Category Understanding and Compassion

Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday

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Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday via Daily Prompt: Instinct

The Right Instinct

I have learned a lot in my life from Lady O.

  1. Wear pretty underwear when you are feeling ugly. (A lesson learned on a sick day watching Oprah Winfrey Show when I was in high school)

    Oprah

    Photo credit: Google Images

  2. Multitasking is hard on our brains. We must condition our brains to identify priorities. (Another Oprah Winfrey Show tidbit)
  3. Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, is a master of literature. (Because of this lesson, I have taught Walker’s story “Everyday Use” for the last 10 years.)
  4. “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. That is the lesson, and that lesson alone will save you a lot of grief.”

 

Recently I read a post on stranger danger and how children’s discomfort around adults, even familiar adults, should be respected and acknowledged. There is something to this discontent that we should regard.

When someone unfamiliar calls you and their tone sets off alarm bells in the back of your brain, it is okay to put your responses on hold until they have established themselves as someone who is trustworthy.

Great deals or special values are not always so “special.” If you believe a “deal” to be too good to be true. Your honesty meter is going off and you should probably step away from the “deal” until you can find the real value in it.

Many of life’s opportunities require us to go with our gut. Letting our instincts inspire us is integral to making life changing choices.  Continue reading “Turn Right at the Instinct – Wise Words Wednesday” →

So I accidentally ate some chocolate…

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So I accidentally ate some chocolate…wp-image-421246380jpg.jpeg

I have established clear and determined intent to abstain from chocolate. It is Lent and I LOVE chocolate so it is the one thing I purposefully give up each year.

TWICE! TWICE! I have inadvertently eaten chocolate in the first 7 days of Lent. Aaauuuggghhhh!

My first infraction came with lunch on Ash Wednesday (of all the days!). I opened my yogurt while checking emails and scarfed it down. (I was really hungry from abstaining.) Then I turned to eat my peanut butter sandwich and realized that, I, in my state of “starvation,” ate a yogurt with chocolate and coconut. I felt so guilty! I didn’t even allow myself to each chocolate on the following Sunday (The one day a week that we are allowed to indulge during Lent) because of my guilt.

My second mistaken consumption occurred this Wednesday. Hubby and a crew of guys were pouring concrete for our new porch steps. I thought it would be nice to make lunch and treat them with cookies. I opened a tub of cookie dough and started scooping. Before placing the first dough ball on the cookie sheet, I did what I always do for “quality control;” I tasted the cookie dough. IT WAS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH!

My guilt was unbearable! I was supposed to be sacrificing. Jesus DIED for us and I can’t go 7 days without chocolate. Oh my goodness! Continue reading “So I accidentally ate some chocolate…” →

What to do with mountains – Wise Words Wednesday

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What to do with mountains – Wise Words Wednesday

What to do with mountains

I thought this quote might be appropriate for hump day. 🙂
“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.”

W-O-W! Wow! Powerful!

Those stupid grains of sand add up fast in life. The worrisome grains that make mountains out of mole hills. The ones that filter past our best laid plans and most dedicated intentions. The stained shirts in the bottom of the laundry. The bill we forgot to pay. The milk carton that got left out this morning. The low fuel light glaring at us from the car dash.

What are we supposed to do with those mountains?

I know I get mad when my kids climb on the mountains of laundry, but hey, at least someone is having fun with the unfolded clothes. The looming bills, chores, and commitments darken our horizons. What are we supposed to do with those mountains? Continue reading “What to do with mountains – Wise Words Wednesday” →

A Survey of Self – March Positivity Challenge

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A Survey of Self

survey-says

Lent began on March 1st. Lent is the 40 days and 40 nights leading up to Easter. During Lent sacrifices are made or special intents are set to show our appreciation for the sacrifices Jesus made for us.

Lent is also a time of self-reflection and hope. Our efforts in this time are intended to bring us closer to God. For some it is a time to improve on their relationship with themselves, family, friends, or coworkers as well.

For the month on March, I challenge you to do a Survey of Self.

This survey requires you to look at three aspects of your life and dedicate energy and intent to improving or strengthening the areas that need rejuvenation.

png 1 Health

  • How do you feel when you get up in the morning?
  • How do you feel when you go to bed at night?
  • Do the foods you eat make you feel nourished or are they consumed for comfort?
  • Do you drink enough water?
  • Do you get enough sunshine?
  • Do you get enough fresh air?
  • Do you practice good hygiene? Wash hands regularly? Brush teeth often?

These are all simple questions that can have simple solutions. Carry a water bottle to ensure hydration. Setting a bed time and sticking to it will help with better quality rest. Walking to the mail box to get the mail, instead of reaching out the car window to retrieve your letters, will give you exercise, fresh air, and maybe even some sunshine. Pick up a new type of shampoo or soap; this will make bath time something you look forward to and will make you feel happy when you smell the scent of your new purchase. Eating a salad or fresh fruit instead of a prepackaged lunch or donut will keep away those late day sugar crashes.

png 1 Relationships

  • Do you walk away from someone in your life feeling exhausted?
  • Do you question why someone in your life even spends time with you or vice versa?
  • Do you have someone in your life who leaves you feeling uncomfortable or afraid?
  • Do you feel like you are constantly letting a particular person in your life down?
  • Do you question your dedication to a group or cause to whom you belong?
  • Do you wish there was more time to spend with certain people in your life?
  • Is there someone you know could use more of your time and attention?
  • Is there someone you wish you knew more about?
  • Do you feel alone often? Does your loneliness come after being with or without someone?

Ask yourself these questions. Once you have had time to reflect on the questions that bother you the most, you are ready to take steps to strengthen your relationship skills.

For loneliness or shyness, make goals to greet or meet people or adopt new, healthy hobbies or practices that will provide chances to meet others.

For fearful or anxiety producing relationships, the healthiest thing to do is to either address your concerns with the other person or (for safety reasons) move on. Life is too short and too precious to live in fear.

If you are not feeling a strong connection to something that has been a part of your life for a long time (such as church family, circle of friends, or your actual family), try to find a fresh approach or a new circle within that organization to associate yourself. Sometimes approaching it from a different angle opens up new doors and better relationships.

If a relationship feels tired, go for some a tough question talk, like “What came first the chicken or the egg?” or “Why do you think the sky is blue?”  or “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Crazy, I know! But maybe your line of age-old questions will open up a fresh conversation and give your relationship a much needed boost. Another great trick is to go on a trip down memory lane. Bringing up positive and pleasant memories encourages the making of new ones.

png 1 Faith

  • Do you believe in something beyond yourself?
  • Do you believe there is good in everyone?
  • Do you believe in the power of hope?
  • Do you believe in the power of love?
  • Do you believe in yourself?

Ask yourself what you believe. Ask others what they believe. Define what it is that makes you have those beliefs and discover what has led to the beliefs of those you care about. To create greater faith in yourself and those you love, you must have understanding. Do historical, psychological, or theological research. Find answers to your faith questions. Sometimes those answers lead to more questions, but that’s okay. The more we know; the more we grow.

Confidence in your faith and knowledge can lead to the best faith of all: faith in yourself.

Happy surveying,
Melanie A. Peters

P.S. On the note of learning and growing, I am working to improve Intentergy. It has been over a year since I began publishing my blog and I am so proud of how it has developed. Please take time to complete this 5 question survey about http://www.intentergy.com. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated and will provide a learning opportunity for me.
Thank you for being my teacher!

Improving Intentergy Survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/87HQQXC

How can I ask if I didn’t know?

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How can I ask if I didn’t know?

how-can-i-ask

Recently, hubby and I had a heated “discussion” about my belief that I had to physically drive to the bank to pay the truck payment. My belief goes back almost 20 years.

In 1998 my mother co-signed a loan to purchase a new car for me. When we left the bank, the loan agent told me, “Each month just bring in your payment and the loan book. We will tear out a receipt for each payment.” After that I just always took my payment book to the bank.

As our “discussion” wound down, my husband said, “If you don’t know something, just ask.”

How was I supposed to ask, if I didn’t know that I didn’t know it???? Continue reading “How can I ask if I didn’t know?” →

Simple Solutions

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Simple Solutions

simple-solutions

Everywhere in society, we have to provide our autographs for signature pads like the one in the photo. The difference between this signature pad and most other signature pads is that this one proudly displays the use of a simple solution.

Recently I wrote about my family’s obsession with adhesives, so the fact that this simple solution was generated by using transparent tape adds to my love of sticky stuff, but really fuels my excitement for simple solutions.

“What’s the big deal about that transparent tape with an X and a line?” you ask.

What’s the big deal?!?

That line shows you where to write your name when you don’t know where to sign.

“Okay,” you say, “So what’t the big deal?”

The big deal is we are forced to make thousands of decisions everyday.

Some of those decisions we can do without much thought, but when you are asked to sign because you are seeking medical attention for your child, and you are freaking out about what the doctor might say, you need an X  with a line next to it so you know where to sign your name. It’s a big deal!

Once we got past the awesome signature pad and the terrific pediatric ENT, I was able to take a deep breath, (probably would have known where to sign without the handy X and line), and reflect on the simplicity of the doctor’s advice and that miraculous signature pad.  Continue reading “Simple Solutions” →

I Can’t Even Put My Watch on Right

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I Can’t Even Put My Watch on Right

on-my-own-time

At least twice a week, I will throw on my watch, only to find that it is upside down when I need it.

At least once a month, my watch will show the wrong date. I can’t seem to get the stupid, upside down time piece to catch up with me.

At least half a dozen times a week, I walk into a room and forget why I was there.

At least a dozen times a week, I call one  of my children by the wrong name.

At least a hundred times a week, I forget my kids are little and yell at them for not completing a task or because they made a silly choice.

At least a thousand times a week, I forget to forgive myself.

It’s okay if your watch is on upside down. It’s like a backwards math problem. You can solve it!

It’s okay if you don’t know the date sometimes. The days fly too quickly anyway.

It’s okay if you call your kids by the wrong name. At least you will get someone’s attention.

It’s okay if you forget why you went into a room. At least you are capable of getting there. Who knows, maybe you will remember why you forgot to go there yesterday.

It’s okay to expect greatness from our children. They are pretty great after all. We just need to remember to take a moment, be patient, and find ways to help them understand what needs to be done.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. You are human (and your watch is upside down, you are in the wrong room, and a kid you can’t name is begging for a snack.) Forgive yourself.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. This is for all those parents out there who are having a rough parenting week, and everyone whose watch is upside down or on the wrong date, and anyone who can’t remember people’s names, and anyone who needs to be reminded to forgive themselves.

 

Make Life Work – Wise Words Wednesday

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Make Life Work – Wise Words Wednesday

make-life-work

This sassy little quote was found on Pinterest. I like it.

While I write about positive energy and intent everyday, it is extremely necessary for me to also practice flexibility, consideration, and acceptance of imperfection.

The pursuits of happiness and perfection are often considered to be connected, but in all actuality, perfection prevents us from being happy because we are too worried about becoming imperfect.

In reading This I Believe, Andrew Sullivan’s philosophy outlined the pursuit of happiness as such, “I believe in the struggle to remake ourselves and challenge each other in spirit of eternal forgiveness, in the awareness that none of us knows for sure what happiness truly is, but each of us knows the imperative to keep searching. I believe in the possibility of surprising joy, of serenity through pain, and of homecoming through exile” (Allison, 233).

Life isn’t ever going to be perfect. We have to make it work through the joy, pain, and homecomings. We can never stop seeking what it is to be happy or to assist others in finding joy. Our own self-definition is never complete. We have to work to keep the surprises from throwing us too far off our intended course. And we have to maintain diligence through the challenges and imperfections of life.

It won’t be easy, but we can make it work……life, that is.

We must put LIFE to work each day. Allow the challenges and choices of each moment define a successful and fruitful existence. Direct your energy and intent in ways that lighten the loads of your imperfections and chaos. It’s never going to be perfect. Make it work.

Perfect your own personal style for living life to the fullest, and you won’t ever have to worry about living the perfect life. It will just work.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I am totally ok with not being perfect, but I still try really hard sometimes. I just do. Oh well, I guess I will keep working at it. Nobody’s perfect, right?

Sources: Allison, Jay, et al. This I Believe: the Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Women and Men. New York, Henry Holt, 2006.

The Day I Couldn’t Sing

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The Day I Couldn’t Sing

i-couldnt-sing

On Friday, January 6th I had the honor of being with my friends Laura, Karen, and Brenda when their mother Wanda passed away. Wanda was an honest, simple, and kind woman. My children called her Grandma Wanda. Losing her battle to cancer was the result of a long hard fight. She is greatly missed.

After Wanda’s passing the family asked me to sing at her funeral. There was not a question as to my willingness. I was ready. The song was even one of my favorites “Here I am, Lord” by Dan Schulte.

As the funeral approached, my nerves grew. My sadness seemed to have a hold on my voice. The day of Wanda’s funeral I prayed for grace and the ability to sing in a way that was worthy of honoring Wanda’s life.

It was a cold, windy day. The funeral home did not have an organist to accompany me so I found the music online. The funeral director and I checked and double checked that it was the correct music. As the funeral service began, I followed the ministers and other vocalist into the funeral salon. We were seated next to Wanda’s coffin.

It was heartbreaking to see the sadness on my friends’ faces and knowing that Miss Wanda was lying there next to me. The other vocalist sang the opening song beautifully. The opening prayer was humble and reverent.

It was my turn to sing. As I took my place at the microphone, I could hear the melody in my heart but not in my ears. Slowly the music began to filter in through the speakers. The speakers were overhead, projecting outward, and away from me. I leaned forward and took  a deep breath. Too deep. I missed the sound of my opening note. I quickly caught up but my voice was shaky and a bit high.

The winds blowing outside shook the windows and the WiFi antenna. The music stopped. I sang a few words but could not find the melody in my ears or my heart. It was as if the sadness and wind had blown me too far off my musical course. I could not sing.

I apologized. The music buffered and restarted at a different spot. I waited for the chorus and I sang again shakier than ever and without my heart in the song. As I made it to the last verse, my friend smiled at me and nodded. She knew I was doing my best and how hard it was to be there. The music cut out again briefly but I sang that last verse and closing chorus to the best of my ability, sat down, and cried.

My tears were not from embarrassment but from shame. How could I let Wanda’s family down? How could I let Wanda down? I just couldn’t sing. Continue reading “The Day I Couldn’t Sing” →

The Creative Power of the Unknown – Wise Words Wednesday

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The Creative Power of the Unknown – Wise Words Wednesday

creative-power-of-the-unknown

The personal philosophies found in the This I Believe collection continue to amaze me. One that stood out to me in particular this week came from astrophysicist Alan Lightman.

In his personal philosophy he wrote, “I hope that there are always things we don’t know about the physical world as well as about ourselves. I believe in the creative power of the unknown. I believe in the boundary of standing between the known and the unknown. I believe in the unanswered questions of children” (Allison, 149).

Our brains are so overworked with the little details of everyday survival that we forget to hold onto the magic of wonder. We limit our boundaries for growth.

I love when my children ask me questions that stump me. Those questions demonstrate the tremendous potential my children have for understanding and intelligence. It also reminds me that it’s ok to not be a know-it-all. We always have something to learn about our world or ourselves.

As you embark on your schedule-driven journey this week, leave a little room to learn and explore things that are new or unknown to you. Provide creative energy to your conversations and introductions. Allow the unknown to extend into your personal motivation. Continue reading “The Creative Power of the Unknown – Wise Words Wednesday” →