Don’t Forget You’ve Got It

In order to maintain my status as “Meanest Mom Ever,” I assign chores to my children. One of the most frequent tasks assigned is that of unloading and reloading the dishwasher. In response to their frequent whining about the task, I, in true “seven miles up hill, both ways, in the snow” fashion, sadly lament that I didn’t have a dishwasher growing up.

If grumbling continues, I remind them of when our last dishwasher died and we went weeks without one. To emphasize the experience, I will start filling the sink with hot, soapy water and invite them to go ahead and wash the dirty dishes by hand. I encourage them to dry those dishes AND put them away, IF they can’t find the energy to take care of the fully functional dishwasher. (It’s child abuse at its finest.)

The other day, I found myself in need of one of these “Don’t forget you’ve got it” reminders as well. Everywhere I walked in my house, I noticed things begging for my attention. Too much laundry to fold, too many floors in need of sweeping, too much mail to sort, and more sticky notes with stuff to do than I could muster the strength to tackle. It was truly a first-world crisis.

To distract myself from the despair of too much to do, I did what any normal human would do. I chose to scroll through Facebook. One of the very first posts that popped up in my feed was from Ms. Sunshine. I love her posts because they are always short, sweet, and uplifting. That particular day, her message was a bullseye to my heart, reminding me that I had way too much to be grateful for.

Each and every day, we have blessings and burdens laid at our feet. Their significance is determined by how much power we give them through our actions and intentions. Do we remember to go heavy on the thanks, or do we overload our focus with our problems?

I felt like someone turned on the hot, soapy water in the sink for me and said, “Are you gonna clean your attitude up the hard way? Or are you going to take full advantage of your abilities to make a difference?”

After sharing Ms. Sunshine’s post, I put down my mind-zapping, cellular device and got back to getting things done. Later that night (after my attitude and house were cleaner), I revisited my Facebook feed and was pleasantly surprised to see how many of my friends “liked” and shared the Ms. Sunshine post.

Maybe they all needed a “Don’t forget you’ve got it” reminder, too, or maybe their purpose for the day was to broadcast that reminder to others. Any which way, gratitude got some attention, and attitudes got some adjusting.

Here’s your Intentergy positive purpose for today: Go heavy on the “Thank you, God, for everything” and remember that you have an abundance of tasks, chores, and opportunities available to dedicate some energy towards. You’ve got so much going for you that the possibilities may seem overwhelming. There are tons of people out there cheering for you. The world is full of resources, energy, education, and joy. The key is: Don’t forget you’ve got it all at your disposal.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. No children or dishes were harmed in the unloading or reloading of the dishwasher, and a little hand washing won’t hurt anyone.

P.P.S. At least we have running water and soap to clean the plates that had been covered in healthy, delicious food.

Wishing for Sasquatch & Upright Trees

In this world, there are all kinds of people, but it recently occurred to me that there seem to be two types of wishers among the throngs of earthly inhabitants. Some wish for the unknown, while others wish for what they know to be comfortable. On the trip of a lifetime, Hubby and I had the opportunity to hike in Juneau, Alaska, with friends. It was AMAZING!

As we trekked 5 miles into the Alaskan forest, one of the natural occurrences that our guide pointed out was that many trees had fallen along the path, completely revealing their roots because the soil is so shallow.

The fragility of the trees’ stability was fascinating because the tree roots where we live rarely come out of their deeply embedded homes without the help of a tornado or bulldozer.

Despite their seemingly easy downfall, the Alaskan trees managed to keep their roots together.

I don’t think I would be able to hold all my facets from flailing in every direction if I toppled in such a massive fashion.

As we made our descent, my gal pal and I marveled at how lucky we were to witness the Alaskan beauty and how hard it was to wrap our brains around just how massive the wilderness is. Walking arm-in-arm, we were in rapture.

My sweet friend, being the magical wish-maker that she is, said, “The only thing that would make this hike more perfect is if Sasquatch walked across the trail in front of us.”

Continue reading “Wishing for Sasquatch & Upright Trees”

The First Person You Cancel On…

Dependability. Consideration. Support. Trust.

We all strive to bring these characteristics to our relationships. No one wants to be known as the “canceller” or the “flake” in friendship. Even with the universal expectation for accountability, we all know life happens. Sometimes we are forced to detour from plans or take rain checks.

I hate asking for rain checks, and it absolutely kills me to be the one who lets someone else down.

(Seriously, I lie awake at night and stew about failures to follow through on plans, even when there was no way to prevent it.)

Despite my extreme aversion to being a “canceller,” there is one person I let down way too often.

It was not until I started reading Rachel Hollis’ book, Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be, that I recognized my frequent-flake status.

In Girl, Wash Your Face, the chapters are dedicated to the lies we tell ourselves. These lies prevent us from seeking out our most successful selves. Hollis shares in her writing how she debunked her personal lies and her methods for overcoming predicaments she faced with each lie. I hadn’t even gotten through Chapter 2, “The Lie: I’ll Start Tomorrow,” when my personal-lie-realization rammed me right in the heart.

Continue reading “The First Person You Cancel On…”

8,092,034,510* Other Possibilities

As I’ve ventured through the process of seeking healthy boundaries, there is a situation that has been nagging at my heart. (See my recent post “All Full Up – New Perspectives on Boundaries” )

It took me over a year to realize a former friend was just that. Former.

After 12 months of unreturned cards, calls, texts, and messages without a hint as to why for me to say, “It’s not me.”

After 2 years and 5 months, it shouldn’t hurt that someone severed ties bound by 18 years of friendship, but, dang, it hurts.

Here’s the good news. I am not alone. There are roughly 8,092,034,510* other humans roaming this planet, who could be my friend.

Your odds are just as good (if not better based on your geographic location). This statistic is formulated from the Census.gov projection that on January 1, 2025 there were 8,092,034,511 people on Earth.

So, even if one person has moved on or you have chosen to go a separate way from someone else, the world is full of other possibilities. Possibilities for you to find friendship, support, and love.

If you are in a lonely situation or a place of being put aside, I hope you find solace in the fact that you have options. The odds are favorable that others have felt the same way. Even better there is someone out there to help you heal because, hey, they’ve been there too!

The Intenergy message here is that we are not alone. Ending a relationship or losing a connection with someone hurts. We can’t avoid those kinds of suffering, but we can give ourselves some grace as we move, grow, or heal when a relationship falls apart. We can embrace the potential for new friendships or greater development of old ones. With 8,092,034,510* other folks making their way through this world, we are bound to find someone to build a connection with and fulfill our lives in healthy, loving, and productive ways. You are not alone (verified by Census.gov).

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. The * is due to the fact that 8,092,034,511 is an estimate. People are always being born and passing away, and I wasn’t sure I should count you or myself in the estimate because I am the one experiencing a loss and maybe you are the exception because you are looking for a new friend. ANYWAY, the * means there are still lots of possibilities for friendships, love, and bonds out there.

P.P.S. I love ALL my friends, even if we haven’t spoken for a while OR they didn’t choose Kentucky to win on their March Madness bracket.

All Full Up – New Perspective on Boundaries

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are by Lysa TerKeurst screamed, “Read me!” from the shelves at the bookstore, library, and in my Amazon “Something you might like” recommendations. I added it to my WTR list and after a particularly disheartening week, I thought I’d give it a listen while Ubering the kids around. Yup, Amazon was right. I do like it.

I’m grateful I chose to listen to the audio version because hearing the words from Lysa TerKeurst’s actual voice made the message much more authentic and relatable, but it’s the words that have my heart aching for healthier ways to set boundaries for those I love and myself.

The crazy thing is that it took nearly to the end of the ninth chapter in a twelve-chapter book for my desperate self to realize my real problem. It’s not the expectations of others that fuel my need to establish boundaries. My issue is that I’m trying to build boundaries from the wrong end of the emotional gas gauge. I am full up on obligations while running on empty when it comes to inspiration, self-worth, and time.

Before listening to Lysa’s narrative, I believed that creating boundaries between myself and others could cause me to fail as a Christian. I thought refusing to give of myself as Christ did resulted in others not needing or appreciating me, and the best way to feel accepted and helpful was to run myself into the ground fulfilling the expectations of others. (If I’m killing myself to help, they will see my efforts and love me more, right?!?)

Continue reading “All Full Up – New Perspective on Boundaries”

A Very Fine 9! – February Positivity Challenge

Wow! How did NINE years happen so quickly?

Can you believe it?!?

Friday marked the 9th anniversary of Intentergy!

That’s nine years of putting positivity out there through stories, quotes, and photos. I’m proud, grateful, and somehow surprised all at the same time.

I know it’s cliche, but just like my kids, this blog grew up so quickly.

Now I have to keep it growing (just like my kids).

Friendly message from WordPress congratulating me on 9 years of Intentergy.

Let’s make February more than fine celebrating the 9th Blogiversary of Intentergy.

Let’s make it VERY FINE with nine personal goals for positivity.

These don’t have to be completed this month, but, it would be super fine to do so.

Ideas for Positive Goals:

Whichever goals you set, be sure to write them down!

The adage, “A goal that’s not written down is not a goal – it’s a dream,” preaches the importance of making your objectives concrete by writing them down.

Do it!

Write it on a post-it note, comment on this post, or make it your profile pic on social media. It doesn’t matter where you record it, just get that goal out there and then get going on making that goal a reality.

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my Intentergy journey these last 9 years! One of my top goals is to keep Intentergy going and I’m grateful to have you all as a part of it.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. What’s your goal?

The World is Your Ornament

Because we all need a creative outlet some time, my gal pal Amy and I signed up for a free ornament painting class at the library. We weren’t sure what it would entail, but we knew we were down for crafting something festive with our friends at the library.

It turns out that “painting” these ornaments was the simple process of selecting a few acrylic paint shades, squeezing paint into the shatter-proof orbs, and swirling them around to make unique designs. It was pretty much foolproof and even the least crafty of crafters could be successful at this project.

The coolest part of this particular class was the diversity in the creation of the ornament designs. I had as much fun watching our classmates select and swirl their acrylic shades as I did making my own ornaments.

Of course, there were the Fancy Nancies who added hodgepodge with glitter around the circumference of their orbs or brushed touches of shiny stuff to the inside of their globes (a.k.a. Amy), but there were also the basic builders (like me) who were happy to simply not spill the paint as we held our plastic ornaments at varied angles creating our distinctive designs.

Of course, it is!

Clearly, Shelley was making a play on the saying “The World is our Oyster,” but when it comes to the oyster-based adage we have to FIND the treasure that brings value to our lives. In the ornament ideology, we CREATE the beauty.

As we take on the decorative and necessary challenges of the upcoming weeks, I encourage you to adopt Shelley’s ornament ideology. Spread joy and beauty while shaping your success through your unique approach. You aren’t like everyone else. Your goals aren’t the same as anyone else’s.

Your vision of what the holidays should look like is not identical to any other individual.

Your solutions for personal and professional situations don’t have to be molded by previous processes.

Be the painter of your own landscape for health, success, and holiday joy.

The world really is your ornament. Use your Intentergy to show everyone what it is that makes you shine. Let your energy charge those around you to be positive and recognize the importance of focusing on purpose that fashions a fabulous outlook. The more you make from your individuality the fuller your vision will take shape.

By: Melanie A. Peters

P.S. What colors would you paint your ornaments?

P.P.S. Check out Fancy Nancy Amy and me with our super original ornaments!

My ornaments are going on my deer-themed Christmas tree.

The Unexpected (Unwanted) Push

When I was collecting ideas for my post on the Monster Hissy Fit, my friend Angela told me about a time when her daughter Brielle melted down and held up the queue for a zipline ride. The story of that zipline experience inspired its own post.

As many rides do, the Pumpkin Patch zipline required riders to be a certain height and weight and to wear a safety helmet. Brielle has wonderfully thick, dark hair. She always wears it in a high ponytail. The safety helmet for the zipline required her to lower the ponytail. Brielle was not agreeable to this stipulation and refused to let Angela redo her hair.

The line was growing longer, the ponytail was not fitting tightly in the helmet, and the operators of the ride were not willing to let her go without the helmet fitting snuggly. Angela did what any rational mother would do in this situation.

She shoved the helmet over the ponytail, pushed her daughter off the platform, and let the ride operators know she took responsibility for her daughter’s safety and the loose helmet.

After experiencing the exhilaration of the zipline, Brielle came running from the ride, face flushed back to Angela, and she cried in disbelief, “You pushed me!”

Her obstinate girl got what she wanted, but she did not appreciate Angela’s push.

Have you ever been pushed into something you weren’t ready for?

Continue reading “The Unexpected (Unwanted) Push”

Don’t Feed the Fears.

Last week I heard someone say, “Fear is what you feed it.” It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, but for some reason this time the adage activated my little, blog-writing mind. I began thinking about all the fears I have been feeding lately. Holiday planning pressures, parenting failures, scheduling screw-ups, physical fitness, and financial flops were just a few of my starving stressors.

To assuage my anxious appetite, I planned to attend a Stretch and Flex class at the gym. It’s a yoga-inspired class that is calming and physically challenging all at once.

I was stoked.

Unfortunately, I was also at the gym at the WRONG time.

When I arrived, I saw the yoga mats being rolled up and stationary bikes being rolled out. What!?! Stretch and Flex was the 5:00 a.m. class. I had just showed up for the 5:50 a.m. spin class.

This did not look relaxing. This looked like I was going to have to get on a bike.
(I have never been much of a bike rider and the idea of a spin class frightened me.)

My friend Kristen, the class instructor, was elated to see me and rushed to adjust MY bike seat to the correct height and help shove my feet in the strap, cage-looking contraptions on the pedals.
(What if I fell off? I was going to be hung up in a stationary bike. This was going to be rough.) Kristen kindly showed me where to put my water bottle and placed a hand weight on my handlebars. Apparently, I was ready for spin class.

Continue reading “Don’t Feed the Fears.”

Don’t Be a Parrot

Last summer as my friend Jackie was recovering from a very serious health scare, I pleaded with her to tell me how I could help. She said, “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not a parrot and I can’t just say what you want to hear.” I told her I didn’t want her to be a parrot, I wanted her to be honest with me about what we needed to do to get her back on track. I asked her to give me two or three things I could do to assist in her recovery. And that’s where we began.

I think we’ve all been in situations where we didn’t know where to start or what to say. Sometimes finding a starting point seems harder than reaching the finish line. All too often, we play the role of the parrot telling others what we believe they want to hear because it’s easier than asking for what we really need.

When I had wrist and elbow surgery last December, I had friends and family ask how they could help. I didn’t want to be a burden, especially during such a busy holiday season, so I just told them to pray for me. (Prayer is always a GREAT idea.) However, once my arm was in that cast and I was feeling the pain of recovery, it was a whole lot easier to ask for what I needed. We shouldn’t have to feel pain in asking for help.

Continue reading “Don’t Be a Parrot”