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Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday

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Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday

Misunderstanding the Distance

Misunderstanding creates painful separation. The most painful part of that separation comes from the fact that it could have been prevented if communication had been clear.

Misunderstanding is bred from hastiness or failure to fully witness what is being shared.

Recently, a student submitted the wrong document for his assignment. I entered a zero in the grade book, wrote a comment for him to send the correct assignment to me (so that I could give points for his actual paper), and emailed him a message about the assignment. He did not come to our next class. He did not respond to my email. Two days later he replied to my comment in our online grading program, “What was the problem with my work? I turned it in. What do you want?”

Clearly, he was angry because he did not understand what the problem was. I replied by copying and pasting my original message and a smiley face.

He never replied. At our next class, he was present and said that I had not explained the assignment. I pulled out the sample document I gave the class, showed the page in the text with the sample we shared, and redirected him to the PowerPoint with the notes and assignment that was shown in class. His response, “Oh, I forgot.”

I was hurt that he accused me of not providing enough information to foster understanding. Never would I want to provide a lesson that created misunderstanding. That is the worst distance between student and teacher. Continue reading “Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday” →

Makes Me Scream – Monday Motivation

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Makes Me Scream – Monday Motivation

Makes Me Scream

“If I have to hear her ____________, ______________, and ________________ one more time, I’m going to scream.”

A super successful weekend is followed by an exhausted Monday morning. Friday was game night with the kids. Saturday we helped host an amazing benefit for a terrific cause. Sunday we attended church and I had the opportunity to speak to some super smart kids at the local National Honor Society Induction. It was awesome!

What to write about on a rainy, exhausted, Monday morning? My lesson plans for today provided just the prompt to get me going.

On a chapter about writing with appropriate parallelism, Question #8 made me laugh but then made me nervous. What if my students wrote their responses to this sentence about my teaching? What if my husband had to fill out this sentence? Man, that question just made me want to scream.

“If I have to hear her ____________, ______________, and ________________ one more time, I’m going to scream.”

What is it that makes you scream?

My scream would sound something like this:

“If I have to hear her back out of her commitments, show her disregard for others, and refuse to let go of the past one more time, I’m going to scream.”

png 1 I know what you are thinking…”Where is the motivation here, Melanie?”

Well, the motivation comes from this… What if we turned this scream of angst into one of joy?

“If I hear her ____________, ______________, and ________________ one more time, I’m going to scream from excitement!”

If we can shift our tone and keep our goals in line with our intent, positive motivation will call out to us. Heck, that positive motivation might just lead to cheers of joy and accomplishment in our lives.

If I had to identify my motivators for positive proclamations, they would have to include:

“If I hear her admit she is talented and beautiful, share something great she had done, and demonstrate compassion one more time, I’m going to scream from excitement!”

Seriously, I would do a cartwheel!

What makes you scream with enthusiasm?

As you make your way through this Monday, don’t let the angry frustrations set you off or mess with your motivation. Redirect your responses to resound with appreciation, pride, or congratulations. Be the one screaming excitement for those around you. Your cheering will do just that…bring cheer.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I really do want to scream sometimes, but I prefer to wear my positive pants.

P.P.S. Question #9 “The instructor has already explained ______________, __________, and ___________” is one that makes all teachers scream. 🙂

Save the Date

Hang In There!

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Hang In There!

Hang in There 17

Last week my son, who is in kindergarten, was not wanting to go to school. He sulked the whole way. As we pulled into the school parking lot, I said, “Cheer up, buddy, you only have like 9 more weeks until summer.”

The transformation of his attitude was too great to express in words. The smile that crept onto his face was radiant, and he said with tremendous hope, “And then I will be a 1st grader?”

Who knew the potential of being a 1st grader was the motivation he needed to hang tough that day? I thought the promise of sleeping in, baseball, and summer vacation would get him going. (Silly mama!) The things that motivate are as unique as each individual in any situation.

Spring is a season of excitement and new beginnings but the hints of those new beginning can really challenge us. We feel the effects of spring fever and it makes it hard to stay focused and hang in there.

At a recent get-together with some of my friends (most of whom are teachers), all shared their end-of-school countdowns. Each one knew exactly how many days were left. (Teachers are just as excited as students for summer.) That number, the exact number of days left in school, was something that brought smiles to each of their faces.

I am never motivated by the number of days remaining. I am motivated by the lessons I have

Bring on the rain (1).JPG

A storm rolling in

left to teach. I know exactly what I want to teach before the end of the year and I keep those goals in the forefront of my focus. Again, the things that motivate us are as unique as we are.

As we hang tough with spring, we have to keep in mind the different motivations and stressors of those around us. The blooming ambitions of students, co-workers, family, and friends sprout anxieties and issues that storm through relationships. It can be tough to hang with the winds of change and stress, but it can be done.

Hang in there! Keep your focus on productive goals and grace in your words. Patience and understanding will prevail with a sunny disposition. Add positive intent and determined energy and fair days will flourish.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. Follow the rainbow.jpg

 

 

Just One Trash Bag (at a time)

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Just One Trash Bag (at a time) via Daily Prompt: Filter

Just One Trash Bag

Recently my friend Cami shared her desire to do a Lenten purge of unnecessary things. Her goal was to filter through her life and remove one bag of unnecessary stuff a day. I thought this was an AWESOME idea, so I borrowed it for myself…

…Only I have failed.

The first day or two of Lent I did alright cleaning out a drawer and a closet, but I have come to the sound conclusion that filtering out unnecessaries takes a really, really, really long time.

How do things add up so quickly? Seriously?!? Continue reading “Just One Trash Bag (at a time)” →

So I accidentally ate some chocolate…

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So I accidentally ate some chocolate…wp-image-421246380jpg.jpeg

I have established clear and determined intent to abstain from chocolate. It is Lent and I LOVE chocolate so it is the one thing I purposefully give up each year.

TWICE! TWICE! I have inadvertently eaten chocolate in the first 7 days of Lent. Aaauuuggghhhh!

My first infraction came with lunch on Ash Wednesday (of all the days!). I opened my yogurt while checking emails and scarfed it down. (I was really hungry from abstaining.) Then I turned to eat my peanut butter sandwich and realized that, I, in my state of “starvation,” ate a yogurt with chocolate and coconut. I felt so guilty! I didn’t even allow myself to each chocolate on the following Sunday (The one day a week that we are allowed to indulge during Lent) because of my guilt.

My second mistaken consumption occurred this Wednesday. Hubby and a crew of guys were pouring concrete for our new porch steps. I thought it would be nice to make lunch and treat them with cookies. I opened a tub of cookie dough and started scooping. Before placing the first dough ball on the cookie sheet, I did what I always do for “quality control;” I tasted the cookie dough. IT WAS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH!

My guilt was unbearable! I was supposed to be sacrificing. Jesus DIED for us and I can’t go 7 days without chocolate. Oh my goodness! Continue reading “So I accidentally ate some chocolate…” →

What to do with mountains – Wise Words Wednesday

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What to do with mountains – Wise Words Wednesday

What to do with mountains

I thought this quote might be appropriate for hump day. 🙂
“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.”

W-O-W! Wow! Powerful!

Those stupid grains of sand add up fast in life. The worrisome grains that make mountains out of mole hills. The ones that filter past our best laid plans and most dedicated intentions. The stained shirts in the bottom of the laundry. The bill we forgot to pay. The milk carton that got left out this morning. The low fuel light glaring at us from the car dash.

What are we supposed to do with those mountains?

I know I get mad when my kids climb on the mountains of laundry, but hey, at least someone is having fun with the unfolded clothes. The looming bills, chores, and commitments darken our horizons. What are we supposed to do with those mountains? Continue reading “What to do with mountains – Wise Words Wednesday” →

A Survey of Self – March Positivity Challenge

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A Survey of Self

survey-says

Lent began on March 1st. Lent is the 40 days and 40 nights leading up to Easter. During Lent sacrifices are made or special intents are set to show our appreciation for the sacrifices Jesus made for us.

Lent is also a time of self-reflection and hope. Our efforts in this time are intended to bring us closer to God. For some it is a time to improve on their relationship with themselves, family, friends, or coworkers as well.

For the month on March, I challenge you to do a Survey of Self.

This survey requires you to look at three aspects of your life and dedicate energy and intent to improving or strengthening the areas that need rejuvenation.

png 1 Health

  • How do you feel when you get up in the morning?
  • How do you feel when you go to bed at night?
  • Do the foods you eat make you feel nourished or are they consumed for comfort?
  • Do you drink enough water?
  • Do you get enough sunshine?
  • Do you get enough fresh air?
  • Do you practice good hygiene? Wash hands regularly? Brush teeth often?

These are all simple questions that can have simple solutions. Carry a water bottle to ensure hydration. Setting a bed time and sticking to it will help with better quality rest. Walking to the mail box to get the mail, instead of reaching out the car window to retrieve your letters, will give you exercise, fresh air, and maybe even some sunshine. Pick up a new type of shampoo or soap; this will make bath time something you look forward to and will make you feel happy when you smell the scent of your new purchase. Eating a salad or fresh fruit instead of a prepackaged lunch or donut will keep away those late day sugar crashes.

png 1 Relationships

  • Do you walk away from someone in your life feeling exhausted?
  • Do you question why someone in your life even spends time with you or vice versa?
  • Do you have someone in your life who leaves you feeling uncomfortable or afraid?
  • Do you feel like you are constantly letting a particular person in your life down?
  • Do you question your dedication to a group or cause to whom you belong?
  • Do you wish there was more time to spend with certain people in your life?
  • Is there someone you know could use more of your time and attention?
  • Is there someone you wish you knew more about?
  • Do you feel alone often? Does your loneliness come after being with or without someone?

Ask yourself these questions. Once you have had time to reflect on the questions that bother you the most, you are ready to take steps to strengthen your relationship skills.

For loneliness or shyness, make goals to greet or meet people or adopt new, healthy hobbies or practices that will provide chances to meet others.

For fearful or anxiety producing relationships, the healthiest thing to do is to either address your concerns with the other person or (for safety reasons) move on. Life is too short and too precious to live in fear.

If you are not feeling a strong connection to something that has been a part of your life for a long time (such as church family, circle of friends, or your actual family), try to find a fresh approach or a new circle within that organization to associate yourself. Sometimes approaching it from a different angle opens up new doors and better relationships.

If a relationship feels tired, go for some a tough question talk, like “What came first the chicken or the egg?” or “Why do you think the sky is blue?”  or “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” Crazy, I know! But maybe your line of age-old questions will open up a fresh conversation and give your relationship a much needed boost. Another great trick is to go on a trip down memory lane. Bringing up positive and pleasant memories encourages the making of new ones.

png 1 Faith

  • Do you believe in something beyond yourself?
  • Do you believe there is good in everyone?
  • Do you believe in the power of hope?
  • Do you believe in the power of love?
  • Do you believe in yourself?

Ask yourself what you believe. Ask others what they believe. Define what it is that makes you have those beliefs and discover what has led to the beliefs of those you care about. To create greater faith in yourself and those you love, you must have understanding. Do historical, psychological, or theological research. Find answers to your faith questions. Sometimes those answers lead to more questions, but that’s okay. The more we know; the more we grow.

Confidence in your faith and knowledge can lead to the best faith of all: faith in yourself.

Happy surveying,
Melanie A. Peters

P.S. On the note of learning and growing, I am working to improve Intentergy. It has been over a year since I began publishing my blog and I am so proud of how it has developed. Please take time to complete this 5 question survey about http://www.intentergy.com. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated and will provide a learning opportunity for me.
Thank you for being my teacher!

Improving Intentergy Survey:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/87HQQXC

How can I ask if I didn’t know?

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How can I ask if I didn’t know?

how-can-i-ask

Recently, hubby and I had a heated “discussion” about my belief that I had to physically drive to the bank to pay the truck payment. My belief goes back almost 20 years.

In 1998 my mother co-signed a loan to purchase a new car for me. When we left the bank, the loan agent told me, “Each month just bring in your payment and the loan book. We will tear out a receipt for each payment.” After that I just always took my payment book to the bank.

As our “discussion” wound down, my husband said, “If you don’t know something, just ask.”

How was I supposed to ask, if I didn’t know that I didn’t know it???? Continue reading “How can I ask if I didn’t know?” →

Simple Solutions

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Simple Solutions

simple-solutions

Everywhere in society, we have to provide our autographs for signature pads like the one in the photo. The difference between this signature pad and most other signature pads is that this one proudly displays the use of a simple solution.

Recently I wrote about my family’s obsession with adhesives, so the fact that this simple solution was generated by using transparent tape adds to my love of sticky stuff, but really fuels my excitement for simple solutions.

“What’s the big deal about that transparent tape with an X and a line?” you ask.

What’s the big deal?!?

That line shows you where to write your name when you don’t know where to sign.

“Okay,” you say, “So what’t the big deal?”

The big deal is we are forced to make thousands of decisions everyday.

Some of those decisions we can do without much thought, but when you are asked to sign because you are seeking medical attention for your child, and you are freaking out about what the doctor might say, you need an X  with a line next to it so you know where to sign your name. It’s a big deal!

Once we got past the awesome signature pad and the terrific pediatric ENT, I was able to take a deep breath, (probably would have known where to sign without the handy X and line), and reflect on the simplicity of the doctor’s advice and that miraculous signature pad.  Continue reading “Simple Solutions” →

Make Life Work – Wise Words Wednesday

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Make Life Work – Wise Words Wednesday

make-life-work

This sassy little quote was found on Pinterest. I like it.

While I write about positive energy and intent everyday, it is extremely necessary for me to also practice flexibility, consideration, and acceptance of imperfection.

The pursuits of happiness and perfection are often considered to be connected, but in all actuality, perfection prevents us from being happy because we are too worried about becoming imperfect.

In reading This I Believe, Andrew Sullivan’s philosophy outlined the pursuit of happiness as such, “I believe in the struggle to remake ourselves and challenge each other in spirit of eternal forgiveness, in the awareness that none of us knows for sure what happiness truly is, but each of us knows the imperative to keep searching. I believe in the possibility of surprising joy, of serenity through pain, and of homecoming through exile” (Allison, 233).

Life isn’t ever going to be perfect. We have to make it work through the joy, pain, and homecomings. We can never stop seeking what it is to be happy or to assist others in finding joy. Our own self-definition is never complete. We have to work to keep the surprises from throwing us too far off our intended course. And we have to maintain diligence through the challenges and imperfections of life.

It won’t be easy, but we can make it work……life, that is.

We must put LIFE to work each day. Allow the challenges and choices of each moment define a successful and fruitful existence. Direct your energy and intent in ways that lighten the loads of your imperfections and chaos. It’s never going to be perfect. Make it work.

Perfect your own personal style for living life to the fullest, and you won’t ever have to worry about living the perfect life. It will just work.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I am totally ok with not being perfect, but I still try really hard sometimes. I just do. Oh well, I guess I will keep working at it. Nobody’s perfect, right?

Sources: Allison, Jay, et al. This I Believe: the Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Women and Men. New York, Henry Holt, 2006.