Category Compliments

When Trash Talk = Love

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Have you ever loved someone enough to stand in front of a crowd of family, friends, and coworkers and bash that person? Have you shared stories of their failures, personal problems, and, most likely, their greatest insecurities?

Well, I have.

Did it feel good?

It absolutely did.

What is wrong with me?

Nothing.

What’s wrong with my little sister?

Apparently, a lot of things.

To celebrate my sister reaching a monumental age, my brother-in-law planned a Toast and Roast.

He invited guests to gift my sister with sarcasm, trash talk, and general degradation of her character.

It was phenomenal!

Who knew that slander and verbal abuse could bring people together in such a glorious light?!?

After the roasters had laid out their lines of laughable insult, the birthday girl was given a turn to bash them back.

As my sister took the stage, I was slightly fearful that the roasts had burned a little too deep. She walked up and said, “This was the weirdest birthday party I’ve ever had, so, uh, I guess, thanks?”

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Feeling Not-So-Smart???

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A huge portion of the time I feel like my family doesn’t think I’m smart enough to wipe my own butt. (If you have teenagers, you know.) Even more often I believe the people I encounter in daily life think I’m a cheeseburger short of a Happy Meal. Why is that?

Do you ever feel this way?

Even though we have immediate access to infinite information at our fingertips, we all seem to doubt our own ability or the ability of others to have a lick of sense. We have all developed complexes that make us feel either too smart for our own good or too dumb to function.

There’s nothing smart about either of those mindsets and it makes me want to borrow the words of Stewart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And, doggone it, people like me.”

I want to get to the point where I can confidently say, “Shut up, insecurity. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I’m just as guilty as the next guy for using knowledge to puff up my self-esteem in certain situations and act like a know-it-all. (I always want to kick myself later for being snotty.) There’s something to be said for admitting we don’t have all the answers and even more to lifting others up for the knowledge and skills they possess.

It’s important to value the intelligence of individuals and recognize that it’s our unique knowledge and skills that make the world go round. If you aren’t feeling like the brightest crayon in the box, it’s okay. Broken crayons still color and can be molded to make a difference that lightens any situation.

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Recognizing There is a Hole

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Have you ever been down and gotten lucky enough for someone to recognize that you needed a lift?

Recently, Hubby discovered a calf that was stuck in a hole. He rescued the poor guy from a situation where the calf couldn’t see a way out.

The crazy thing about Hubby finding this calf was that if he hadn’t paid attention to the entire herd, he would not have noticed the mama cow off by herself. Hubby knew she had a calf and it was odd for her to be alone.

When he sought out the cow, he discovered the hole AND the problem.

Walking through the field the fallen calf could not be seen. It was not until Hubby investigated the lonely mama’s situation that he recognized the cause of her duress hidden by the tall grass around the hole.

(The orange arrow marks the calf’s location.)

Because he took the time to see what was wrong, Hubby was able to lift the calf from the hole and reunite the mama with her baby. He found a way to relieve their stress and help resolve their problem.

How are you at recognizing there is a hole in someone’s day?

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Monthly Positivity Challenge

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We have arrived at the time of the year when giving thanks is officially the cool thing to do. There’s an entire holiday dedicated to the act of gratefulness. With the Thanksgiving spirit in mind, the Intentergy Positivity Challenge for November is to challenge yourself to 30 days of intentional thanksgiving.

My personal 30 Day Challenge is to write and send or deliver a thank you letter to someone each day in November. Keeping up with my tradition of card-making and lifting spirits with homemade greetings is something that brings great joy to my life, and, hopefully, those that receive my cards.

If card-making isn’t your thing, consider sending thank-you texts or emails. You can also support local shops by purchasing cards to send to those for whom you are thankful.

Pinterest is always a terrific go-to for ideas on giving. Here are a few Gratitude Challenges I found to get you through the 30 days of November. Give one of them a try!

In addition to sending 30 Thank You cards, I plan to challenge myself to the Instagram Thankfulness Photo Challenge below.

Whatever you choose to do for November, know I am grateful that you took the time to read this post. I’m thankful for your open mind and willing spirit. I wish you much success in putting Intentergy into your thanksgiving efforts and hope your holidays give you even more to be grateful for.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. What are you thankful for?

Naturally Super

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Without a doubt, this calf was born super. He has all the markings of Spiderman or a WWE wrestler. There is no magic charm or superpower that could change his appearance. Unless he’s found a mirror somewhere in the pasture, he has no idea that his markings manifest the fact that he is bound for greatness.

I think we are all born naturally super. It’s hard to see our exceptionality sometimes when we look in the mirror.

I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to feeling unattractive, imperfect, or goofy-looking. I have yet to meet anyone who looks in the mirror every day and says, “Dang! I am perfect.”

If you do this and are sincere in your proclamation, please share your secret.

Until then, I will probably continue to lament my big ears, mommy belly, and the birthmark on my hip.

Despite my lamentations and the self-mortification felt by most, there is one thing that we can find solace in and that is the fact that we are naturally super in the eyes of those who love us. We were created in the image of God to make the world a more beautiful and diverse place.

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Refrigerator Fancy

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Do you consider yourself to be fancy?

Do you include your appliances in your fancifulness?

At dinner one night, my children and husband were making light of the fact that I was drinking a glass of red wine with my steak. They continued teasing me about my “fancy” wine glass and my love for planning, preparing, and documenting good meals. (I’m not really very fancy, but I guess they have to have something to tease me about.)

As the ribbing continued about my fanciful ways, my son said, “Just look at your refrigerator.”

We all stopped.

What did the fridge have to do with me being “fancy”?

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Reasons to Get Out of Bed

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The alarm clock ringing might be the #1 reason people give for getting out of bed, but it’s not that ring, ring, ring that really calls us to rise. My alarm clock is working fine, but I’ve been struggling with motivation to get moving in the morning.

It’s not just that it’s winter, and I want to hibernate, but that I really haven’t felt successful or inspired as of late.

I know I’m not alone, if you are feeling like there’s not enough good reasons to get going in the morning, check out my recent telephone conversation and how it helped with my dragging drive.

I called for tech support as I was working on the cataloging system for our elementary school library. We are relatively new to using this cataloging system, and this was not my first tech call. I had already spoken to Keith, the company representative, in the past. Keith is in Canada. I am in Central Missouri. When Keith takes my call, I always ask how things are in Canada, and he kindly tells me about the weather there. As we waited for the computer system to reboot my account, I asked Keith how many tech support calls he answers on average each day. He said, no one had ever asked him before, but, ironically, it was just discussed at a recent meeting. Keith said his average daily call count was 12.

Because I know that my past calls have all lasted between 30 minutes and 90 minutes, I thanked Keith for his time and his assistance. He laughed and told me that most people probably wouldn’t think of what he does as valuable. I pointed out that his service calls help me to provide library resources to over 130 students and faculty. While my school is a small one, I know he assists large colleges, universities, churches, and high schools; all with patrons in the thousands. I happily went on telling him that his 12 calls a day help thousands of people with their writing, reading, and research. He has a tremendous ripple effect on the success of all those patrons, and that’s a great reason to get out of bed every day.

Keith didn’t speak for a few moments. Actually, I was afraid he hung up on me or lost connection. When he did speak, the sincerity in his voice was so sweet. After saying, “Thank you,” Keith told me that it had never occurred to him to value his position in such a positive way. It made my day to know that I had brightened his.

After hanging up with Keith, my library software was working, and my mojo was much improved.

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Sleeping Freckles

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On a recent visit, my three-year-old nephew Henry asked, “What’s there on your face?”

It took me a minute, but I realized he was asking about the worry-lines between my eyebrows (wrinkles). I smiled and said, “Those are just my wrinkles. Look I have more when I smile” and pointed at the crow’s feet formed on the side of my eyes.

Henry and I snuggling and hoping to wake some of his freckles.

The next day Henry asked why I had those spots on my face and arms. I told him they were my freckles… spots where the sun kissed my skin. He looked innocently at his arms and said, “My freckles are still sleeping.”

While his noticing my wrinkles made me a little sad, his discovery of my freckles and statement about his sleeping spots was super sweet and made me think about the freckles, wrinkles, and other characteristics that appear with time.

I know we can all relate to our adolescent desires to be taller, fuller, thinner, or whatever-er, but once we are doing the adulthood thing, how often do we give ourselves credit for the features that are no longer “sleeping”? Or how do we celebrate the differences between people? Do we point out the idiosyncrasies of other’s appearance in positive or appreciative ways?

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Luck is in the Eye of the Observer – March Positivity Challenge

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Have you ever witnessed someone’s success and thought, “Man, that guy is so lucky!”?

As the college basketball season wraps up with the wonders of the national championship tournament, I am enthralled with the games and the amazing feats of the players on the court. All too often I take for granted that the men and women making those shots and executing impressive defenses worked countless hours and put in immeasurable efforts to be there.

I will sometimes find myself saying snarky things like, “Must be easy if you’re 7-feet tall to block that shot” or “Come on! You’re a Division I basketball player; make your free throws.” My jeers and cheers often fall short of the reality that those athletes are under a great deal of pressure, and my yoga-pant-wearing, couch-coaching isn’t providing any assistance or luck to anyone.

Luck is usually a trait that is determined by someone observing a situation. Yes, we can feel lucky because of a positive experience or encounter, but for the most part we consider ourselves to not be as “lucky” as everyone else because we always see someone else’s wishes coming true.

I am reminded of a my last basketball game in the 8th grade. My sister, whom I had always played with on the same team, was in the hospital recovering from a life-saving surgery, and our team and I were playing our arch rivals from Perryville. It was the consolation game of the end of season tournament, and I wanted nothing more than to win that game for my sister. The entire game was a close one. With 10 seconds left, we were tied. After I tied the game with a free throw, the other team was brining the ball down the court.

Their player, a girl who I seriously did not like, dribbled past our guards and stopped right in front of me. She shot. My finger tips grazed the ball.

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Who Do You Think of When You Mop?

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Who do you think of when you mop?

This may seem like an unusual question, but in the grand scheme of things there isn’t a chore or task that we don’t relate with someone else. While I mop, I am usually mentally cussing my family for being so messy, but before the floor is dry I almost always think of Mary Scott.

Who is Mary Scott?

Well, Mary was a shift manager at the Dairy Queen where I worked as a teenager.

Mary was a tough manager because she did not appreciate horseplay, slacking off, or sneaking bites of cookie dough toppings that weren’t paid for. She appreciated a job well done and sought to provide quality customer service to each customer that came through the door. She also really liked making the Blizzards thick enough to turn upside down each time one was ordered.

Many of my co-workers did not like the job of cleaning the dinning room at the end of the night. I didn’t mind it because it was easier to get clean than the hamburger grease in the kitchen. Sweeping, wiping down tables and doors, bathroom supply checks, and mopping the floor were easy enough tasks to get done so I could get out of there at the end of my shift. One night, Mary watched me mop around the last tables and the floor in front of the soda fountains. I asked if everything was okay. She smiled and said she really liked when I or my sister closed the front because it would be done right. “You girls know how to work. That’s for sure,” she added.

I don’t know why her words have stuck with me, but each time I lug a mop and bucket to clean a floor, I remember the pride I felt in her compliment. Her words also inspired me to always do the best job I could. I wanted to be the person who did a job right. Sometimes I was tempted to cut corners in my cleaning, like my colleagues having water fights in the back, but Mary’s words always caused me to be someone she could count on.

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