Changing Someone

Changing Someone

When we begin to change someone,
the change is not always noticeable.
The changes rarely happen instantly
or make a huge racket.
An extra giggle in our laugh or a sweet curl at the corner of their mouth,
an higher hop in your step or a wider swing in their swag.

When we begin to change someone,
the change is not always noticeable.
An extra plate becomes a common setting next to yours.
Everyday the shoes by the door number a pair more.
Schedules shift.
Your circle of friends decreases, blends, expands.

When we begin to change someone,
the change is not always noticeable.
Lives start to melt into a schedule in sync.
Habits begin to form hand-in-hand with routine.
The dishes may start to make it to the sink;
the laundry may pile itself in the right places.

When we begin to change someone,
the change is not always noticeable.
When the changes start to make themselves known,
Those that have changed are not always happy with how they have grown.
The deviation from their norms can lead to bitterness.
They did not want to change, but they wanted to be with you. Continue reading “Changing Someone”

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Don’t Worry…They are Struggling Too

Don't Worry...they are struggling too

“I don’t care what they think.”

“Who do they think they are? Judging me?”

“Seriously, why do they think they are better than me?”

How often do we find ourselves making these snarky statements?

Our rhetoric for these loaded comments usually shows itself when we feel like someone does not like us or something we do. We immediately go on the defensive and throw down the I-don’t-care-what-you-think-of-me jargon, but inside we are battling the why-don’t-they-like-me fight.

Some of the snarkiest people I have ever met are also some of the most insecure individuals I have known. To inflate their self-perception, they preach a degrading dialogue about anyone they think they bring down. The problem with this kind of judging is that the hurtful words usually become flames in the fire of burning bridges for future friendships and work experiences.

Let me give you a for instance: When I was in college I worked for an entertainment retailer. My job included working in the book department, the cafe, and training new employees. I loved that job. There was one associate, who we will call Adam. Adam did a nice job on register and worked well with customers on the floor. He eventually made it to the ranks of shift manager. After becoming a shift manager, for whatever reason, Adam gradually became unhappy with the company. He put in his two weeks notice. One night while closing the store, I overheard him tell another associate that he never comes to work for his last day at any job. Well, I knew what was coming and planned to come in the day of his last shift. We were going to be short a manager. Continue reading “Don’t Worry…They are Struggling Too”

Basically good…like everybody else

Basically Good

Every night when I go to bed my mind floods with the shortcomings of my day. Most of the time my distractions stem from my own mistakes. The snippy words barked at my children in frustration. The letter I forgot to send. The phone call that I meant to make. The laundry in the washing machine never made it to the dryer. Did I feed the dog?

If I let my mistakes run rampant, my mind never lets me sleep. The only consolation I find is in the knowledge that I am basically good. Yeah, I am weak. Yes, I am full of mistakes. But, for the most part, I am basically good. Continue reading “Basically good…like everybody else”

This Mama’s Heart

This Mamas Heart

This Mama’s Heart via Daily Prompt: Nervous

When you become a mother you give away your heart.You love stronger and harder than you ever imagined possible. That love grows with your child. The pains that come with it grow too.

This mama’s heart has grown and loved in so many ways since the births of my three kiddos. My heart has calmed and smiled at their peaceful sleep and joyful discoveries. It has hurt and beat to rocky rhythms when they have scared me with their  recklessness and angered me with their antics.

With each doctor visit or ER escapade, my heart has really taken a beating. Sprains, stitches, and broken bones leave their scars. However, the ache isn’t truly felt until after the whole ordeal is over.

In the last two years I have made six trips to the emergency room. Not all of the trips were for my kiddos, but the impacts on my heart were no different whether I was taking in hubby, my own mama, or one of my babies.

This spring my daughter broke her arm. Like all of our other trips to the hospital, I was able to stay calm and put together all of the information and documents needed to ensure beneficial care be provided. Similarly, my heart ached as I watched someone I loved lying in that hospital bed. Later that night I woke suddenly. My heart was racing. I could not catch my breath. I was shaking. Continue reading “This Mama’s Heart”

How to Treat a Bad Day – Wise Words Wednesday

How to Treat a Bad Day – Wise Words Wednesday

how-to-treat-a-bad-day

Bad days seem to be contagious. When you have one bad day, you seem to become a bad day magnet

Bad days stink.

It is easy to say, “Tomorrow is another day,” or “Cheer up. It could always be worse,” but we know those thoughts don’t defeat the dreariness in some cases. The best medicine for a case of the blues is to treat yourself though kindness or charity.

Doing something kind or generous can be the first step in kicking cloudy thoughts to the curb. Not only will your actions help someone else have a better day, but you will quickly find that your friendliness has the same infectious inclinations that the bad days bring. One kind act makes is a lot easier to motivate ourselves to feel accomplished and lovable.

If you aren’t going for the sweet, touchy, feely remedy, remember Mercutio’s crude advice for Romeo after Rosaline’s rejection in The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio roughly advised his friend, “If love is rough with you, be rough with love.” Mercutio’s advice wasn’t exactly dealing with how to treat a bad day, but we can adapt it to fit our treatment purposes. Continue reading “How to Treat a Bad Day – Wise Words Wednesday”

Band-aids Only Cover Up the Hurt

Band-aids Only Cover Up the Hurt

Band-aids only cover up the pain.jpg

We have a “No Blood = No Band-aid” rule at my house. I know this sounds kind of mean but my kids would go through a box of band-aids every day, if I didn’t enforce this.

There is something about covering up a boo-boo that seems to make it feel better but does the cover-up really help?

I am as guilty as anyone about covering up my hurts with busy work or eating chocolate. Sometimes I feel the need to lash out because of my shortcomings or put up a front when I just don’t know what to do in a situation. These are my behavior band-aids.

Think about the ways you cover up hurt in your life. Is it food? Alcohol? Shopping? Unhealthy relationships? What do you do to fill the empty spaces in your heart?  Continue reading “Band-aids Only Cover Up the Hurt”

Tune into Peace – Wise Words Wednesday

Tune into Peace – Wise Words Wednesday

A Channel of Peace.png

Most people only think of television or the radio when it comes to channels. Way before tv took over our mindscape, channels meant a way to guide or divert things like water or attention.

“Prayer of St. Francis” has long been one of my favorite church hymns but lately it has had a much more powerful meaning. There seems to be so much hurt and hatred in our world caused by the sensitivity we have created amongst ourselves. We need to redirect our emotions and energy toward creating peace.

No two people were made the same. (Thank goodness!) We need to embrace the things that make us different and let go of the things that we believe divide us. This isn’t about race, gender, or religion. It’s about love.

Too many believe that they cannot love or be loved by certain groups. Those kinds of ideas must be derailed and their love and thoughts must be channeled by means of peace.

Please continue to direct your energy and intents to ending unrest and hurt. Bring unity and coexistence to daily routines. Tune out the ideas that only violence and revenge can end the disparities. Let peace be the channel by which we find love for everyone and let injuries find healing through our actions and words.

By: Melanie A. Peters