“You need a ‘safe’ word for when someone is doing things or saying something that hurts your heart,” – Kim Borgmeyer
As all parents do, some friends of mine and I were discussing school and the upcoming school year. Some were concerned about the amount of “just kidding” that the kids were doing and how uncertain we were that most would consider their jibes or insults as “jokes.” In addition there were some comments made about when teachers “joke” and the words do not come across as “funny” to the students.
My friend Kim suggested that each classroom have a “safe” word. A word that any student could use to the teacher or other students to signify that what was being said or done was hurtful to them. It could be anything from “rotten apples” to “pink giraffe,” but whatever the word was it would always show that the other’s behavior was not okay.
I thought, “Man, that’s brilliant.” Using a “safe” word is a terrific way to signify the impact of the moment and keep everyone aware of the power of their words and actions.
Of course everyone would need to understand that the “safe” word should only be used in real instances of bullying or disrespect. It should not be a word or phrase to be used lightly or in joking situations and everyone would have to abide by the understanding that it really was a “safe” way to say, “Hey, that’s not okay.”
This reminded me of a time when I gave a nickname to a student. All of my yearbook students had nicknames. It was our tradition. The nickname given to this particular young man was awarded completely out of comradery and friendly ribbing but, as things sometimes do, the nickname evolved to become something that was negative in my student’s life. It was not until after the spring awards banquet that I learned he thought the nickname meant I didn’t think he was smart.
Continue reading ““Safe” Words – Wise Words Wednesday”
As I lay listening to rumbles of thunder this morning, I could not help but think of a conversation I had with my good friend Emily. We were discussing my writing and how I just hadn’t put much out lately on my site. I just haven’t felt that my messages carried enough weight, as if my words weren’t impactful enough.
With each roll of thunder, I remembered what Emily said to me, “Even if you only put out one sentence a day, there is someone who is feeling the same as you or who can relate to your words. You are their voice when they maybe can’t say it for themselves.” Continue reading “While Thunder is the Voice of the Storm…”
Often we don’t notice what others are doing unless it is out of the ordinary. Kind acts aren’t out of the norm for many of us, but they are definitely something that makes us stop, watch, and listen. Kindness communicates beyond words.
Earlier this week I wrote about digging for the gold in others. Finding value in each person makes our days richer and brighter. Adding kindness to our gold diggery enhances the quality of our lives. Digging for the gold in others unfortunately is not something we do all the time. Hopefully we can all start to look and listen for the “golden” traits in those around us.
The Intentergy Challenge for today is to break away from the norm and commit acts of kindness that speak beyond words. Seek past your regular routine to make a positive impact on the life or lives of those around you. Hear cries for help or love that you don’t normally hear and answer them with compassion and understanding.
Check out April Positivity Challenge for 36 ideas on carrying out random acts of kindness.
While we cannot always see the hurt or troubles in the lives of others. We can see the impacts kindness makes. While we don’t always have the right words, our compassion and positive energy echo loudly with love and appreciation.
Humankind = Be Both
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Being kind is cool. Let’s get everyone to jump on that bandwagon.
I am female. Professionally, I hold the same position as many men. I teach. I work cattle and care for turkeys. I am no beauty queen, but Kara McCullough is. In fact, she was just crowned Miss USA this week.
In the interview portion of the pageant, Kara answered two questions that seem to have earned her “ugly” marks from a number of individuals. I saw nothing “ugly” in her answers. Honestly, I found beauty in what she had to say.
When asked: ‘What do you consider feminist to be and do you consider yourself a feminist?’
McCullough, a scientist at the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission, replied “So as a woman scientist in the government, I’d like to transpose the word feminism to equalism, I try not to consider myself this diehard, like, “I don’t really care about men”.’ Sounds like she understands we are all equals and wants her fellow, male Americans to know that she cares about being their equal, contrary to being on opposing sides.
Not being a card-carrying feminist, I looked up the definition of “feminism.”
Continue reading “What’s wrong with being an equalist? – Wise Words Wednesday”
Taste Your Words – Wise Words Wednesday
Chewing food with our mouths open is considered rude and disgusting. Saying words before we think about them can also be quite unsightly.
As we come together for the holidays and forge our way through holiday crowds, we need to make sure our words are as sweet and digestible as possible.
Taste your words before you spit them out.
Consider the weight and brevity of what you say. If you know that you are someone who struggles with thinking before you speak, make dedication to improving on it your Christmas gift to yourself and the ones you love.
Apologies and guilt leave a terrible taste in our mouths. Considering what you say before it is spoken will help prevent those icky instances from occurring. Taste your words before you spit them out.
Give your words intentions of kindness and consideration. Put energy into speaking simple and loving statements. Make your words matter in a positive way. “Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.”
By: Melanie A. Peters
P.S. Please do not chew with your mouth open. It really is yucky.
The Word is Near You – Wise Words Wednesday
Kids say the darndest things. They make these comments out of honesty and innocence (in most cases). While we usually disregard their observations as off-the-wall, we need to remember what our children say is a reflection of what they hear.
Recently some very angry words have come from the mouths of children in my life. Those angry words were directed at candidates of political races. It saddened me to hear them speak of any human being in such a manner, but it was particularly troubling because they spoke those words with complete honesty and comfort.
They were comfortable calling grown-ups, whom they don’t even know, names and accusing those adults of horrible things. The kids at school were verbally and emotionally angry with anyone who differed in their views about who should be elected. Their passion was admirable, but their hatred and distaste was unnerving. Continue reading “The Word is Near You – Wise Words Wednesday”