Sadly Easy to Forget

My brave, talented friend Heather has decided to pursue a new career by going back to school to become a massage therapist and esthetician. Because I am such a good friend, I booked an appointment for a massage and facial to help Heather earn her service hours. (My booking had nothing to do with a selfish desire for a massage.)

During my massage, Heather and I talked about how important it is to take care of ourselves, but how often we fail to do so. When she massaged my shin, I said, “Oh my goodness! That hurts. I forgot it was so sore.”

In a very sympathetic voice, Heather said, “Sadly we hurt for so long sometimes that we forget about it and accept the pain as part of our day.”

Wow! That hit my heart.

We do allow ourselves to become dulled to physical and emotional pain in many situations and it is sad.

When my son was two, he suffered from frequent ear infections. When the doctor finally decided it was time for tubes in his ears, we were relieved. Hopefully, our boy would be freed from his ear pain.

Following the surgery, we started to notice him talking more and becoming increasingly verbal. It was not until we took him out to see our cows that we realized how much he was missing out on before the tubes.

Our boy LOVED the cows. He would moo loudly every time he saw a cow along the road or at the farm, but this time, when the cows started bawling, he covered his ears and cried because they were so loud. He had never heard them moo at true volume because his ears had been so congested. We never knew what he was missing out on and forgot the limitations that his blocked ears created.

Is there a pain in your life that you have accepted as something to ignore or forget?

There are many sources out there for helping heal from physical injury or past emotional abuse, but I thought it would be helpful to share a source on how to let go of the past. These lessons can be applied to physical and emotional pain in lots of ways.

I won’t go into detail with each of these steps, but I can tell you there is relief ready to be found with releasing the aches that you let go on for too long. I love the idea of finding your comfort zone first because if you are too comfortable with accepting what hurts you, you will never make the changes necessary for it to go away. I also appreciate the step where we are challenged to prioritize ourselves. It goes back to when Heather and I discussed how easy it is to let our self-care go by the wayside. We need to relocate our priorities and find ways to identify why we hurt and make healing those pains a priority. Here is a link to the full article from psychcentral.com.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-and-hurt

I challenge you to think about a physical ache or a hurtful memory that has worn you down into forgetting the source of the pain. Put energy into healing that hurt, focus on what that pain has taught you, and seek the help you need to correct your problem or build the skills to be pain-free. Don’t let the ease of accepting a painful situation, because you just don’t want to think about it, be the frame of mind that you find yourself in each day. Put purpose in remembering what it is to feel good and forget about allowing yourself to feel bad.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. Be selfish get yourself a massage or facial. I know a great gal to call.

Works Cited

“How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On.” Psych Central, 29 Aug. 2022, psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-past-and-hurt.

The Circus Isn’t Going Anywhere – Wise Words Wednesday

Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith

Recently, I stopped at a gift shop in hopes of finding a special present for my niece. It was a normal errand on a typical day, and I was pretty excited about the task. All of a sudden, a voice from my past called my name (literally). It was not a voice I expected or wanted to hear. The projector of the voice was someone who caused a lot of embarrassment and insecurity for me in the past.

I responded with a smile and answered all the questions thrown at me about my life now. Fortunately, I had to pick up my son from practice, so I said my goodbyes and got the heck out of there. The rest of my evening was filled with monkey mind memories swinging from one hurtful remembrance to another.

You know the type. The memory that pops up at 2:00 a.m. when you can’t shut your brain off or the voice across the room that causes your stomach to drop (not in a good way). Some memory monkeys are rabid and never stop attacking your thoughts, while others are sneaky and shimmy into your day without you realizing and then you, all of a sudden, are in full-on “can’t think about anything else mode.”

Here’s the good news. With time, forgiveness, and grace, we can pry those memory monkeys off our proverbial backs and send them packing.

Here’s the bad news. You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.

Anne Lammot wrote these wise words in her book, Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith, when I read this I knew Anne was on to something.

When we do find the strength to move forward, it seems like that pesky memory monkey always finds a way to pop up in our day, whether it be in our thoughts or in the checkout line. The “circus” could be the result of living in a small town or the fact that your mind is its own three-ring extravaganza of emotions and you are the head clown.

Continue reading “The Circus Isn’t Going Anywhere – Wise Words Wednesday”

Quarantine Your Judgements

We are all familiar with the “If you can’t say something nice…” adage, but how often to we put effort into leaving our lousy thoughts out of what we say?

Last week I was angry. Angry at someone I care a great deal about. Angry at the choices they had been making. Those choices felt unfairly selfish to me. When I voiced my anger to my friend Emily, she helped put things into perspective. Emily reminded me that the person I was mad at wasn’t necessarily being selfish; they were being human. Each decision they made was done so because they thought it was the appropriate choice for them.

Of course, Emily was right and I needed to quit being so judgmental.

This week, as I was taking a drive with my friend Chelsea, she was lamenting the overly critical nature of one of her family members. The nature of their hypercritical haptics was exhausting her. We came up with the brilliant idea that people should quarantine their fault finding fascination. The quarantine of unfair judgment and social criticism would be a great way to cure the world with kindness and understanding.

Continue reading “Quarantine Your Judgements”

Burning Calories by Walking Away

Burning Calories

“Burn calories by walking away from anything that causes you severe mental distress.”

There wasn’t any real story behind choosing this quote. It just felt like a great quote to share for today.

As I bask in the afterglow of my 39th birthday, I can only rejoice in knowing that I am alive and I can chose to walk away from those times and people who stress me out.

You can too.

“Burn calories by walking away from anything that causes you severe mental distress.”

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. I am pretty sure this is one exercise routine that doesn’t require doctor permission.

A Running Break

timeout

As I was climbing my way over a mountain of spring semester grading and working through the week’s to-do’s, I started to ache.

My back, my neck, my legs, my arms, my hands, and my head; they all were aching. My temper was short and my attention span even shorter.

I knew I had to find a way to stop the hurting and manage my moodiness.

So I ran away… Continue reading “A Running Break”

Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday

Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday

Misunderstanding the Distance

Misunderstanding creates painful separation. The most painful part of that separation comes from the fact that it could have been prevented if communication had been clear.

Misunderstanding is bred from hastiness or failure to fully witness what is being shared.

Recently, a student submitted the wrong document for his assignment. I entered a zero in the grade book, wrote a comment for him to send the correct assignment to me (so that I could give points for his actual paper), and emailed him a message about the assignment. He did not come to our next class. He did not respond to my email. Two days later he replied to my comment in our online grading program, “What was the problem with my work? I turned it in. What do you want?”

Clearly, he was angry because he did not understand what the problem was. I replied by copying and pasting my original message and a smiley face.

He never replied. At our next class, he was present and said that I had not explained the assignment. I pulled out the sample document I gave the class, showed the page in the text with the sample we shared, and redirected him to the PowerPoint with the notes and assignment that was shown in class. His response, “Oh, I forgot.”

I was hurt that he accused me of not providing enough information to foster understanding. Never would I want to provide a lesson that created misunderstanding. That is the worst distance between student and teacher. Continue reading “Misunderstanding the Distance – Wise Words Wednesday”

So I accidentally ate some chocolate…

So I accidentally ate some chocolate…wp-image-421246380jpg.jpeg

I have established clear and determined intent to abstain from chocolate. It is Lent and I LOVE chocolate so it is the one thing I purposefully give up each year.

TWICE! TWICE! I have inadvertently eaten chocolate in the first 7 days of Lent. Aaauuuggghhhh!

My first infraction came with lunch on Ash Wednesday (of all the days!). I opened my yogurt while checking emails and scarfed it down. (I was really hungry from abstaining.) Then I turned to eat my peanut butter sandwich and realized that, I, in my state of “starvation,” ate a yogurt with chocolate and coconut. I felt so guilty! I didn’t even allow myself to each chocolate on the following Sunday (The one day a week that we are allowed to indulge during Lent) because of my guilt.

My second mistaken consumption occurred this Wednesday. Hubby and a crew of guys were pouring concrete for our new porch steps. I thought it would be nice to make lunch and treat them with cookies. I opened a tub of cookie dough and started scooping. Before placing the first dough ball on the cookie sheet, I did what I always do for “quality control;” I tasted the cookie dough. IT WAS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH!

My guilt was unbearable! I was supposed to be sacrificing. Jesus DIED for us and I can’t go 7 days without chocolate. Oh my goodness! Continue reading “So I accidentally ate some chocolate…”

Toxic Clutter – Wise Words Wednesday

Toxic Clutter – Wise Words Wednesday

toxic-clutter

Many of us begin our spring cleaning as soon as the New Year’s ball drops. We start cleaning out our closets, coat pockets, garages, and storage tubs.

We make resolutions to clean out our bodies and clean up our acts.

With those resolutions we need to work on toxic clutter removal as well.

To most of us clutter is made up of piles of old clothes, magazines, or books. Maybe your clutter has amassed itself on your dresser or in the catch-all drawer in the kitchen or the depths of the back seat of your car. wherever it is; the clutter is growing.

Clutter needs to be viewed as more than stuff that piles up in our homes. It is also the resentment, guilt, anger, hurt, and failure that hangs around in our hearts, minds, and spirits. As we turn towards a fresh new trip around the sun, let’s refresh our lives by removing some of that toxic emotional clutter. Continue reading “Toxic Clutter – Wise Words Wednesday”

You don’t have to have it all figured out – Wise Words Wednesday

You don’t have to have it all figured out – Wise Words Wednesday

You don't have to have it all figured out.png

The unexpected is the only constant in life. We know we have to keep moving forward but we don’t always know what to expect. That’s okay!

When making changes in your life (or just trying to cope with daily stress), keep moving forward. You may not have all the logistics worked out, but you will at least have momentum in your favor.

A lot of my students have cried to me about their indecisiveness for the future. I always assure them that it will be okay. You don’t always have to have it all figured out to move forward. Sometimes opportunities move us forward. We just have to face them with active minds and open hearts.

If you are feeling like you just can’t figure life out, you are not alone. Keep moving forward. Continue making decisions and taking risks. The adventure comes when we leap past the uncertainty and fly with our new discoveries. (Yes, you may crash-land sometimes but remember scars are cool.)

Put your energy into accepting uncertainty. Have faith in knowing you are capable of not just moving forward but moving mountains.

By: Melanie A. Peters