what you are doing to bring a grin to your gorgeous face.
P.P.P.S. The sheep’s name is Millie. She is a goal-getting, Missouri State Fair sheep shown by the lovely Loretta from Luzon Farm, and she should be smiling because she’s awesome.
Listening to the radio is often frustrating because I feel like the same songs are played over and over. Like most people, my drive times are pretty consistent. Two days a week I drive my son to his 6:00 p.m. practice. When we get in the car, we jokingly place bets on what songs we will hear first because they are always the same.
In the past few weeks, there has been one song in particular that I haven’t minded being on repeat. It is “I Am Not Okay” by Jelly Roll. (If you haven’t heard it, please give it a listen, but be sure to listen all the way through.)
While singing along with the gravel, grit, and pain in Jelly Roll’s voice, I started to feel something loosening in my heart last week. I looked at my 11-year-old and sang, “I am not okay. I’m barely getting by. I’m losing track of days and losing sleep at night… I know I can’t be the only one who’s holding on for dear life.” My sweet boy laughed at me and said, “Mom, you are okay.” As I sang the rest of the lyrics to him via my in-car concert, I felt like I couldn’t stop until the last verse. When I got to the last verse, I couldn’t go on. My heart hurt too much to sing.
As we pulled into practice, I told my son to go on in. I would be in shortly.
Intentergy 