Category Parenting

Communication is necessary. No bull!

Intentergy 14 Comments

Communication is necessary. No Bull!

No Bull - communicate

For a while my husband has been looking for a balancer bull to round out our herd of Red Angus cattle. He had mentioned a few times that he found some nice looking Charolais or other breeds but I told him we raise Red Angus and I had no real interest in any crossbreeds.

Low and behold at dinner one evening, my husband announced that our new bulls and heifers would be delivered the next day. The kids were excited. I was confused. When did we buy new bulls or heifers?

He went on to tell the kids that they were going to get some pretty, new white cows. He didn’t look me in the eye. I didn’t want any white cows. We raise Red Angus!

I didn’t say anything. I just began to clear the dinner table. After dinner we finished up another crazy evening of dishes, homework, baths, and bedtime. I was too exhausted to bring up our new white cows.

The next day the Charolais arrived as promised. We took our excited kiddos to see them in the lot. The kids named them and asked questions and fought over who got to open and close the gate. I didn’t say much. We raise Red Angus.

Each night we continued to check the white cows and the red cows. The kids continued to be excited. I continued to be silent. Life was too busy to talk about those stupid, white cows.  Continue reading “Communication is necessary. No bull!” →

Meet the Locks

Intentergy Leave a comment

Meet the Locks – Funny Friday

Meet the Locks.jpg

On our recent camping trip, we experienced some embarrassing but funny mishaps. We arrived at the state park on a Thursday. There were very few campers at the park, so we quickly earned the devoted attention of our camp hosts.

We were greeted promptly and provided doggy bags for the puppy, a park map, activities for the kids, fast fire wood delivery, and a wonderfully friendly history of our hosts’ entire lives. It was nice.

Upon returning with the aforementioned firewood, our hosts talked to us about the different types of fire building techniques. As they critiqued our fire building, shouting and banging started inside our camper. The three-year-old had locked himself in and could not get out. Of course we didn’t have a key, so my husband and I tried to talk him through the unlocking process with no luck. Our camp hosts patiently sat in their golf cart and called out advice and offers to go get their camper keys.

The three-year-old soon grew tired of our coaching and climbed up on our bed in the camper, stuck his face out to the window screen, and sang, “Nah, nan, nah, boo, boo.” This received tremendous laughter from our other two children and the camp hosts, but hubby and I were not as amused. The hosts then said they would go get their key for us. In their absence my husband got the idea to send our daughter through the hole under the fold-up couch. He was able to hold the seat up long enough for her to climb through and unlock the door (just in time for the camp hosts’ return.) We thanked them and assured them we were set for the night. We were wrong. Continue reading “Meet the Locks” →

I didn’t want them to see me

Intentergy Leave a comment

I didn’t want them to see me

I didnt want them to see me.jpg

Today was the first day of school for my kiddos. My 7 year-old arrived eager, confident, and happy. She has a terrifically sunny disposition and sees good in most everything.

My 5 year-old can be a bit nervous at times, but is a lot of fun. He was soooooo ready to go to kindergarten. He smiled big and was the first one in the car.

When we pulled in the school parking lot, a switch flipped. He went so white I thought he would faint. After a very tearful departure, my day was ruined. I was terrified that my son was miserable and would never like school.

As the day progressed my fears eased and I went about my necessary tasks. Unfortunately one of the tasks brought me right past school to the post office.  We live in a small town. There was no avoiding it. It was near lunch time and I just knew my son would be out at recess, see me, and take off running. What was I going to do?

I sped.

I drove as quickly as was safely possible past the school, never pausing to look at the faces of the playing children. I ran in and out of the post office as quickly as possible and got the heck out of Dodge. No children came crying down the street so I felt like I bypassed that landmine and went back to my to-do list.

Getting groceries was the last thing to do on my list. After purchasing all of the things on my list, I could do one of two things.
1. Drive the four miles home, drop off the groceries, and prolong my son’s misery by not being one of the first parents at school.
2. Go sit in the parking lot and work on my coursework for the new class I start teaching next week and greet my babies with open arms as soon as they were dismissed.

Option 2 was my choice.

It turned out to be a terrifying decision. I was going to park in the back parking lot (so as to not be visible from the school), but as luck would have it, there were classes on the back playground having P.E. Continue reading “I didn’t want them to see me” →

House Rules

Intentergy 5 Comments

House Rules

house rules for happiness (1).JPG

Every home has its rules.

I purchased this set of lovely limitations from the bargain bin at Target. Each day I find myself creating new rules for my rowdy household. Rules like: Don’t put your feet on that, don’t put that in your mouth, we don’t use those kinds of words, NO you may not use knives. The list could go on and on.

The more I find myself repeating the mantras of motherhood; the more I believe them to be true. I really do want my kids to buckle up, keep their rooms clean, eat their vegetables, and keep their feet off the table. I really, really do believe that “Because I said so” is a reason for completing a task.

Often my husband and I discuss our fears about parenthood. Are we strict enough? Are we too strict? How does so-and-so deal with their child’s behavior? Whose side gave our kids their crazy habits? 🙂 I think all parents have these concerns and I believe that all families have to work their way through the perils of parenthood.

The best thing we can do for our kids is to establish expectations. If we set standards for behavior and communication, our children will grow into adults who value hard work, respect, and healthy relationships. We may feel like the meanest moms and dads in the world but in reality we are making the world a less “mean” place when we guide our sons and daughters to act and interact with appropriate behavior. Manners, pleasantries, common courtesies are all elements of civilization that must be upheld. If we don’t expect our children to demonstrate these basic behaviors, how can we expect society to reflect kindness and compassion for all?

Take time to establish your house rules. Take even more time to uphold them. If your kids see you stick to your guns, they will know it is important to you and that will make those rules important to them.

Put your energy into raising families that consider dedication and courtesy to be the standard. Demonstrate clear intent when it comes to showing your kids how others should be treated and how work should be completed. Giving positive feedback for appropriate behavior will only encourage children’s understanding for the importance of respect and reliability.

By: Melanie A. Peters

 

 

Bed Full of Eyeballs – Funny Friday

Intentergy 1 Comment

Bed Full of Eyeballs – Funny Friday

eyeball bed 1.jpg

 

Creating crafts is one of our favorite things to do. Sometimes our crafts need eyes, so I always keep googly eyes on hand.

My husband and kiddos were home alone on Monday evening, and when I returned, I found the house in its usual state of Hurricane Daddy-was-busy-watching-the-baseball-game. The aftermath of the recurring storm is always unpredictable and that is where the bed full of eyeballs came into play.

After calming everyone down and putting them back in bed for the third time, I headed to bed myself. As I picked up my pajamas, I found a googly eye. After pulling back my quilt, I found a pile of googly eyes. Clearly the kids found the craft supplies and used them to confetti my room while I was gone.

While a bed full of eyeballs sounds like the next major motion picture event for the scary movie genre, it was just another night in our crazy household. I removed as many eyeballs as I could find and fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, I was awakened by a strange noise. At first I thought it was one of the kids, but no one was up. My second fear was much worse, a mouse! But the noise stopped. I drifted back to sleep only to wake again as the sound returned.

I lay there slightly afraid because it sounded like it was under our bed. Now my husband is a terrific sleeper, so he did not wake. He continued with his peaceful snoring and restless leg slumber. The sound occurred again. Soon I realized that the pattern of the sound resonated after each time my husband shifted his legs. I turned on the bedside lamp and shook him.

“I think there is an eyeball on your leg,” I whispered as I tried to wake my husband. “What?!?” was his aggravated reply. “I think there is an eyeball on your leg,” I said again. I pulled the blanket off his legs and of course there were a handful of googly eyes stuck to his legs and quilt. He was annoyed and confused but wiped the eyeballs off onto the floor and went right back to sleep. The sound had stopped and so I fought my restless brain syndrome and finally drifted back to sleep.

eyeball bed 2.JPG

The next morning the alarm sounded way too early, as always, but I forced myself up and out of bed. After my shower, I went to wake hubby and could not help but laugh. As he lay sleeping on his side, there were two googly eyes stuck to his back. One was a big goodly eye and the other a very small one giving him a very lopsided monster look. When I pulled them off and woke him, he did not find it amusing.

I am not sure how anyone else would react to a bed full of eyeballs, but I think finding humor in the situation was necessary.

There are many lessons to be learned from this encounter with the googly optics of my craft cabinet:

  1. Keep the googly eyes up high and hidden, when I am going to be gone.
  2. My husband does not check to see what’s laying on the bed before he goes to sleep.
  3. My kids are always watching us (even in our sleep)
  4. If you ever find one eyeball in your bed, make sure you strip the bed to find all of the eyeballs before trying to go to sleep.
  5. Googly eyes really are creepy.

By: Melanie A. Peters

 

Slow down, child

Intentergy 4 Comments

Slow down, child

running in place (1).JPG

Eager to grow fast
Slow down, child. Time is fleeting.
Cherish each moment

My children refuse to stop growing so quickly. They refuse to be my helpless babies anymore. They refuse to let anything hold them back.

As the new school year approaches, my children seem to have grown inches taller and smarter than I know what to do with. I am so blessed to have healthy, thriving children but, like any other parent, I would love just a few more weeks or months of them being little.

Today my schedule is packed with appointments and errands, but I have planned a fun “mommy day” tomorrow and am looking forward to making memories.

Find time to make memories with those you love. Time is fleeting. If not for them, but for yourself, slow down, child.

By: Melanie A. Peters

Stand Tall (even when you’re drowning)

Intentergy Leave a comment

Stand Tall (even when you’re drowning)

Above water

When man-made lakes are formed, trees, fields, plains, and old homesteads are all covered with the collecting waters. What was once a forest or a small civilization becomes sights unseen. In spite of the hundreds of years put into growing those trees, we now only see a small tip of what made its way past the 30 or 50 or even 75 foot mark. The treetops are the only reminder of that tree’s grandeur for us.

Yes, there are still things we value in this tree. For example, tying your boat to the tree’s tallest boughs provides a successful spot for fishing, because now fish make their nests in its branches, instead of birds.We know that the roots still run deep, holding the foundation for the lake in place, and continuing to provide shelter for the animals that call the lake “home.”

The clusters of once mighty leaf-bearers are now skeletons reaching for the sky, proving they are still standing strong, leafless, broken, and drowning, but strong. Continue reading “Stand Tall (even when you’re drowning)” →

Elusive – I’ll Sleep When I am Dead

Intentergy 8 Comments

Elusive – I’ll Sleep When I am Dead

Nap Apology

Sleep eludes me almost every night. Sleep eludes my children almost every nap time. 🙂

Sleep is elusive.

Our bodies need rest. Our minds need rest. I need rest.

My poor boys do not know how to sleep through the night. I am pretty sure they get their night owl status from my husband and their restless brain syndrome from me. They are doomed.

People ask me all the time how I keep going on such little sleep, I smile and say, “I’ll sleep when I am dead.” We laugh and then I worry that might actually be when I truly am able to find rest.

I have done a lot of research on parenting and sleeping and even more research on how to get my body to be at rest. All of the research suggests limiting caffeine and sugar intake, establish bedtime routines, and avoid stimulating media devices before bed. Tried all of these, but the lack of caffeine may kill me before the lack of sleep.

The bedtime routine seems to make my kids crazier. The second I mention baths, pajamas, or bedtime all hell breaks loose and my sweet angels are hanging from the ceiling fan throwing down remnants of their uneaten suppers. It is hard to find a restful state in this situation.

When I talk to other parents and my pediatrician about getting them to sleep, everyone has advice or ideas. We welcome any and all ideas, but my favorite ones involve my friends taking my kids for the night so I can get some sleep. (For some reason, my kids will sleep anywhere but at home.) The problem with this idea is that when my kids are gone, I still can’t sleep.

What is wrong with me????!!??! Continue reading “Elusive – I’ll Sleep When I am Dead” →

Taking a Break from a Break

Intentergy 10 Comments

Taking a Break from a Break

Taking a break from a break

 

On our recent fishing trip, my kids could not wait to get out of the boat and climb the big rocks lining the shore. After a ton of whining and pleading, my husband gave in and pulled close enough for the kids to clamor out and explore.

They were wearing flip-flops and life jackets so climbing was not easy but they LOVED it.

With warnings like “Watch where you step,” “Look out for snakes,” and “Don’t throw rocks,” you would think their spirits would be dampened, but no way. My husband was so excited to fish with the kids and I think it was a little hard for him when they were less interested in catching the big one than they were in the monolithic rocks. I was more concerned with snakes hiding in the rocks, but we have to choose our battles (July Positivity Challenge).

After a bit I calmed down and reminded myself we were on vacation and it was supposed to be relaxing and fun. If the kids wanted to get out and roam over the rocks for a while, it might mean I get to relax while they rest up from their fun. 🙂

Soon they climbed as far as was safe and were ready to jump back in the boat. They had taken their break from our fishing break and were ready to get back at it.

In daily life, I often find myself so absorbed in my to-do list that I forget that it is ok to take a break or that a few extra minutes snuggling or drawing with my kids won’t hurt the unfolded laundry or unwashed dishes. We all need to give ourselves permission to climb and explore a little bit. We might find that it makes us more productive in the long run.

Give your intentions a new direction today. Let that direction lead you where your heart takes you, even if it’s only for a few moments. It will restore your positivity and increase your energy and that is what having Intentergy is all about.

By: Melanie A. Peters

 

Mama Catches Happiness

Intentergy 5 Comments

Mama Catches Happiness

Mamas Catch.jpg

After I caught this crappie at Truman Lake, my husband told my kids, “Now Mama is happy.”

I made them take my picture. I was proud of my catch and I wanted my kids to see my pride.

Heavy storms with lots of thunder and lightening blew through two of the three nights we were at the lake. The storm fronts seemed to have scared off the fish because we only caught about 15 fish the entire trip. My contributions to the fishing came in the form of this and one other fish caught, keeping the boys from falling in the water, and having minnows ready to bait my daughter’s hook. I just happened to catch this guy during one of the quieter moments of our excursion. I fished with my youngest son on my lap so he could “catch” one too, but he couldn’t stand the wait so we never snagged one for him.

Fishing with my kids is stressful and scary for me. I am afraid of water.

Water has frightened me since I was a teenager. As a camp counselor, I had to rescue two girls after they tipped over their canoe in a deep and restricted part of the camp lake. A year later I had to provide first aid to a man who sustained a head injury at a local water slide when he flipped off the mat (on which he was supposed to remain seated). People who are not afraid of water get hurt. I am afraid of water.

On our fishing trip, safety precautions were my number one concern. Appropriately fitting life jackets, secured seats, swimming lesson reminders, and safety whistles were all in place.  The waters were calm and my always zen husband sat confidently as he drove the boat. I clutched my youngest son for dear life. Continue reading “Mama Catches Happiness” →